66. My Maine Birth: Holly’s Three Maine Hospital Birth Stories

Holly: 0:00

If you're preparing, if you've never had a birth or you're preparing for another birth or whatever it is. I think just being very clear of what you want and understanding you can be flexible with that, you can change your mind anytime you want. It is not set in stone. There is no plan that can be placed that's going to be perfect, and being comfortable with whatever those choices are and understanding your needs and those can be flexible and those can change. And just being clear with those values, also with your partner, so that they can communicate for you when maybe you're experiencing like a lot of pain or whatever it is. I think that's really important to understand and also just that birth, pregnancy, postpartum, having children there are just hard decisions and there's no, sometimes there is no right or wrong. It's just understanding that every decision is hard and it's difficult and you make the best decision that you can with the information that you have.

Angela: 0:59

I'm Angela and you're listening to my Main Birth, a space where we share the real-life stories of families and their unique birth experiences in the beautiful state of Maine. From our state's biggest hospitals to birth center births and home births, every birth story deserves to be heard and celebrated. Whether you're a soon-to-be mom, a seasoned mother or simply interested in the world of birth, these episodes are for you. Welcome to episode 66 of the my Main Birth podcast.

Holly: 1:38

Today's birth story guest is Holly and she shares all about her three main birth stories. Hi, holly, welcome to my Main Birth. Hi, how are you? Hi, I'm good. How are you Good?

Angela: 1:54

Nice to meet you virtually, so to get started, will you first share a little bit about you and your family?

Holly: 2:07

Sure Yep. So I live with my husband and I have three young kids. They are now two, four and six. So they are it's wild. Three boys and I am home and it's crazy pretty much 24 seven. They're very physical. I am a family nurse practitioner, actually by education, but I stayed. I started staying home two years ago, in 2021. Oh, my goodness, this year it will be three years. Geez, time flies. I started, transitioned home in 2021 and then found out I was pregnant with my third. So I previously worked in pediatrics as a nurse practitioner and actually as a nurse in a private practice OBGYN office, but I then, yeah, I've been home for several years and I love being home. It has its own unique challenges, but we love it.

Angela: 2:56

Aw. Well, now to get into your birth stories. Will you start by sharing a little bit about when you found out you were pregnant with your oldest and your thoughts in choosing your care?

Holly: 3:08

Sure. So my I was pregnant with my first when my husband and I were both in graduate school, which was it presented its own unique challenges because we were in a high stress time of our life and not living in our own home and I was in graduate school and also working at this OB office and it's very, it's very hard. I think people need to understand that when you work in a particular area, like OB or pediatrics or really anywhere, unfortunately you see the best and you see the worst, but what sticks out in our mind is the worst right. So for every nine out of 10 perfect, healthy pregnancies and deliveries, it's the one that unfortunately comes, with consequences. That you remember. And I've always had a very natural approach to understanding birth and pregnancy. I've always viewed it as a very normal, natural, healthy process. But unfortunately, I also had a lot of anxiety to begin with, because I did a lot of triage nursing for miscarriages and we didn't share our pregnancy outside of our very closest people until past 14 weeks, because I just had a lot of anxiety about having an early miscarriage or a late one. Again, from everything that I had seen constantly in terms of my birth and knowing what I wanted.

Holly: 4:43

I knew early on on I did want a pretty natural delivery, meaning not a whole lot of intervention, avoiding interventions as much as possible. Some of that again from experience. So when you're in nursing school everyone gets to go on an OB floor. But you learn about the risks and the benefits of all interventions and for me personally I hold no judgment for anyone that wants other types of experiences. But for me I really didn't want intervention because I know one intervention leads to the next, to the next, to the next, to the next and unfortunately this is not poking or but it is kind of viewed in many spaces that you know there are risks but it's, it's not a big deal. You know it's not a big deal to have this. Not a big deal. For me personally it is a big deal. I didn't want these, you know. I know if you need to have XY done you have to have a catheter, you have to have your limited in your mobility, whatever it is, and that for me personally didn't fit what I wanted for a birth and also just as me, you know, as a person I do tell people I'm pretty stubborn. So that's not, that's a piece of it, is that I just don't like it. Maybe, again, that's my background, but people like touching me, poking, prodding, intervening. I love educating and I loved educating my clients and patients about all the things. But when it comes to my own personal body I'm kind of like, yeah, just just minimal if possible.

Holly: 6:12

And so I kind of knew going into my first pregnancy and delivery experience that I really wanted as minimal as possible, within the safety, obviously, of myself and my baby. That was my approach. Again, I always, no matter what I've seen or heard, read labor and delivery reports, been in whatever, and especially I was also in graduate school. I was in a clinic or clinical with pediatrics. So then of course, you read a lot of labor and delivery reports and you read for every, again, every good delivery. That's the bad ones that stick out in your head.

