56. My Maine Birth: Ellie Shares about the Birth of Her Twins at EMMC in Bangor, Maine
Ellie: 0:00
Yeah, and I think it's like one of those things where, in the moment, you want to just pretend like this is okay and you don't want to cause any conflict and you assume that the medical professionals know what they're doing and know what's best. And I think it's a good reminder that, in the end, there's a lot of times where you know yourself more than they know you, and even if they know the medical pieces, they might not always know every unique case. So it's always good to advocate for what you need and what feels right in that moment.
Angela: 0:37
I'm Angela and you're listening to my Maine Birth a space where we share the real life stories of families and their unique birth experiences in the beautiful state of Maine. From our state's biggest hospitals to birth center births and home births, every birth story deserves to be heard and celebrated, from the first feelings of pregnancy to the first cry of your newborn, we explore the journey of childbirth in all of its beauty, intensity and emotion. Whether you're a soon-to-be mom, a seasoned mother or simply interested in the world of birth. These episodes are for you.
Angela: 1:16
As part of my commitment to capturing these incredible moments, I'm proud to offer my birth photography services to families throughout Maine. As an experienced photographer, I'm dedicated to capturing the beauty and emotion of this special moment in your life. For all of the information, head over to mymainephotocom and fill out the contact form to schedule a call with me. Now sit back, relax and join me as we dive into the world of childbirth in Maine and discover the joy, strength and love that is at the heart of every birth story. Today's birth story guest is Ellie, and she shares her experience birthing her twins at Northern Lights Eastern Maine Medical Center in Bangor. Hi, Ellie, Welcome to my Maine Birth. Hi, how are you? Hi, I'm good. How are you Good? Thanks for taking the time to chat with me today.
Ellie: 2:13
Of course, Thanks for doing this. I think this is super cool how you share. It sounds like just a bunch of main stories about different births and getting that awareness out there, and I think that's great.
Angela: 2:31
Yeah, I wanted to create this podcast really as a resource for families across Maine to hear about the different types of support available and about the different birth choices that people make. There are so many options for care when it comes to birth and it's not one size fits all, and how you're treated when you give birth matters. You'll remember that forever. So finding the care that's right for you is so important, and I would see all the time on, like the local mom groups, people asking what was it like birthing at this hospital or that hospital or with this doctor or that midwife, and I thought it would be so cool to create a resource of stories from around Maine and I really appreciate you and all of the moms who reach out offering to share your birth stories, because it would not be possible without all of you.
Ellie: 3:17
Well, I'm happy to share. I've been through kind of a unique experience, I think, so it's always helpful, I think when you know you hear all good variety, I guess.
Angela: 3:28
Yeah, so to jump right into it, can you share a little bit about you and your family?
Ellie: 3:35
Yes, so I'm Ellie, I'm 26. And I'm married to my husband, miguel. He's 29. And we live in Holden, maine. We recently had twin girls, in June, which is very exciting. They're identical twins and they're growing fast. They're almost six months old now. We're very, very lucky to have them. They're beautiful babies growing very strong, so we're very fortunate.
Angela: 4:02
Wow, oh my goodness. So tell me a little bit about when you first found out you were pregnant and your thoughts in choosing your care.
Ellie: 4:10
So it's kind of funny. We found out we were pregnant last year on October 25th and we were so excited because we were in the middle of a house renovation and we actually had only been married for about five months and we were really just looking forward to starting a family. So when we found out we were pregnant, we were super stoked and then I started bleeding a few weeks later. So we had to go in for an ultrasound earlier than our first appointment was scheduled for, and the night before that I had started bleeding. We were actually sitting in our room and we were joking. We're like, wouldn't it be funny if there were two babies? And we just like didn't tell anybody and we just showed up after they were born with two. And then we're like, no, that might be bad. They might think that we like can have one, we don't want that. So. But then we went to the appointment and the ultrasound tech was like she was like oh, this is the baby in the sack here, and. And then I was like, ok, so what's the same thing? That's like right above it, like we're just not even going to acknowledge that. But she was a technician, not a doctor, so she couldn't confirm to us that there were two babies and they were like well, it's early, but this is the baby. And so we're like okay, they're like you have to come back in two weeks, we'll tell you then if there's two. So, um, the day after thanksgiving we went back and they were like yep, I see we're here checking for multiples and she's like we've had a lot of triplets come through here lately. I was like, listen, last time we joked, we ended up like seeing two babies. Let's not joke that there might be a third popping up. So but no, excitingly there were two and they were healthy and strong, and so that was really exciting. We decided so.
