57. My Maine Birth: Shelby’s 3 Birth Stories at EMMC in Bangor, maine
Shelby: 0:00
I was on birth control and we got it removed right before our wedding because we knew we wanted one more before we were done. We started in April and we ended up. It was October at this point and my husband that morning he was like I'm going to go hunting. I was like you, better not because I'm going to test today. And he's like we've been trying for six months now today. And he's like we, we've been trying for six months now. If it happens during hunting season, that's not my fault.
Shelby: 0:28
And of course, I tested that morning and I was pregnant and I didn't end up telling him till later that afternoon. He just assumed that it was negative, since I didn't make a big deal about it when he got home. Um, so I gave him a little gift out of the kid's sight and he had opened it and he was so excited. It's like my favorite memory of him opening that gift and us actually trying for a kid and being married, and you know it almost seemed perfect. You know where the other ones were surprises. They weren't planned. They, though. We love them just the same. It wasn't as exciting as of an experience as actually trying for months on end and finally getting pregnant.
Angela: 1:09
I'm Angela and you're listening to my Maine Birth, a space where we share the real life stories of families and their unique birth experiences in the beautiful state of Maine. From our state's biggest hospitals to birth center births and home births, every birth story deserves to be heard and celebrated. From the first feelings of pregnancy to the first cry of your newborn, we explore the journey of childbirth in all of its beauty, intensity and emotion. Whether you're a soon-to-be mom, a seasoned mother or simply interested in the world of birth, these episodes are for you. As part of my commitment to capturing these incredible moments, I'm proud to offer my birth photography services to families throughout Maine. As an experienced photographer, I'm dedicated to capturing the beauty and emotion of this special moment in your life. For all of the information, head over to MyMainePhotocom and fill out the contact form to schedule a call with me. Now sit back, relax and join me as we dive into the world of childbirth in Maine and discover the joy, strength and love that is at the heart of every birth story.
Angela: 2:24
Today's birth story guest is Shelby, and she shares all about her three experiences birthing at Northern Lights Eastern Maine Medical Center in Bangor. Hi, shelby, welcome to my Maine Birth. Hello. So to get started, will you share a little bit about you and your family?
Shelby: 2:44
So I have five kids. I have three biological children and two bonus. They all live with us full time and I met my husband back in 2008 and we got married in 2022. Awesome.
Angela: 2:59
So can you tell me a little bit about the first time that you found out you were pregnant and your thoughts in choosing your care?
Shelby: 3:06
So my first experience, I was pretty young, I just turned 19, and we weren't trying. It was she was a surprise baby. My husband actually is the one who found the pregnancy test. After I took it, I set it aside, I went to go take a shower and he's like have you seen this? I was like, no, why? Uh, but we were at, we were excited enough anyway. Um, and it was hard. From there, we went to the ER first, cause I didn't know what to do, Um, so I went to the ER. We got a ultrasound done to see how far along I was, and then they were. They kind of told me what to do from there, which was I had no idea, um, so we called um. The hospital was actually connected to uh, it was Eastern, it was Northern lights, um, so they were connected to women's health. So we just called them from there and got appointments set up.
Angela: 4:06
For you know, months later, yeah, so how was that pregnancy Was it? Did you do any testing or how did that kind of look for you?
Shelby: 4:17
So I had gestational diabetes but it was controlled and cause I was off by one point. If you know the system, you take three tests and one of my tests every hour. And then one of my tests was off by a point and so my doctor's like I'm not worried about it, but it was technically gestational so they had to keep that in mind. But other than that she was a really easy birth, really easy process. My doctors kept calling me vanilla. We had no real issues my first time around, which was nice so, and then, how was your postpartum?
Shelby: 4:56
um, again it was. It was pretty simple. I went and lived with my parents for two months just to kind of get the extra help, and so we stayed with them for two months before I moved back into our apartment. But she was a really easy baby.
Angela: 5:14
Yeah, she was just really easy so actually just to back up for just one minute. So when, um, during her birth experience, how did that look for?