Holly: 6:54

So I, unfortunately, was grappling with how I wanted to have a natural experience but also be in a hospital setting. That was my choice. I did want, especially where I was, where I worked, those were going to be the OBs who delivered me and I wanted to be personally in a hospital that had access to anesthesiology surgery, nicu. Again, I'm not saying everyone chooses or needs that. I had a very healthy pregnancy. But I really wanted to have access to those things to relieve my own anxiety and I we can get into that. But I had three pregnancies. Unfortunately, I was induced for two of them, but I still had the natural wonderful experiences that I hoped for.

Angela: 7:40

So you started care at the office that you were working at. So you were you working at that office then throughout your pregnancy.

Holly: 7:47

Yes, yep, yep, I was in graduate school and then intermittently I was still working, so I was very close, fortunate to know that. You know, the hard thing is that some OB practices have, say, like eight, nine, 10 OBs, and you, your OB, may not be the person who delivers you, and that's really hard. I was lucky that I knew them all anyway because I worked with them, so that was a blessing in a way, but I was again. I was also very lucky for my first delivery. The OB that was mine, she was coming on the next day, but my other OB that I was very close with I worked with him ended up delivering my first son. So it was all around. It ended up being very beautiful, even though I was induced for oligohydramnios, which is low fluid. So at 39 weeks and I did so I had to be induced and I was comfortable with that decision. I knew it was the right choice for us but unfortunately I was induced for my first. But it went as wonderful as one can expect, or what I, what I wanted.

Angela: 8:49

Yeah, oh, my goodness. So now tell me just a little bit more about your pregnancy and um. So, after you kind of established care there and started to go through your pregnancy, what kind of did you do ultrasounds, did you do any testing, and how are you feeling throughout your pregnancy?

Holly: 9:07

So, I yeah, I was actually still kind of quote unquote recovering from being diagnosed with celiac disease. So I unfortunately I wouldn't say I was unhealthy, but I was some of my smallest I've ever been, just from recovering from not be able to eat bread anymore and trying to figure out dietary things kind of catch up after being very sick. So I was blessed that I wasn't that sick in the beginning. I had drank a lot of electrolytes and didn't eat a whole lot, didn't have much of an appetite but didn't have any other children, and so I could sleep when I needed to. It was great. So I was blessed in that way.

Holly: 9:40

In terms of intervention, we did ultrasound in the beginning and I opted personally for genetic. I did not opt for genetic screening outside of what's called an AFP, which is a screening for neural tube defects, and because we have I do have someone in my family whose son was born with spina bifida and it was actually fixed in utero, which is wild. It's a crazy that they can do that now. But also I chose that route because talking with some sonographers and elevated AFP can also be linked to some issues with the placenta. So, in terms of genetic testing, what I always told people cause I'd always have patients or friends like what, what do you do, what do you recommend, what do you want to do? And I always told people you can never go by what I do you do, what do you recommend, what do you want to do? And I always told people you can never go by what I say, because what causes me anxiety may not be the same for what causes you anxiety. So if doing a genetic test is going to cause you anxiety or say I always said, if you did this genetic test and it came back abnormal, would you be in a way relieved that you caught it and you can kind of have more information, or would it cause you so much anxiety that you just didn't want to handle. You wouldn't know how to handle it. Obviously, none of us know until that truly would happen if that came back abnormal. But everyone is different. I chose that I didn't have a desire to do other genetic testing outside of this AFP and again, that was related more to also like family history and placenta issues just wanting to have that information. And if my child did have a neural tube defect, that is something I'd want to have the right people involved in my care and we also did do the 20-week screen, especially um for ultrasound, just making sure that, anatomically again, if there was something wrong with my baby, I wanted the right people available If I needed a heart surgeon or whatever it was.

Holly: 11:33

The rest of my pregnancy was pretty easy. Unfortunately I, the way my body is I'm five, eight and babies sit my baby sit really back in my pelvis. So I didn't. With my first baby I didn't truly show until I was like 36 weeks pregnant, which sounds I'm not bragging, just the way my body holds babies. I always was a little bit small but they would measure me and I was always incrementally growing until about 32. And they wanted to double check and make sure that baby size was okay because I was measuring very small and so I kind of avoided or not avoided but didn't need to do things until I had that 32 week ultrasound.