Ellie: 5:55
In Bangor there's very few places that you can go for OB care, and the place that I wanted to go was already filled up for the month when I had tried to make an appointment in the end of October. So they only take a certain number per month so they don't overwork their doctors when it comes time to deliver. But so we ended up going with women's health at Northern Light and I had never heard anything about them. I wasn't really sure what to expect. I was trying to ask a bunch of people, but I hadn't told everyone I was pregnant. So it's kind of hard to get information without people knowing that I was pregnant.
Ellie: 6:37
So we got assigned to Erin Hoare originally, who is a nursing midwife, and when she found out that we had twins she doesn't have experience. She didn't have experience with twins, especially our type, where they were mono dye twins, which is two different sacks but one placenta. So it's high risk. So they switched us to Dr Rinaldi as our primary person and we still saw Aaron here and there. So that's kind of how we just kind of got thrown into that.
Angela: 7:05
Yeah, were you trying to go with Down East and they were full? Yeah, yeah, yeah, those are really the only two in the area if you're choosing a hospital birth, unfortunately. So now, how was your pregnancy? How did that look with twins?
Ellie: 7:22
Yeah. So we were deemed high risk because of them sharing the placenta. They had to keep a very close eye on the twins to make sure that twin-twin infusion didn't happen or one twin got more nutrients and grew bigger than the other twin, which luckily never happened for us. We went for ultrasounds every two weeks. We went to the doctor. I think the doctor schedule is pretty standard. At first we went every five weeks or so and then they started to cut that down to three weeks and then two weeks towards the end of the pregnancy, but we still had those ultrasounds every two weeks, so they were kind of monitoring that way.
Ellie: 7:57
The pregnancy itself, I mean I was nauseous, I got big pretty fast, but I didn't get overly big. It seemed like there was a certain point where I stopped kind of growing out and they kind of just kept pushing in, because I'm not a very tall person. I'm only five feet tall, and so it was I felt huge. But I look back at pictures now and I'm like I really wasn't that big, especially for twins, which is surprising. So one of the twins ended up getting stuck down in my pelvic bones, which caused me like a ton of like hip problems because my bones were shifting and she was down there for about two and a half months towards the end of the pregnancy. So we were a little worried about that and there was a point where she didn't grow at the same rate as her sister, which also was concerned. But the doctors didn't seem concerned because she was over four pounds. So overall it was okay.
Ellie: 8:46
I went through COVID, I went through the flu. I honestly thought that I was going to have to be hospitalized during COVID because my fever was getting so high and I couldn't breathe. I could barely move out of my bed. It was really scary, but that only lasted about 24 hours the harsh part and then it got better pretty quick.
Angela: 9:05
How far along were you when that happened?
Ellie: 9:07
Let's see, that was in March. So I was just about like six months or so, seven months, pregnant. That kind of made it better, though, for me in the hospital, because once I had to keep going into the hospital which I'll get into in a second but I didn't have to mask at that point or have COVID tests over and over because I had already had COVID. So that part was nice for me, that I kind of got a little bit easier in there. And then they lifted the masking requirements too, which was fantastic. But on April 10th I ended up.
Ellie: 9:40
I called my doctor because I had an appointment that day anyways, but I was at work and I work in a school and I was pacing the hallway that I work in because I had so much right side pain. And at this point I was 26 weeks and my six weeks 27 weeks right around there, and I couldn't get rid of this pain. I tried sitting, I tried stretching, I tried moving. There was nothing I could do to get rid of this pain. I tried sitting, I tried stretching, I tried moving. There was nothing I could do to get rid of this pain and I ended up leaving work to go to my ultrasound, and then I was going to go see the doctor and I called the doctor's office and they said you know what? Come down right after your ultrasound. Let's just get this checked out, let's make sure everything's okay. So I went and had my ultrasound. That was very uncomfortable and I went down to the doctor's office right after and they were like well, with right side pain, we want to make sure it's not an appendicitis, we want to make sure your gallbladder is okay. So we're going to do a scan for those. While we go and get that set up, we're going to have you sit here and go on the monitor to make sure you're not like having contractions or anything like that.