Shelby: 5:23
you. So we, you know time around went to the hospital for every night for a week up to her birth date. And so we, finally we went in around 2 am and they're like you're actually in labor, but you're only four centimeters dilated, so we suggest you go home. We lived an hour away from the hospital and so going home just wasn't quite what we needed to do, because I figured if we went home we'd be in trouble. So we actually went and walked around Wal-Mart for several hours because by the time we got let go released, wal-mart was open. So we walked around Wal-Mart for several hours. I had a lady stop me and be like do you need an ambulance? My husband's like no, she's just in labor, we're just trying to speed it up. We went back to the hospital about two hours later and they tried to send us home again without checking. They're like we, there's, there's no way you're dilated enough. And so they ended up admitting me because of like I was convinced and I ended up being seven centimeters dilated at that point. And so, for a first time, mom, they were really surprised of how fast that went. I did get an epidural. It was easy, it was a one time thing, like a one try thing, and she came a few hours later, I think two o'clock that afternoon. And she came a few hours later, I think two o'clock that afternoon. But yeah, she was just really easy all the way around birth I pushed for 15 minutes max and our aftercare.
Shelby: 7:00
We stayed for three days and they told us they wanted us to see a counselor because we weren't technically married. Well, we weren't married, not technically. They wanted us to see a counselor, but counselor wasn't in till Monday and I had her on Friday and so they had to stay till Sunday and the nurse comes in and she goes. I'm gonna release you because you've had enough people come in and out of here that we understand that you have enough support at home. Like we're not questioning whether this child is safe or not at this point, so you're good to go. I thought it was wild. I never realized that they did that for unmarried couples Wanted them to see a counselor. But yeah, we ended up going home after three days, but we could have gone home the next day.
Angela: 7:43
Yeah, well, I've never heard of that either. That's interesting. So, and what year was this? Three days, but we could have gone home the next day? Yeah, wow, I've never heard of that either. That's interesting. So, and what year was this? Just out of curiosity, this was 2019. Yeah, okay. So now tell me a little bit about when you found out you were pregnant for the second time and your thoughts in choosing your care this time around.
Shelby: 8:03
So the second time we actually saw the same doctor, she was a little different and my husband and I actually were looking at splitting up. So that I mean might trail into my last postpartum experience just because we were struggling. You know they say that first year is really hard on a relationship, and so I was six months postpartum when I got pregnant with her by accident. We were not, we were looking at separating and then I ended up getting pregnant, not realizing it. I'd been on birth control. She was definitely not expected and at that point I was like we're gonna. We're gonna try this again, we're not going to split up, we're going to see this birth through and then go from there. Because I did not want to be a single mom of two kids at that point and I'm really glad we did, because we have a great relationship now. I'm glad that we saw that first year through.
Shelby: 9:01
My husband now had a poor relationship before us and he ended up. He has full custody of his children. She doesn't see them or anything. So he was concerned with getting married again and going through all of that again and it not working out is how he's explained it to me when I asked why we didn't get married right away. And then he's like I wasn't expecting to have more kids than that first one with you because I was worried that it would just all fall apart again like it had in the past. And now we're as strong as ever, we've got a house and we have all the kids and it's great.
Shelby: 9:41
But it was definitely a fear. My first pregnancy I was sick 24, seven. And so the second one I wasn't sick at all and so we swore up and down we're going to have another, we're going to have a boy this time. Because of that I wasn't sick, like I just assumed. You know old wives tales that it was true and we ended up having another girl. She had a pretty easy. She didn't have gestational diabetes. There was nothing wrong with her until three weeks up to her due date. Her fluid was really low and so we ended up getting induced three weeks early. She was due October and we had her in September and I ended up getting the epidural with her. But it took us over two hours to get the needle placed. That was really rough and pretty scary, to the point that I had a lot of anxiety about it this time around that morning we had our ultrasound at 9am and that's when they had the doctor on call come in and be like, look, we really need to induce you today because your fluids are low. So we went up, my husband went home and got all of our stuff because three weeks early we weren't expecting that and they didn't end up starting to induce us until around noon, maybe one in the afternoon that day. They gave me an oral medication and then they started oh, I'm gonna forget the name of the medic the pitocin. Oh, sin, yes, okay, and then they started me off with Potosin. After that, her labor, I think it took about 12 hours of from start to finish.