Holly: 12:17

And then I had my 36 week GBS swab and then you know you can opt for exams after that, after your 36 weeks. I opted not to do those because I wasn't contracting, or actually I found out later when I was in the hospital being induced that what I was experiencing was contractions. But I opted not to do them because I don't. I don't handle public exams well and it wouldn't. I wouldn't change anything. It wouldn't change the trajectory of what was going to happen next. It was my first baby so I really was hands off for most of my pregnancy but I was lucky to also feel well. I got that second trimester energy and same with the third trimester. I was really fortunate to feel well and have an overall healthy pregnancy Okay.

Angela: 13:04

So now tell me the you said you had some things come up in the end of your pregnancy, so kind of walk me through those last few days of your pregnancy leading up to your labor and birth.

Holly: 13:18

So I was 37 weeks pregnant and I remember, because my niece was born, I actually got severely sick with like a respiratory virus this is why people shouldn't show up to a holiday party with fever and cough and then give it to a pregnant woman. But I unfortunately got very sick and I think that was what led to me unfortunately having low fluid, what they call oligohydramnios. So when I showed up for my 39 week appointment I was measuring I hadn't grown in Gervly between my last appointment, so they did an ultrasound and again I had seen ultrasounds. I knew what we were looking for in that AFI, which is an amniotic fluid index. We're looking for what we call pockets of fluid and I knew right away those pockets weren't there and the the sonographer was excuse me, was wonderful, but I told her I was like I. I I knew those pockets weren't there and my fluid was low.

Holly: 14:12

And I remember coming back to have my, to see my OB in the office again. Then I worked and I was crying and I said to her she's retired now. But I said are you sending me over to the hospital for a C-section? And I was crying and she was. She said, and this woman was like half my height. She was so petite and so I could have picked her up and scooped her. She, she was a tiny little lady and she said no, holly, I'm not sending you for a C-section, but you do need to go over for monitoring. And and so my other the other doctor I was close with is the one on call, so I will let him know and you guys will kind of formulate a plan based on everything.

Holly: 14:48

So my husband and I were actually we had nothing with us. We were living an hour away from our hospital. So we got over to the hospital, my mom and my mother-in-law had to come and bring us food and bring us our suitcases. Luckily, the suitcases were packed and I had something called the Cervidil, which is essentially they insert a tampon into you and to start softening the cervix for induction.

Holly: 15:14

And that was about 1030 at night and I, my husband and I or I think it was inserted about nine, nine, thirty, and then sometime after 10 o'clock my husband and I did get some sleep before I went into labor about two. But I was on a monitor and the nurse was like do you feel that? And I said, yeah, that's. I get those a lot at night she's like well, those are picking up, those are contractions. So I was contracting, I did Emotionally it was a lot. It's not what I wanted to be induced. However, there was a part of me that knew my body was ready. Intuitively, there was something about. I just knew that my body was ready to do this.

Angela: 15:52

Wow so, and you were 39 weeks.

Holly: 16:01

Yep. So how did the rest of your labor unfold? I woke up at two and I said to my husband I remember kind of sitting up and going, oh, like, okay, that's a real one. And honestly I was trying to think about, okay, how'd this first labor go? And it was at 2 AM.

Holly: 16:11

I remember kind of getting up and wanting to start to pace and sit on a ball. And then I love the water and where, where I delivered, you can't do a water birth but they do have tubs and I love water and I thought it would be really comforting. So we got a tub started but I found I didn't really like that because it was slippery and I wanted to be more hands on, you know, hands and knees than um, sitting upright. I just couldn't get comfortable in the tub. So then I ended up getting out and I was my nurse was wonderful and she ended up staying with us for a lot of it and I paced a lot and did a lot on the birthing ball and I was on an ambulatory monitor. I had to be monitored because I had the cervidil and I, but it was great because I could walk around and I wasn't limited and at about I remember, at about 430, the I, my OB, came in to check on me and at that point I was six centimeters and I was, I think the cervidil had all or was starting to fall out. I don't, I can't remember, cause I remember saying to him can you take the cervidil out? And he said, well, it's doing its job, holly. So I really don't want to take it out. But I was starting to experience double contractions. So if you looked on a monitor it would go up and then, when it started to come down, it would go down about halfway and then go back up again. So it was like a double mound and I was starting to experience those and it was so intense that I think the cervidil was doing that. But I um, I actually it was.