Ellie: 10:45
I didn't feel like I was having contractions, but I also didn't know what any contractions felt like. So they hooked me up to the monitor and I was having contractions. So they immediately sent me upstairs and admitted me to the hospital for preterm labor. They put me on magnesium for 24 hours, which was a horrible experience. I hated magnesium. I felt like the worst I've felt in a long time. That was like a really rough draining, you know, just wanting to puke everywhere and not being able to have a coherent thought, and it was extremely painful, and then we stayed in the hospital for four days until the contractions had stopped. I was dilated a centimeter and a half at that point. So they had stopped the labor. But they said there was a chance that it could happen again and if I started to feel any symptoms I would have to go back to the hospital. So at that point they put me on a temporary bed rest, and that temporary bed rest was only for a few weeks. My school was going on April vacation the following week anyway, so I wasn't going to be going to work then. But they kept it for a couple of weeks after that and two weeks later I ended up going back to the hospital again with preterm labor, stayed another night. That time they gave me more steroid shots to kind of help the babies grow and develop so that if they were born that early that they would have a better chance of surviving.
Ellie: 12:10
And at this point, like we've already talked to NICU, they were keeping a close eye on us, like we're pretty familiar by now with the labor and delivery floor and the postpartum floor, because we stayed on both halves of the floor and we were kind of shifting through all of the doctors that were on call. So Northern Light has a ton. So we were never really given the same doctor to check in with, unless our doctor was on that day, which Dr Rinaldi wasn't on very often in coordinates with when we were there and we weren't really getting clear answers on what things were going to look like, what we should prepare for, what we should do. We just even in the moment they would do an ultrasound and then not talk to us about it, or they would do lab results and not tell us what they were looking for, or it just kind of felt like we were lost a lot of the time and we had to keep asking can we see a doctor, can we get some answers?
Ellie: 13:03
So we ended up going to the hospital multiple times throughout the rest of the pregnancy. I want to say it was almost every week and a half. Two weeks. We would either stay a day or two for preterm labor and I got put on bed rest for a total of seven weeks still having a lot of that right side pain, and they just kept giving me mild medications to help stop the contractions. I got to the point near the end where I was dilated four centimeters. So it just kind of slowly. I kept increasing more and more and more. My water never broke. I did experience contractions that I think were overall pretty mild. They were still painful, but nothing like I think real birth contractions would feel like.
Ellie: 13:45
And then we had our scheduled C-section. So we had a scheduled C-section for June 16th. So they kept telling me I was in preterm labor. I was extremely uncomfortable and I had this pain and over and over I was like listen, 35 weeks is a good spot, can we have the babies now? I feel like something's wrong. I feel like my body's failing. It didn't seem like anyone cared about how I was doing. The babies were perfectly healthy. So they were like no, everything is fine. That's all I felt like the entire pregnancy was the babies are fine, so we're just going to keep going and I'm so glad the babies were healthy and had great weights and growth.
Ellie: 14:25
The whole time, however, I was really struggling, especially towards the end. I was pretty dreamed. I was really, really struggling. I mean, I wasn't being social. I would just, of course, for bed rest, I just would sit in my bed, I'd maybe do a little bit of laundry, but I wasn't going anywhere, I wasn't doing anything. I wasn't talking to anyone. I didn't even have the mental capacity to work from home. I was just kind of existing, trying to get through to the next moment, trying to find a comfortable position to get through the pain. That didn't feel normal. I thought discomfort would be normal. That made sense to me, but to have intense pain for several weeks just didn't make sense, and so I just kept feeling like I was being gaslighted. That's honestly what I felt, like, over and over and over. Like this is normal, this is normal. Like that was the number one phrase that kept coming back at me. Um, so it's interesting because after those seven weeks they actually sent me back to work for two weeks. So at the end of my pregnancy I gave birth at 37 weeks on the day.
Ellie: 15:29
So for the last two weeks I went back to work, and I work in a school where I have to be pretty mobile. I'm a school counselor, so I have to move around the building and go to kids' crises and go up and teach classes, and my work tried to work with me as much as they could to be like no, no, no, no, let's try to keep you in this zone. So I work in a school with a thousand kids, so they were really nice and they were like you really shouldn't be here. But I also didn't have the sick time to take off because it was my first year working there. So it was like so much strain and just I felt the obligation to keep coming to work to do my job there.