Shelby: 11:35
I did not have a balloon and I had a nurse come in and be like, look, if they offer you a balloon, deny it. She goes. I had a balloon, don't do it. They hurt, there's not a lot of effectiveness, like some people it's great and then. But I found that a lot of people it just doesn't work. She's like so if you can deny, deny, deny the balloon because it's just a lot of pain and you can't have the epidural that early on. And I actually had a friend who I told her the same thing and she ended up getting the balloon and she's like you're still right, it didn't dilate me at all, but so she wasn't. I wasn't in a lot of pain until I was like set until they burst my water at four centimeters. And my doctor did that with a needle, like a little thread hook, to try and progress me further, and then I just kind of progressed from there.
Shelby: 12:28
I my husband, was very did, very good at being a support person, which I'm very grateful for. He uh speak up for me when I needed him to um, and would stand next to me for hours and just hold my hand. I don't understand how he just stood there for so long, but he was a really great support person. I was. I was really lucky to have him. Yeah, so they.
Shelby: 12:53
So then I got my epidural between four and six centimeters. I had to wait for someone and he came in and tried for a few hours to get it placed and at that point I was bawling and shaking and I had my husband and two nurses trying to hold me down to get it done. And that poor guy, he's like I was supposed to clock out. He came into my room. He's like I was supposed to clock out. He came into my room he's like I was supposed to clock out by now, but they have a long list, so I'm just going to get this last one done before I leave and then it took him two hours to get it done.
Shelby: 13:21
I felt really guilty. Oh geez, yeah. So my back was bruised. It hurt to touch it. That's the most pain. I mean the birth part wasn wasn't even painful, it was the pain in my back and it lasted for a year, year and a half. If I sat right, if the kids kicked my back when they're sitting behind me, it would just shoot pain up my spine. So I uh, yeah, but I mean other than that, she came out fairly quick. I think she was five minutes pushing. Um wasn't painful.
Angela: 13:52
Yeah, do you think the epidural worked once they finally did get it in, or was it kind of like still kind of not just a great place, or something?
Shelby: 14:01
um, it did work. I I think I, if I could do it again, I'd do it without it, because the epidural pain especially after having my last one without an epidural, the epidural pain was way worse than the actual birth experience. Then it lasts a lot longer.
Angela: 14:18
So how was your postpartum time Then the second time around?
Shelby: 14:23
it was good. We were trying very hard to make sure my youngest, my oldest, wasn't jealous of her sister. That was a big point that we tried to make. Um, they're 14 months apart, so we did a lot with them together, made sure. You know, I feel like I didn't bond as much with her as I did my oldest, because I was trying to make my oldest more comfortable.
Shelby: 14:51
I didn't want to be holding the baby all the time because I didn't want my oldest to think that I was picking the baby over her and she couldn't breastfeed. So she came out so fast that she bruised her face, hitting my tailbone, and so she couldn't latch. So we didn't breastfeed. Um, she took a bottle, like straight away, and the nurses were apologizing up and down. Um, because of it they felt bad, because I felt bad. I wanted to be able to breastfeed and she just couldn't. And they're like we can try to give her a formula through a syringe until, you like she, the bruising's gone. At that point I was like we got to do what's best for the baby, you know, and obviously eating is more important than what I want and my self-esteem so can you tell me a little bit more about her bruise?
Shelby: 15:47
so when she first came out, they tried to take her to the NICU because of her bruising. I thought she wasn't breathing and so I was freaking out about it because all I could hear was NICU mentioned and my doctor's trying to get me to deliver my placenta and I'm listening to them deal with her, and they didn't lay her right on my chest, which freaked me out. I'd had a baby before. I knew that something must've been wrong. My nurse cause I was freaking out had convinced them to let me at least hold her for a second and then they were like she was breathing. Obviously Her oxygen level was okay and they're like we think it's just a bruise, but her whole face was purple, her lips were swollen and they didn't really tell me much more. They watched extra for jaundice because of it, but she didn't have any jaundice or other issues. It's just she couldn't open her mouth enough to try and latch. She wasn't interested that she'd hit my tailbone because she was face down when she came out and that's where the bruise came from.