Holly: 17:36

I found out with my second, it wasn't it's just my body, but I kind of begged him to take it out in a nice way and it's like it's really doing its job and you, you know baby was looking good. So I remember getting in the shower because, again, the water I loved the water, I think for me it's a pressure thing and just even now, when I'm sick or don't feel good, it's very comforting. So there's a bar in there and you could sit and I could stand and lean forward. So I was in the shower and then I needed to get on the toilet because I felt like I needed to use the bathroom and the nurse was like, okay, you can, but you can't push and just, you know, don't just sit. And I did and I sat and I almost passed out because I remember being able to hear, but not so much talk. So she I remember my husband and the nurse coming in and trying to get me to talk and I was kind of swaying a little bit and I was mumbling a little bit, but I do remember this and so they were like, can you stand? And I nodded and so they were able to shuffle me excuse me over to the bed and they got my feet up and by that time the OB had returned and my husband I learned this later but my husband turned to him and said do you really think she could be like 10 centimeters already?

Holly: 18:59

And he's like, well, he was the. I loved this OB, he's the calmest, most relaxed, like the best man. And he, he said I could remember him standing there with his arms crossed, talking to my husband and I didn't know what they were saying. But he was like, yeah, I mean, it's possible, but first baby not likely. And I remember looking up saying like I do need something, I need pain meds, I need something. And it happened also fast. But I did end up getting a shot in my leg of pain relief, but I didn't know I was. I wouldn't have done it had I known I was actually 10 centimeters. So he's like, all right, let's get on the bed and see where you are.

Holly: 19:36

And then I was ready to push. So I do consider an unmedicated delivery because by that time the medicine was not in my system. But I actually would have declined it had I had I known I I think everything that they were all just so surprised that everything progressed so quickly that um, by it was like seven o'clock by then and 20 minutes and he was delivered. So it was quite a fast when I would consider delivery and she and my OB that I loved, he, he did deliver me.

Holly: 20:05

And then my actual doctor came in after they. That was like right around the time they usually switch. And she came in and she's like I thought I'd be delivering this baby this morning and I felt she was actually disappointed because she was going to be retiring. So it was. It was kind of sad in a way, but it worked out for the best that it was. I could have had the best of both worlds, so it was. I did have this kind of not precipitous necessarily, but it was a an optimum situation for being induced. But again, I also felt that my body was ready. I didn't need any other intervention. I didn't need Pitocin, which was not something I wanted anyway. So as much as someone who doesn't like to be poked and prodded and leave me alone, it was optimum for what I could have, could have wanted for an induced delivery.

Angela: 20:51

Yeah, oh, my goodness. And also like you said at that point when you asked for the pain medicine, that's like the most intense part. Yes, oh yeah.

Holly: 21:01

Yeah, it was 10 centimeters and I was also like, did I almost pass out? I think I was passing out, almost like a vagal response from going to the bathroom, but then I think he probably descended. I mean, I think actually I was checked at six o'clock and I was like six or seven, maybe it was six o'clock, it was six or seven, and then I went to 10 very quickly within that hour. So I think it was just a quick. He transcended so quickly that was a lot of my body. I didn't have any pain. So altogether I think I was.

Holly: 21:31

It was intense. But again, I wish I kind of would have known. I didn't think I needed that pain medicine because had I known I would be pushing anyway. And I actually enjoyed pushing with my first because I felt like it was productive, like during the contraction you feel like you're actually able to do something with it, versus just like waiting it out and heavy breathing. And I almost bit my husband. That's always my favorite part to tell people too. I remember trying to bite him at one point and he'll tell you that too. So it felt like something productive I could do while it was in pain.

Angela: 22:04

Yeah, oh my goodness. So how was your placenta born, and was that just immediately after?

Holly: 22:10

Yeah, it was within. It was definitely pretty quick after, so I had no issues with that, fortunately. Yeah, no issues.

Angela: 22:19

Awesome, and how was your postpartum time?

Holly: 22:23

Immediately postpartum was great. We my son was born during an ice storm and I really didn't want a lot of visitors other than our parents after and then in my sister, but it was kind of nice because it was an ice storm, so people were a little bit delayed. My husband and I just really wanted like that private time and I could go on and on about our experience with lactation, but I, it was truly wonderful with lactation, but I, it was truly wonderful. I was skin to skin with him for pretty much the whole time. Or my husband there was, I believe, a football or hockey game on that, so he was what you know. My husband was happy to just have do some skin to skin time and relax. I will say it was that one thing that women aren't necessarily prepared for, or what we're not prepared for as much is that pelvic lower discomfort and how quote unquote normal it is and it's, but it's a new experience.