Ellie: 16:10
I also felt the obligation to, you know, listen to what the doctors were saying and just keep going about my day and I felt like inside my body was like no, something is wrong, just stop. But that didn't happen and I kept asking the doctors what I could do for this pain and I wasn't getting any answers. They're like you can take Tylenol and I was like, well, tylenol is not cutting it, you can put heat or ice on it. Nope, that's not working either. I'm in some serious pain.
Ellie: 16:42
So I remember sitting at our C-section pre-op appointment and I was like why can't we take the babies now? Like we understand that they're going to probably have to be in the NICU either way. They're really healthy weights. At that point they were both right around five and a half pounds, which is a really good size for twins, and we were like can we just, please, just take them, and they were like, unless there's a medical reason, a medical emergency, to take them, we're not going to. And I said, okay, fine, and then we got through those next like 10 days to get to the C-section and then the morning of the C-section, you know, we get up.
Ellie: 17:21
We were the first appointment of the day and, thank God, we went straight to the hospital at five in the morning and got in there, had our C-section, which was a whole nother experience in itself, and the babies were born super healthy, which was, which was awesome. We had probably about 16 people in the delivery room with us, cause we had two NICU teams on top of the C-section team themselves, so it was quite a lot of people in there and it went very quick and it felt very weird. So we checked in in the morning and they took us right up to a room to get ready for pre-op. We were left alone there for quite a while, like an hour, hour and a half, so I was just kind of sitting in my own thoughts at that point and my husband's just trying to keep busy and try to keep me distracted so that everything will go smoothly, and I just I remember sitting there thinking what's going to happen, because there was this conversation that we had had at one of my first appointments how it could get to a point where the babies would be so big and taking so much that I could have organ failure or that there could be like too much blood coming out and I could.
Ellie: 18:33
You know all these like morbid things that could have happened. And they just kind of came rushing in at that time, like those thoughts of oh my God, what if? This is it Like? What if I don't make it out of this? What if? If I don't make it out of this, what if the babies don't make it out of this? Who knows what's going to happen?
Ellie: 18:49
And at this point, throughout the pregnancy I never felt that connection of like oh, this is my sweet little baby, this is what it's going to feel like after, because I'd never had a baby and I hadn't really been around a ton of newborn babies in my life. So it's like I never felt that like innate mother connection. So I didn't know what I was missing at that point. And for me I was just like, just stuck in all of these thoughts of like what's this going to feel like? What's this going to be like? Am I going to be able to walk? Am I going to get, you know, paralyzed from the spinal, like the extremes that you know they do tell you could happen, and make you sign a waiver saying, yeah, we won't see you if this happens? But it's like wait, did I really just sign a waiver saying that you know if I die, like they're not responsible, you know, yeah. So it was kind of scary.
Ellie: 19:43
And then the doctor came in and finally and talked to us. We had Dr Amanda Query for our delivery and she was very nice, very kind, very level-headed, talked us through, kept us calm, which was really awesome came in and he talked to us. I was a little nervous about having a male doctor in the room, just because of my own personal history, but it was fine. He, he was very nice, talked us through, answered all of our questions, talked through the whole procedure. The nurses kept coming in and prepping everything and then it was like, within like this like little five minute period, it was like everyone started rushing to like get us in and I heard word that, like, um, dr Query was out there, like like telling people we're doing this now. You need to get moving now, like it's time to go. Like, stop standing around, let's go. Um. So it was just kind of like a at least she was ready to like do this, let's, let's get it over with. We got, they had a schedule, so they at probably about 745,.
Ellie: 20:48
They wheeled me into the room and they made my husband sit outside in the hallway while they did my spinal, which I found very strange and I don't understand why they do that. Because I needed support in there. Like that was probably the time when I needed the most support and I had to hold a random nurse's hands. Her name was Kim. She was very sweet and I'm so glad I had her, but I mean, I was holding onto her and I was crying and I'm panicked.