Angela: 16:53
Now, how was your sort of recovery after that? Then at home, like postpartum?
Shelby: 16:58
It was okay. It was like the same. I didn't have postpartum depression. We went in after six weeks and got checked and everything seemed all right. Her bruising went away. It was probably three weeks until her bruise was fully gone. With her we only had to stay in the hospital for 36 hours because we had her in the middle of the night. So she was again really easy and I've been pretty lucky. I've had easy babies per se. They don't just cry to cry, which I know can be a challenge for some moms with, especially right when you get home. They just seem to cry all the time and ours luckily just didn't.
Angela: 17:44
So now, what will you share about when you found out you were pregnant this last time, for the third time, and your thoughts in choosing your care for the third time?
Shelby: 17:55
and your thoughts in choosing your care. So our last baby was planned. I had I was on birth control, a different type than the one I got pregnant on and we got it removed right before our wedding, cause we knew we wanted one more before we were done. We started in April and we ended up. It was October at this point and my husband that morning he was like I'm going to go hunting. I was like you, better not, cause I'm going to test today. And he's like we. We've been trying for six months now. If it happens during hunting season, that's not my fault.
Shelby: 18:27
And of course I tested that morning and I was pregnant and I didn't end up telling him till later that afternoon. He just assumed that it was negative, since I didn't make a big deal about it when he got home. So I gave him a little gift out of the kid's sight and he had opened it and he was so excited. It's like my favorite memory of him opening that gift and us actually trying for a kid and being married and you know it almost seemed perfect. You know where the other ones were surprises. They weren't plans. They though we love them just the same.
Shelby: 19:01
It wasn't as exciting as of an experience as actually trying for months on end and finally getting pregnant. So I called the office, I gave them, you know, times and days and it's 12 to 14 weeks out till you can get an ultrasound and get your first appointment. So it's biting nails between that time of you know, wanting to know your child's healthy and not being able to do anything about it. But it was a very happy time for us and we actually we went to his parents that day and just kept it between the two of us. We didn't tell them until Thanksgiving, which was a couple of months later.
Angela: 19:41
That's so exciting, oh my goodness. So now, how was that pregnancy for you? And like, what kind of tests did you do throughout of tests did you do throughout?
Shelby: 19:53
So with this pregnancy I had gestational diabetes. It was a little bit more severe, but still I didn't need medication. I just had to watch what I ate. All of my other testing went well. My blood pressure was always good, but he was breach my whole pregnancy, which was a concern. We were getting ready to set up a C-section, which I was scared about having four kids at home to take care of. I was so nervous about having a C-section and not having the help at home that I would need after care. But so I was because of the gestational diabetes.
Shelby: 20:31
After a certain point you have to have appointments every week, which was hard in and of itself because my husband had to go to work and we had four kids and finding babysitters and all that. We don't live around a lot of family. His family lives three hours South and mine live 10 hours South, so we didn't have that help that some people do receive um. So he had to call out of work a decent amount. We ended up finding a babysitter for our younger two. But my last appointment my daughter freaked out, did not want to go to the babysitter, didn't want to be near her um, so we kept him home. I was like she's that uncomfortable even if the babysitter did nothing wrong, I'm not gonna make her go to their house, um, and my I would on June 12th.
Shelby: 21:25
So my last ultrasound appointment, um, he had flipped. So my c-section was planned for the 14th and the baby had flipped on the 12th. And so my doctor is like we want to get you induced as soon as possible so he doesn't flip again, because if he can flip this late in the game, he could do it again. And that was I mean. I was excited. I was ecstatic that he had flipped to begin with, because I was so nervous about c-section and how that was going to work with all the kids and we'd set up a bed for me in our living room so I wasn't trying to get out of our bed, which is like a foot off the floor, but yeah, wow, so, yeah, so tell me about that then.
Angela: 22:10
So did they kind of take you straight from the ultrasound appointment to like, okay, you need to go right up to leave your delivery now. Or were they like what did that go for you?