Holly: 23:17

I with my second and third deliveries I kind of expect, knew what to expect, but also I'd had the cervidil, so that all that also kind of made some for some different sensations compared to my, to my other delivery. But I definitely I didn't really want to do a whole lot of meds. I did ibuprofen, but not really like a Tylenol. I didn't see any change with that anyway. But I did keep up with the ibuprofen for anti-inflammatory effect and I was pretty sore and my blood pressure runs pretty low to begin with. So they were pretty nervous about my blood pressure because it was dropped even more. But I told them my blood pressure is low to begin with so I was comfortable and I was okay. But I had almost passed out so I was definitely pushing the fluids because I was ravenous by then. I was so hungry, so thirsty and I really remember from the hospital just saying like I want to get out of here.

Holly: 24:12

I remember when the doctor came back to see me postpartum before she left, she's like how are you doing? And I said honestly, everything's great, I just want to go home. And she's like I know for most women this is your first time being in a hospital is when you give birth. And I had never broken a bone, I had never been under, I've never really been in a hospital. So I was ready to just go home and I knew I would sleep better, no one would be poking and prodding at me and I think when it comes to like overnight interventions and people knocking on your door and doing the blood pressure cuffs and things like that, I always see these funny things on social media about nurses and coming or coming in and doing the vitals on the baby and then on you, and how overwhelming it is.

Holly: 25:00

But I always was just vocal about things and said like, what I wanted and what I didn't, or can we do it all together? And my wishes were always well-respected. And so I always feel like when I see these things, I hope women have the power and families have the power to just step in and say can this all be done at once, so that way we can get a four-hour break, unless I call to you. I was fortunate and maybe people will say it's because, well, maybe in your chart it was noted that you're a nurse, and I'm very honest with people. Usually when nurses come in and come, I'll be like look, I'm a nurse too. So you, as you know, like nurse to nurse, like we don't like to be bothered, and that's just kind of how we are. We're tend to be quite stubborn when it comes to our own health, but it's okay to say like let's do as much as we can so I can get this four hour break because it is right. They come knocking at the door and they're like would you like to talk about birth control? It's like 2am and you're you know half a week so. But it's always okay to be clear and be respectful and I think that's the piece that's missed sometimes in social media and different things is that there's a way to do things very respectfully and say I know you have a job to do, they have charting, they have things they have to accomplish and they have to do legally. But it's also okay to say how much can we do? So that way I can get like the largest break and you can put something on the door that says like, do not disturb, I wasn't going to use the nursery, we were just getting to see everything was going. Okay, I will track. My husband will track diapers and will and poops and like they put something up in the wall that you can do that yourselves and will track feeds. And I was going to see an osteopath for some issues with some latch, but they have an osteopath right in the hospital that does the OMT work, which is amazing. But we can track all that we got all this and other than that, leave us alone, and in a very nice way, in a nice, respectful way, and so that was great. And we did go home. So he was born at seven, like seven, 30 in the morning, and we went home the next day after he had some of his pokes and prods that are necessary before he leaves. But, um, we were home by, you know, early afternoon the next day and it was wonderful.

Holly: 27:04

And going forward, postpartum, I feel like I could have a whole conversation about this, but mentally it was quite the struggle. I went, I had some of the blues, but I did struggle later with postpartum depression. A lot of that, I think, was nutrient, mineral wise. I was very depleted from having a stress. Before pregnancy I was diagnosed with celiac, so I was my smallest I'd ever been after being very sick and didn't really get a whole lot of support and education on how I needed to replenish myself, and especially during pregnancy and postpartum. So there were a lot of. We were graduating from school, we didn't know where we'd be. There was a, there were a lot of pieces that caused a lot of stress. That I think contributed to that. Um, but overall I was blessed with a a lot of support that I think contributed to that, but overall I was blessed with a lot of support around me that helped in my postpartum transition.

Angela: 27:55

Yeah, yeah, and I think that's a great point that you make about just advocating for what you want and there's no need to be hostile about it.

Holly: 28:20

It's just being this is what we want, and sometimes you don't know what you want, and I think that's OK. But I think oftentimes too, when it comes to whether or not you want intervention or pain medicine or any of these things, it's understanding that birth overall, and pregnancy and even postpartum and having children is there are hard decisions you're just going to have to make and some of those decisions each one has risks and benefits and ultimately you don't know. I guess, quote unquote that you're making the best decision, you're trying to make the best decision. You can wear yourself and your baby and you just have to be behind that. Whatever it is and you don't necessarily.

Holly: 29:00

I know a lot of people will say well, you were a nurse and you knew things and you're in the. You know, you knew all that information, but sometimes it was just a matter of like, I don't, I don't want to do this because I don't want to. It's not. You know, I knew why I didn't want Pitocin and I knew all the science behind it, but it didn't matter about the science. For me it was.