Ellie: 21:14
I have no idea what's going on. I'm just having needles stuck into my spine and you know I'm just being told lay here, do this roll that way. You know you're not doing this right. Lean forward, arch your back a little more. Like I'm I'm all alone in here. Like what if there? What if something does go wrong? And I'm just in here with some random people? Like I was just super nervous, um. So then they get me laid on the table and they started poking my stomach and asking me if I could feel it. And I still could, um, and they were like, oh, like, guess we need to give it a little more time. And I was like, yeah, like, if I can feel it, I don't want you to start cutting into me. And so they waited a few more minutes and they were just kind of generally talking about some different things. It was very weird, but you know how surgeries are like what they did over the weekend or something.
Ellie: 22:02
Yeah, yeah, just kind of a little bit of chitting, kind of trying to have a positive, like I don't know energy in the room, and then Dr Query started going through the checklist of every person and all the things that they're supposed to be doing and making sure that they're on task and that everyone was standing in the right spot with the right tools ready, and the next thing I know, it's like like my arms are out sideways, of course, the curtains here, and I can't see anything, and they've like started doing stuff, and Miguel wasn't even in the room, my husband wasn't there yet and stuff started happening, and then they brought Miguel in really quick, and within like a minute or two, they're holding up the first baby, and I was just like whoa, like what just happened? It was like super fast. And I was just like Whoa, like what just happened? It was like super fast. And so they were like here's baby a, and they tried to hold her over. I couldn't see, though, because the curtain was too high and they, within a minute, they had baby be out as well, and they held her up and they took Miguel, and he went over with the babies while with the NICU teams and they weighed the babies and check them over and did all the tests to make sure that they were okay. And they had to get the okay from the NICU teams before they could come see me and so then they brought one baby over and my arms are outside ways.
Ellie: 23:16
I felt like I was on a roller coaster, because when they pump the babies out they push really hard on the top of your stomach and it just feels like a stomach. You're flipping on a roller coaster and I was freezing cold. So I have this picture with like six blankets around my head and my chest and just trying to stay warm, and it just was like such a foggy experience, like it didn't feel positive. And the babies came out and I looked at the babies and I was like, oh, like a baby has a bunch of crap on her. She's not that pretty. Like like I don't know. I was like I didn't know what to expect when the baby comes out and they're trying to put the babies on me. But like I didn't, I wasn't ready for skin to skin, um, like I still had my bra on and I had my nightgown on and um, so that wasn't going to be an option for me in that moment my arms, like I was too tired to like pick up my arms to hold the baby and it was just like too foggy, so I didn't feel safe holding them either.
Ellie: 24:17
So there was a point where you know my husband he's all excited, he's got both babies in his arms and he's like looking around to the nurses and he's like now, what, what do I? What do I do? Like I, I've got two babies now. Like this kind of came out of nowhere, um, and he was just like waiting for some instruction and they were just all doing their thing. You know, like they've done this a hundred times already and it's just I think sometimes they forget that we've never done this. Um, this is our first time. So, but then they took us back to recovery, um, the babies came right with us and they cleaned them up and got them ready and luckily we were very fortunate I can't say that enough that the baby stayed with us and every room that we were in when we went over to postpartum a few hours later.
Ellie: 25:05
The postpartum team was awesome. They came in, they took the baby sometimes if we wanted to take a nap or something for a few hours, and there was one point where the baby started to get really cold. So they took them in and put them on like warmers and added hats and blankets and stuff. And we're kind of keeping a close eye on their temperature because they were having a lot of trouble maintaining their birth weight and they dropped their weights a lot. So Callie was born at five pounds 12 ounces and Camille was born at six pounds nine ounces. So they were pretty good size for twins and we were just kind of waiting to see what was going to happen and hope that nothing bad was going to happen. So that was kind of like the whole day in itself.
Angela: 25:51
Oh my gosh. So what was your like sort of immediate postpartum, then after that, like coming out of the surgery and like the first few days after that?