Shelby: 22:20
um. So my doctor tried to do that. He had me stay in the office for a while and he was like they just don't have enough beds so they had me wait by the phone. They're like we will call you when we have an open bed, pretty much at that point. And so they called me at 7 pm the next night and my mother-in-law had come up to watch two of the children. We had the other two go with my best friend and my mother-in-law, of course, was like we can watch them on. I was like I feel guilty. I was like not everyone wants to take care of four kids, and I get that guilty. I was like not everyone wants to take care of four kids, and I get that. And so I just I split them up between our two people that we have that help a lot when it comes to them.
Shelby: 23:05
And they started my induction. I took half oral medication. They're like we'll probably have you take two more before we start Pitocin. After that one oral medication I had dilated from nothing to three centimeters and then they had slowly started pitocin and I was almost at six within an hour and they stopped because my doctor had specifically suggested, or specifically asked to uh birth my baby and he wasn't on call that night. He was on call the next morning. So they told them, yeah, so they stopped all medication and made us wait until the next morning to start it back up.
Shelby: 23:50
Yeah, and so they got the call. He had come in, they he uh did a cervical check and then they started me on pitocin again and I had not wanted an epidural. I knew I didn't want an epidural from the last experience it scared me to think about. And they came in three or four times and they're like if you don't get it now, you're not gonna get it, you know. So it's gonna get worse from here. So if you don't get it now, you're not gonna get it. And so I finally was like, okay, we'll try. Because at that point they had scared me into it and I wish I didn't because again that pain, I didn't end up getting it like they tried.
Shelby: 24:27
For I think my husband said two hours, because we went through all this this morning to make sure my story was right, because it was just so much of a blur. He said that they had tried for over an hour is what it says here and I was shaking, crying and I started to have a panic attack. They had to give me medication to calm myself down because I just couldn't breathe. And so they're like OK, we're going to walk out, we're going to leave, we'll come back. And so they finally my nurse got me calmed down after a long while and the epidural person walked into the room and I just started crying again. I could not handle the thought of them being in there. They're like this is your last chance. You're at eight centimeters. If you don't get it now, you're not getting it, and I was like I don't want it. I cannot choose whether this baby comes out of me or not, but I can choose not to go through that pain.
Angela: 25:20
You refused it after they kept trying for an hour. You were like, just stop like, and then yeah, and it was awful.
Shelby: 25:27
My, I had a bruise about that big on my back. Sorry, I know that you're not using the video. It bruise about that big on my back Sorry, I know that you're not using the video. Uh, it was bigger than a quarter on my back and that was more painful than the birth itself. I that, yeah, and I I don't know if it's just my my spine isn't straight anymore after cause.
Shelby: 25:49
That first epidural that I got with my, with my first child, was so easy. It was one shot done, no problem, and so it just the thought of it. That was the worst part of my whole thing and I went through a lot with this last pregnancy. Um, so finally they gave me some I want to call it laughing gas. I know that's not what it is, but my chest, yeah, it just makes you sleepy and I laid down and I just I was like I want to hold your hand. So my husband stood next to me and he held my hand and I slept and I remember like waking up and breathing through a contraction and going back to bed and finally the nurse came in and she's like we should check you and she's like you're, you're at a. Our doctor told us to call you before this point.
Shelby: 26:37
Um, he came in and I was ready to push and he's like I'm just going to check. I was like you don't need to, I can promise you, I'm ready to push, um. And so I started pushing and it was 90 seconds and I was screaming because the pain was different than it was before, because I did have the epidurals in the past. So this time around I was screaming and my nurse was like you have to stop screaming. And mentally I thought she was telling me to be quiet because other people on the floor and I was like why, why do I have to stop screaming? Like I started to yell at her and she goes it just makes it harder to push, that's all. We just want you to focus on pushing, not screaming. I was like, okay, I just gotten lashed out at her. Um, but it was only 90 seconds of pushing and he was out and he was good, very healthy baby. He had no problems.
Shelby: 27:28
Um, his doctor said he was ready to go home after 24 hours, but they kept in there for me. They didn't release him until I was released and then, the aftermath of that, I was having extreme cramping, more than I had in the past, which I thought was an epidural thing. I didn't have the epidural this time so I thought maybe it was normal. My nurse checked me three or four times for bleeding and there she had one of the senior nurses coming in check and the senior nurse was like no, it looks fine, it looks normal. And they checked me one last time before moving me into recovery and she's like there's way too many blood clots here. And then it was a whirlwind of different doctors and anesthesiologists, everyone coming in and out getting me ready to go to the OR.