Holly: 29:24

I believe birth is a natural experience and that my body will do what it needs and that there are other things that I can do to get things going outside of Pitocin, and especially in my third I had to be induced as well and it was the same deal.

Holly: 29:33

And I was talking to the nurse and she was talking about well, we've had these protocols where people use a pump instead and so the nurses are educated on these things as well, and she was like you know, some people don't like to do that, but there is protocol. So a lot of if you are desiring a hospital birth, it's not, I think, as scary as it always maybe is put out there to be, and I am for a healthy woman having a home birth or a water birth or whatever they want, as long as they understand the risks and benefits and they're healthy and baby's healthy, et cetera. But I think you can also just be an advocate for yourself and understanding some of your values around birth and postpartum and family or whatever it is. You have to understand those values in order to advocate for yourself.

Angela: 30:20

Yeah, absolutely Everyone's different and safety looks different to everybody. And wherever you feel the safest is most likely where you're going to have the easiest time birthing your baby. So, yeah, really just having that choice is really important.

Holly: 30:40

Yeah, it's definitely an important thing and I mentioned I think it's an email to you Every birth was different for me, but my second was born very precipitously and I went from being like one centimeter to the next day, went into labor and he was born. My goodness, in my head I think it was two hours, two and a half hours later. So I went I, my body does really take over. I almost gave birth in my truck on the side of the highway, so it was very precipitous. And then so with my third I may have I did make a really hard decision to be induced post, post-term, or post dates would they call it, are after my estimated and I go back and forth on whether I made the right decision.

Holly: 31:22

But there was a lot of anxiety on my husband's part, of like. We were an hour away from the hospital and he has a lot of anxiety about birth in general and I don't, but he has more anxiety about birth than I do and we were an hour away. So the doctors, I think, were a little nervous that I wouldn't make it and I'd end up giving birth at home, which probably would have been the case if I was home, because it happened again Once I was induced and things got started. It happened so quickly that everyone was kind of like, wow, this is happening really fast. But that's how my body apparently likes to get it done, do the double contractions? But I think really just again understanding our bodies and having faith in our bodies and listening to them and again being an advocate for yourself, of what you, what feels best to you and that can be completely different for every woman woman, and that's okay.

Angela: 32:17

Yes, yes, that's very well said, so, oh my goodness. So how soon after you had your first baby did you graduate?

Holly: 32:25

He was born in January and I graduated in May. My husband and I both did graduate in May, so it was quite the whirlwind. I actually had to go back to clinical two weeks after he was delivered. So it was a lot. Again, that's where some of the emotion and the stress the postpartum kind of came in, because physically I did, I was okay to go back at two weeks. It wasn't the optimum situation. I did have some pelvic floor issues that I think need to be addressed later, which which I think happened. To go back two weeks postpartum didn't help, but I did. I was blessed with a very good milk supply and did a lot of pumping Um when I was at my clinicals and, given a lot of, I had to go back, bring them to school, sometimes with me, had to bring them to classes. There was that flexibility there. Again, I have my my mom was helpful and my grandmother watching the baby a lot while I was finishing up Um.

Angela: 33:14

But yeah, we were in the midst of all this, trying to figure out many pieces of our life yeah, we were in the midst of all this trying to figure out many pieces of our life, yeah, so now can you tell me about when you found out you were pregnant with your second child and sort of your thoughts and choosing your care that time around?

Holly: 33:30

So yeah, so I found out when I was about nine months my first child was nine months old found out I was pregnant with my second and a lot of the heavy emotions there because my nine month old had just started to sleep. So it was a lot to like. I was starting my job and finding out I was pregnant again and I did stay with the same place. I wasn't working there anymore, but it was again my comfort. My OB had retired but then I was switching to some. The one who had delivered my first son, who I was very close with and um always respected what I said and how I wanted my birth to go, and um, we decided to stay with the same place, even though it increased travel, just because that's where my comfort was.

Angela: 34:13

Yeah, so how were things looking for you during that pregnancy? Were you feeling different?

Holly: 34:18

Yeah, it was. I was more sick. I definitely was more sick in the beginning, but it's also different because now you have a toddler or a baby in a toddler age running around, right, so you're more tired, you're more sick, but you also don't get to rest as much. So that first, first 12 weeks I was quite miserable but unfortunately it did reduce, it did get better and I never got a lot of that energy back. But it was so different, right, because now I have a toddler to care for, but I definitely the pregnancy, everything was pretty much the same. I was blessed in that way.