Ellie: 26:02
So actually when I was on the magnesium and back in April I had to have a catheter in, and the catheter was so bad I screamed like I was in labor the entire time. It was in for two hours and I screamed the entire time so they ended up taking it out. So when they did that for the C-section, I was so terrified of this catheter causing so much pain again that, unfortunately, that was like the number one thing on my mind when we got back to the recovery room was can we take this out? Can I get it out now? And they're like well, you don't have feeling yet in your legs, You're not supposed to do it. I was like I want this out as soon as possible. So as soon as we got over to postpartum that's all that was on my mind I was thinking like, oh my God, like I don't want the numbing medication to wear off completely because it's going to hurt like it did before. And they ended up taking it out around 11 o'clock, so about three hours after I had given birth, and they were like well, you have to pee within the next six hours, Otherwise we have to put it back in. And I was like, oh no, why didn't you tell me that before you took it out? Cause it didn't hurt coming out. And so that's what I spent most of my day focused on was how am I going to get myself to pee? And I kept trying to get up to go to the bathroom and people like every 30 minutes I had a nurse come in to help me to get over to the bathroom so I could try to pee and chug an apple juice and all the things that I could take to try to to try to make it happen.
Ellie: 27:30
Um, on top of the medications wearing off, I was, I was getting very, very sick. Um, I do not do well with any sort of anesthesia type stuff, and the numbing medication, the spinal, did just enough to push me over the edge. So I remember holding one of the girls at one point and then I just like looked at my, my husband, and I was like take her, take her right now. And he could like just barely got her out of my hands and I just threw up everywhere and I was like, yep, this is, this is how it's going to be, I guess. And that happened a few times, so it was more just like I wasn't even thinking about the babies. I wasn't thinking about anything else, Just like my body was still feeling like it was failing and I was like how am I supposed to take care of other humans at this point when I can't even pee, I can't even hold down food, I can't do anything? So it was, it was very rough that first day.
Ellie: 28:26
The next day I started to do a lot better. So I was working on breastfeeding. I was working on eating more food. The hospital food sucks, so we kept trying to find different foods that I liked. Toast and peanut butter seemed to be one of the best things that I could keep down and help get a little bit of food in my stomach. So I ate that like four times a day and trying to like tandem breastfeed while figuring out how do I make this work with these two little babies. Luckily, my husband was amazing. He was on top of everything. I couldn't lift the girls to get them into bed. I could barely get myself to the bathroom like he was doing it all, which was awesome. The nursing staff for the most part was pretty great.
Ellie: 29:13
They kept me on a good regimen of medications, although I kept asking for more. I didn't want to take so much that I was then going to have trouble with it later. But I was still in a ton of pain. I was still having that right side pain that they had never figured out. They told me that was just preterm labor. But we were now post labor and then they told me that that right side pain was from where the doctor was putting her hand and tying off the stitches during the C-section. So it was like the story kind of changed a little bit as time kept coming and going.
Ellie: 29:46
We stayed for four days and I wanted to stay as long as I could because that meant I didn't have to clean, I didn't have to cook, I didn't have to do anything. People came and visited us in the hospital, which I really liked, because then, you know, they didn't stay very long because they didn't feel like they could. They had to be masked because that was the hospital policy and it just they had to sanitize because that was hospital policy. So I felt like we were a lot safer with people coming to visit there. So I had a ton of people, you know, just in pairs, coming up to see the babies and you know, 10 minutes here, 20 minutes there, you know just quick interactions and that was I was like let's just stay here. But they didn't have to keep us that one extra day because Callie had a.
Ellie: 30:31
Callie was my first born. She had a little bit of heart trouble where her heart would kind of like skip a beat and she would take this deep breath and then her heart would skip a beat and then she'd be fine and she breathed normal. So they had to check that out and make sure she was okay. And then their temperature issue was also a problem. So after four days they sent us home. We came home, did our best in a partially renovated house we were still under construction at this time we did our best to settle in with the babies and we got home around noontime that day. It was a Tuesday and by 4am the next morning we were already in a new panic.
Ellie: 31:14
Overnight Callie started to have some trouble where she was starting to not respond. She didn't want to eat, she wasn't really responding to any cues, she's very lethargic and she started to have a temperature drop. So we called our pediatrician. We're like we know you've never met these babies, but we don't know what to do. And the pediatrician on call was great. We walked through every single question. Callie's temperature was 94.1. And so it was really low and we ended up having to call. She told us to call the ambulance to have them come get Callie and take her to the hospital right away. So that was like on top of our return to recover from all of the trauma that we had experienced in the pregnancy and then the c-section and the hospital stay. Now we're turning around and going right back to the hospital, not even 24 hours later.