Angela: 28:21
How did the placenta come out after your child was born? Was it rushed?
Shelby: 28:29
Honestly, I don't remember a big chunk of that. I just kept pushing afterward, like I had in the past. It didn't come out that I remember overly fast. It came out easy enough, wasn't painful. We did clip our placenta, we didn't keep it attached, so for me that was just routine. I didn't put much thought into it.
Angela: 28:58
Yeah. So then they noticed the blood clots and they and everybody came in and suggested going to the OR. What was sort of the thoughts behind that?
Shelby: 29:08
So my body, my uterus, had stopped contracting, which meant that the blood that's supposed to slowly stop wasn't so it was clotting inside my uterus, which isn't supposed to happen not to the extent that it was, and it was. I had a hemorrhage. They gave me four shots in my legs. I couldn't tell you what they were, I was just signing papers. At that point. They were like sign this, Okay, this, we need to make sure that you're okay Getting blood transfusions. And so they got four shots in my legs to stop the bleeding, um to try and get my uterus to start contraction again. And then they gave me more Pitocin, because where that starts your contractions in the first place, they were trying to get the contractions to keep going, to make my uterus work again. So they got me all ready.
Shelby: 30:03
My husband was supposed to go home to our children at three that day and this was like two o'clock and he's like I'm not leaving until you're out, Like we will tell our people they've got to keep the kids. What are they going to do? So we went in. I went in, he stayed back with the baby and they put me to sleep. They're like you can't get a epidural. I was like no, because they had come in and asked can we, can we put an epidural in? My husband's like don't try epidural. And my husband's like don't try. So they put me under and they ended up putting a balloon inside my uterus to help pump out the clots. So they weren't sitting in there, so they didn't find a way to a different part of my body, so this was continuously pumping blood out of me. I had lost over two liters of blood. At this point is what I was told my doctor. By the time I woke up, my doctor had left for the day.
Angela: 30:56
So they made you wait until the morning so he could be there when you gave birth, and then he didn't even stay to talk to you after your emergency surgery. Oh, my goodness.
Shelby: 31:09
Yeah, so he birthed my baby and then he did my surgery, but when I woke up he wasn't there for the day. He came in the next day to talk to me, so my husband tried to fill me in as best he could with what they called him.
Angela: 31:22
So there wasn't really anyone else that consulted you until the next morning about what had happened.
Shelby: 31:27
Yeah, the nurse. She told me that there was a balloon in me, but she didn't know how to explain it any better than that and she said that we're gonna have to do a transfusion at some point that night to help get blood back into my body because I was very gray. I have no pictures of my face at that point, but I have pictures of my arms and they were just white, ghost white, like me holding the baby and stuff, and luckily he was okay this whole time. He, they. Actually I was under for six hours at this point, from birth.
Shelby: 31:59
To that point I had not breastfed my baby yet and they had not fed him before I went in. I was like if you guys have to give him a bottle, you got to do what you got to do. They're like don't you want to breastfeed? And I was like, yes, but you know, if he's hungry he's got to do what you got to do. They're like don't you want to breastfeed? I was like, yes, but you know, if he's hungry, he's got to eat. I come out and my husband's like they didn't feed the baby. They were worried about you not being able to breastfeed and I was like, well, if he was needed food. He should have been fed, and that's kind of where I was at, but he's was fine. Um, we started breastfeeding after that point, which was which was okay. Uh, I couldn't get out of bed. Um, they put a catheter in. I was bedridden for two days. After that point, my doctor had come in the next day and explained everything to me.
Angela: 32:51
Yeah, so what was it kind of like when he came in that next morning?
Shelby: 32:52
you must've had a million questions, questions. He just kind of explained to me what was going on. Uh, he explained that the balloon that they called it, that that they put in, was to keep my blood clean from clots. Um, so I wasn't getting blood clots into different parts of my body. They gave, trapped me full of medication to stop bleeding altogether the best that they could, and that's. He really didn't have too much to say about it other than that it was just kind of how it went.