Holly: 34:53

And again, measuring a little small they wanted at 32 weeks I had my growth ultrasounds and but I really followed everything the same. Yeah, there was really not not much to report that I can remember. And he on his due date. I had a visit with my OB and they wanted to do an ultrasound because, again, my, my belly is just always kind of measured on the smaller side and I had that history of all ago. But that's not usually something that happens again in a pregnancy necessarily, and they tried to do an exam and I'm not great with them. But he's like, even if you are dilated, it's maybe one centimeter and my ultrasound looked good and I had started to have some contractions, but nothing. Crazy, cause I knew what contractions truly were. I will say I think I'm one of these people that handles those pretty like, uh, what I would consider mild contractions of early or um signs of labor pretty well. I kind of look at them as like uncomfortable, you know, uncomfortable but crampy.

Holly: 35:53

But then the next morning I woke up at I remember, cause I ranced right up onto my feet. It was 4 AM, about 4 AM, 425. I think, if I remember correctly, and that's when my labor started. I went downstairs, my husband came down and I called my mom and he's getting kind of everything ready to go, and I'm on the ball and she shows up and I'm like I started crying when I saw my mom because I knew, like I knew where this was going to go. I knew what the pain was going to be like. It's different the second time, cause the anxiety is almost like this is just the beginning, right.

Holly: 36:26

And so we get in the truck and my I uh, it was before morning traffic and we had an hour ride and there was a red light and I said, go, like I knew some and we got to where on a if you were driving within the speed limit, this was in the summertime at least, so there's no winter storm but we got to where it would have been about 40 minutes. And I said you need to call the hospital and let them know we're coming in hot. And so he called 911 and let them know we were coming. I remember the exit we still get a little like panic when we go by it and we were coming into like the morning traffic and she said, well, do you need us to send someone? Because my, I, my water had broke and I thought then we'd be like on the news for delivering a baby on the side of the highway. And, um, he said no. And she said, well, you're telling me you're speeding. And he said, well, very much so. And he said no. And she said, well, you're telling me you're speeding. And he said, well, very much so. And she said, okay, I'll let them know you're coming in.

Holly: 37:28

And we made it to the hospital, went to the ED. I still remember the lady at the desk of the emergency department tells me don't push in a seat. And I'm like, are you kidding? I didn't even want to get out of the truck. I wanted to just be delivered in the truck and the, the resident who met me at the um elevator, was wonderful.

Holly: 37:45

She's like really quick. Like, is this first baby? No, oh, second, yes, water broke it. Did it smell Okay, did it look okay, yes, got me into bed and everyone was kind of like, oh, is this really, you know, really happening? Because you called at 430. And I think at this time it was six or 630.

Holly: 38:04

And and I, the OB, they knew me again. So she walks in, she goes I didn't even know you were pregnant again. And she said, yeah, again, second baby, yes, food looked OK. When my water broke, et cetera. To get up in the bed, and they're like, oh, yep, he there. When my water broke, et cetera. To get up in the bed, and they're like, oh, yep, he there, he's ready to come. And I pushed once and then the doctor said Holly, his heart rate doesn't look good, you need to get them out now. And I did two pushes. I had to get them out or that second push. I had to get them out and I did, but he was again ready. I think when I was in the car I was doing some breaths to not deliver in the car. I was pushing just enough to get some relief, but not enough to like actively push him out in the truck. So he was ready, he was descended, everything was, but that was what we would call precipitous delivery.

Angela: 38:55

For sure, oh my goodness, that is incredible. So how was your like immediate postpartum and then when you went home with him and how it was feeding and honestly, so I breastfed all of my babies.

Holly: 39:09

I each have their own experiences but I would need we should do a follow up all about feeding, because I love talking about breast breastfeeding but they all had their unique challenges. And my second is really the one who I could give you so much about like breastfeeding. He had tongue tie reflux, what they'd call colic. That would again be such a long conversation. So I feed again each baby.

Holly: 39:36

In terms of feeding and postpartum and everything was pretty similar. I was lucky in that sense, I will say, because I wasn't induced. Pelvic floor wise, I was better. Second, I dealt with a lot of anxiety because of his medical issues but my mood was better. But everything for him actually felt to rebound pretty quick with my body, other than my back was not in good shape and I had to see an osteopath for some muscle issue because I labored in the truck and I still have like sacral pain and things he's like that's not ever going away. You labored in the front of your vehicle but I did have some issues there. But postpartum was, overall I would say, the same really for each baby and I was very mindful about like hydration and food and putting my feet up when I can and those types of things each baby to whenever I could anyway.

Angela: 40:29

Yeah. So now tell me a little bit about when you found out you were pregnant for the third time now and your thoughts and choosing. Was it sort of the same thing for the third and your thoughts in choosing.

Holly: 40:41

Was it sort of the same thing for the third? It really was. We went back and forth, my husband and I, because we were an hour away. And so the question was, with a precipitous delivery and all of the where I was for my OB practice, they were a little pushy of not pushy, their high intervention, which I understood why I was there. So I, I, I know why they were high intervention. And so there was talk about doing um, an induced delivery, for concern that I would not make it to the hospital in time with how precipitous.

Holly: 41:06

My second was Um, but I was open with them. If that's not what I wanted and I'll know, you know, if my body's ready, I can at least read. And it was pretty much like first contraction, get here and go Um. And I knew that would have to be the case because clearly I go very fast. But it was this. I was most comfortable again with those OBs at that doctor's office, at that hospital. That's where all of my comfort was. So pregnancy was again, I would say, status quo. Everything was pretty the standard and I was induced. I went the same route with a cervidil because that's what I had successfully the first time and I was um, uh, I, I. Things were a little bit slower to get going, but once they went they went fast and he was born, um, within I think. Once things started to really kick in high gear it was like an hour, so it was again pretty precipitous and fast, but I was still blessed with not needing some of the other interventions that are usually there.

Angela: 42:12

Yeah, so did they induce you because you were so far away? Is that what you guys kind of ended up deciding on, or was there another something else going on?

Holly: 42:20

Yeah. So unfortunately, I was put. I had felt this constant pain and pressure like I was getting ready to go but it was not quite going and I was having a lot of contractions, but nothing that was severe enough for me to say, oh, this is labor. And so I kind of my husband had this really big fear and that work. He was always like I'm just going to get that call from my wife and she's going to deliver at home. And I went back and forth and I cried when I was being induced of like am I making the right decision? Cause I am very like hands off with the body, do its own thing.

Holly: 42:53

But you know what, in that situation it ended up being okay. I didn't need further intervention after that. I tried to make the best decision I could for my family and for myself and it ended up being what I needed. And I go again. I could go back and forth and people could fight about different things. That I understand, like I probably should have let my body just be. But I also wonder if he was like sitting solo in my pelvis for so long and he really just needed that little push to get out, why was he just not wanting to come out, who knows? But he did have some, like you could tell from the shape of his head. He was lodged pretty low for quite a while. He had a lot of body tension. We see osteopaths for those things. So all of the factors together said to me we did make a good decision. It's just still hard sometimes to accept.

Angela: 43:43

Yeah, and again it's those decisions are out there. You know that you get to like informed consent is really right, like the biggest thing. You know what you're doing, you're able to make that decision. There's no right or wrong decision, really Like there's just decisions. So right, right, yeah. So now, as a final question, if you were to give advice to someone who's expecting, or even new parents, what would be the biggest thing that you would say?

Holly: 44:11

If you're preparing, if you've never had a birth or you're preparing for another birth or whatever it is. I think just being very clear of what you want and understanding you can be flexible with that, you can change your mind anytime you want. It is not set in stone. There is no plan that can be placed that's going to be perfect. But having yourself kind of understand and sit with what your choices are and being comfortable with whatever those choices are and understanding your needs and those can be flexible and those can change.

Holly: 44:39

And just being clear with those values, also with your partner, so that they can communicate for you when maybe you're experiencing like a lot of pain or whatever it is. I think that's really important to understand. And also just that birth, pregnancy, postpartum, having children there are just hard decisions and there's no sometimes there is no right or wrong. It's just understanding that every decision is hard and there's no, sometimes there is no right or wrong. It's just understanding that every decision is hard and it's difficult and you'd make the best decision that you can with the information that you have.

Angela: 45:09

Yes, yeah, I totally agree, and thank you so much, Holly. It's just been a pleasure talking with you.

Holly: 45:16

Yeah, thank you so much.

Angela: 45:19

And that's the end of another episode of the my Main Birth podcast. Thank you for joining me and listening. If you're looking to document your birth story or if you're interested in doula support for your upcoming birth, head over to my website, mymainbirthcom and check out my packages. I am a certified professional birth photographer and an experienced doula, and I offer in-person services to families throughout the state of Maine, as well as virtual birth coaching worldwide. I want to invite you to grab my top free resource for newly pregnant moms.

Angela: 45:59

It's called 37 questions to ask your care provider whether you've already established care or if you're in the process of interviewing new providers. This is for you. Not only are you going to get the questions to ask, but I also share how to assess their answers and the major red flags that you should be looking for. Assess their answers and the major red flags that you should be looking for, so go grab that. It's at mymainbirthcom slash download. Thank you again for tuning in and I look forward to bringing you more amazing birth stories. Don't forget to subscribe and leave me a review, and I'll see you back here again next week.