Shelby: 33:23
I remember when I woke up from the anesthesia I could hear everyone around me and what they were saying, but I couldn't talk back to them, which freaked me out a little bit. My husband said that I kept saying random words and and he couldn't make out what I wanted. And at some point I was just like making like sucking noises and I was trying to ask him for a drink and he couldn't. Yeah, so he brought me. He ended up getting it after a while of me just making noise, but it was hard to get the my mouth to work after that point. Yeah, and then that day, after he came in and saw me, they moved me into recovery, but I still had the balloon in the recovery room. I still had the catheter in the recovery room for two days. All I wanted was a shower and I kept asking them for a shower. I don't think that had I not asked, they probably wouldn't have given me one at all while I was there, because it almost seemed like it was a pain to let me go take a shower.
Shelby: 34:26
So after I got moved in there that was, he was born on the 14th. That was the 15th I got moved into recovery. They ended up. I stopped bleeding altogether on the 16th with normal postpartum recovery. You bleed for a few weeks after, but what with everything that they had done? I stopped bleeding altogether on the 16th With normal postpartum recovery. You bleed for a few weeks after, but with everything that they had done, I stopped bleeding altogether. But I still had needles so they could do an emergency infusion if they needed to transfusion. And they had actually blown out both hands, both inside my arms, and they had to put it in my upper arm. They had to get two different machines in the room to find a vein to poke just in case they needed it and then they had to plastic wrap that and my husband had to hold me up in the shower. They wouldn't let me go by myself, just in case I faded from the hot water, so were going to let me leave on the 17th and I had a faint spell.
Shelby: 35:29
I was in my bed and I just got really dizzy. I couldn't see. I was calling the nurses and they came in there like what's wrong? I was like everything's just dizzy. And so my nurse is like you look very pale. We're going to give you another blood transfusion. You can't go home today. And I just cried.
Shelby: 35:45
That was really hard having my kids at home. I miss them a lot. My baby was healthy. I felt like I was a problem. I just I just wanted to go home and my husband comes in a few hours later Cause he's, you know, we have friends helping out with the kids when they can, so he's popping in and out whenever he can. And I just cried. I was like this isn't fair. I shouldn't have said anything. I should have just sucked it up, waited until the dizzy spell went away and gone home. And he's like you need it. You look great. He's like you got to smarten up a little bit because you got to take care of yourself Anytime.
Shelby: 36:24
I wanted to hold the baby. Someone had to come in and bring him to me. I couldn't just get up and go get him, which was hard because I was not like. I wasn't supposed to be standing or walking around. They wanted me in bed all the time, and especially holding the baby. They didn't want me walking around with him in case I fainted. And so finally, the 18th, which was that Sunday, they came in and they're like we think you can go home. You know, they gave me a list of things to look for, like extra clotting If I start bleeding again, if I get dizzy again. I had to come right back in, but I just wanted to go home. At that point I was getting miserable, and I wouldn't say that I had postpartum depression. I just think I went through a hard situation at that point, and so I just wanted to go home to my kids when I got home.
Shelby: 37:14
So the kids got out of school about a week before this point. So when I got home they had contracted scabies from school. My three oldest kids, my two stepkids and my oldest daughter all had a rash all over their body. I was like what is this? And my husband's like I don't know, they were at a friend's house. Maybe they got into something that made, you know, made them rush out. So I was like you got to take them to the ER. We just brought home a fresh baby. We can't have them, you know, having hand, foot and mouth or something, because it was speckles all over their bodies. And so he comes back from the ER and we're in a small town and the ER is like we've seen this all week long. We don't even have to look into it, we know what it is. So scabies is like lice but on your skin.
Shelby: 38:07
And so I had to at this point we kept the baby in a different room than everyone else. My youngest didn't even get it. I don't understand, because she's all over everyone all the time. I stripped everyone's beds, did everyone through. We put everything in garbage bags outside, anything that was cloth, anything we couldn't like our couches. I bleached them down, clean them like all within just coming home from the hospital. Then I had to do everyone's laundry, all their bedding.
Shelby: 38:34
It. Just two days of straight cleaning after coming home from all of that was not what I needed, so I ended up breastfeeding at that point. Uh, three months he lost more weight than he should have. So we switched over slowly to formula Um. My his doctor was like normally when kids lose this much we take them to NICU to and watch them, just in case something's wrong with them. He goes, but he looks healthy. He's just lost more weight than we'd like at this point. So we switched over after three months, solely the formula, just so he could make sure that he stayed on top of his weight gain. And now he's catching up to his older sister.
Angela: 39:16
So Well, that's interesting. They told you, even at three months, that they would take him to the NICU to be monitored because of the weight loss.
Shelby: 39:25
Weight loss. Yeah, so it was we. So we were at about a month and a half six week appointment I believe we'd gone in for. So they normally it's like one week appointment, two week appointment, month appointment, then a two month appointment, but where he was losing weight, not gaining it, they started adding extra appointments in. So we had gone in at six weeks and they were like, after you're done breastfeeding him, give him more. So I was pumping to try and keep up with him at that point so he'd eat off me and then we'd give him a bottle of pumped milk and he slowly started gaining. Eat off me and then we'd give him a bottle of pumped milk and he slowly started gaining.
Shelby: 40:03
So at that six week point is when the doctor was like we, you know, normally we would take a kid at this point for losing this much weight, but he's healthy. He he was rolling at that point, moving around. He was like he was as active as a six-week-old would be. They're like normally when a baby's losing this much weight, they're bargic, like if the parents aren't doing enough. He's like we can tell that you're doing enough, it's just you're not gaining weight. So he had suggested adding formula in if needed. We tried the pump milk and he still. He started slowly gaining from there, but not at two months to the point they wanted him to, and so I was doing breast milk and then formula after, and then we ended up switching fully to formula by three months it's kind of funny too, because at the same time, like they want you to stick to these standards, but everybody's different, you know.
Angela: 40:57
So it's like all that pressure is just it's different, you know so it's like all that pressure is just it's hard to, you know, to keep up with sometimes.
Shelby: 41:04
Right. And when a doctor tells you well, we're thinking about taking your kid, you know it makes you freak out, definitely, especially when you're doing everything you can. And then I have friends who have breastfed before and they're like our kids were small being breastfed. We heard the same thing. You know, keep going with it. And I'm like I'm a little too freaked out to keep going with what I'm doing.
Angela: 41:26
Yeah, wow. Now I have one last question for you. If you were to give advice to expecting parents, or even new parents, what would be the biggest thing you would say to them?
Shelby: 41:41
Not to compare their experiences. Someone's experience could be better or worse than yours. That doesn't make yours any less. Don't let the thought of someone else having a great birth ruin your birth experience, because it is what it is and it should be celebrated for. Whether your kid came out C-section or with an epidural. And same with babies as they grow, every baby's different. Some babies cry all day long and you might have a friend who has a really good baby that I mean they say good baby, but baby that doesn't cry as often, who seems happy and giggly, while yours cries a little bit more than you'd like. Every baby's different. I mean even between siblings, you'll notice. You know one a kid might be easy, while your other kid might make you question your choices a little bit. So, yeah, that's, I guess, what I would suggest. Just don't don't compare as much as we do sometimes.
Angela: 42:39
Yeah, absolutely. That is really great advice. I totally agree. Well, thank you so much, shelby, for sharing today. I really appreciate hearing your stories and it's a pleasure to chat with you. Thank you, and that's the end of another episode of the my Main Birth podcast. Thank you for joining me and listening. I hope that the stories shared here have been inspiring and informative to all of my listeners. If you're looking to capture your own birth story, I highly recommend considering my birth photography services. I'm a professional photographer and I'm very passionate about capturing the raw and emotional moments of the birthing process, and I designed a personalized and intimate photo album, creating a beautiful and lasting memory of one of the most special moments of your life. For more information, head over to mymainphotocom and schedule a call with me. Thanks again for tuning in, and I look forward to bringing you more amazing birth stories. Don't forget to subscribe and leave me a review, and I'll see you back here again next week.