Ellie: 32:06
And so we did.
Ellie: 32:07
We packed her up.
Ellie: 32:08
The EMTs didn't know how to put her in her car seat, so we had to put her in her car seat and tighten her up and carry her out to the ambulance.
Ellie: 32:20
And then we had to pack up the other baby and put her in the car. So I went in the ambulance with Callie and Miguel brought Camille in the car with him behind the ambulance, and we went to the emergency room in the ambulance. I'm sitting there and I'm staring at this tiny little newborn baby and she's not really looking at anything. She's just kind of really foggy, breathing, kind of shallow, and this guy is sitting there. He goes, yeah. So I don't. I don't usually have baby carriers in the ambulance so I don't have a way of strapping her down and the two guys are sitting there trying to figure out how to like ratchet strap her car seat to the stretcher and I'm sitting here like this doesn't seem safe, like the amount of safety things we have to go through to put her in a car to take her somewhere. You would think that the ambulance would have like a better method of transporting babies, like what.
Angela: 33:21
So that was like very, very overwhelming um yeah, like it almost would have been better to just put her in your car and go like oh my goodness.
Ellie: 33:30
Yeah, and so we didn't understand why, like it would have been faster for us to just put her in the car and drive there, like they didn't even put the lights on, like we just we just kind of drove over there in the ambulance because Miguel could follow the whole way, and so it was just kind of I don't know. I didn't get it until we got there. When we got there, they brought her in through the ambulance entrance instead of in through the waiting room. And that night in the waiting room which this on-call doctor wouldn't have known this, but there was a really intense stomach bug going around Bangor and even at 4 am they had 27 people in the waiting room that were all vomiting disgusting stomach bug. They had their ER in the waiting room that were all vomiting like disgusting stomach bug. They had their ER. Hallways were lined with people in beds. So by us coming in and going through the ambulance entrance, they just took her up the back hallway and put her in a trauma room where she didn't have to be exposed to any of that. So we we got, we were so grateful for that part in the end. But we took her in and the team was like what's going on and her temperature had come up a little bit. The ambulance driver got it up. Um measured 95. So it was coming up a little, but she was still really cold and not very responsive. So they they had us actually leave the room.
Ellie: 34:50
When got to the trauma room they said we need you to step out for a few moments. We're going to do a little bit of blood work, we're going to get her IV set up, we're going to get everything going for her. And so it actually was like really nerve wracking. We went to a family room that happened to be empty and so I could feed Camille because we still had her with us and trying to keep her safe and away from everybody while they worked on Callie. And eventually I was like you know what, it's been too long, I'm just going to walk down there. I went down and Callie had so many wires and things hooked up to her. She was in one of those like little spaceship things to try to keep her warm. She was on a warming bed and just there were probably about 10 people in the room that were there working on her trying to help get things ready.
Ellie: 35:37
They were calling the NICU to let them know that she was going to be coming up, and so it was very scary and I was like you know why? Why did we have to leave the room? You know, I just left this baby and they were like, well, when, um, we, we prick babies, especially like on the wrist, that's their most painful spot and sometimes on their foot they'll have, they'll scream and cry because it's it's so painful. And I said, oh, I didn't. I didn't hear her cry from down the hall and they said, no, she didn't cry at all. She didn't respond, which was I originally. I was like, oh great, like she's a tough kiddo, not great she was. Her body was working on conserving heat so much that she didn't even have a response to physical pain. So it's just kind of like a even more scary moment. And so we, they got me a wheelchair, thank God Cause I could barely walk, having just birthed the two babies and the C-section and everything. So they wheeled us up to the NICU. From that point, when I walked back into the room, they said that I could stay with her. From then on they didn't make me leave again, which was good.
Ellie: 36:46
We went up to the NICU and another whole team started taking care of her. They were very knowledgeable, they were amazing. The doctors, they were great. They explained everything to us as they were doing it. They said this is our plan, this is our approach, this is how we're going to handle it. They said you can stay right here in the room. So I slept in the nursing recliner. They got Camille a little newborn rollaway bed bassinet so she could stay with us too.
Ellie: 37:13
Usually they don't let kids in the NICU rooms, but where they were twins and they were just born, they said that that's an exception they were willing to make, which is good, because Camille's temperature started to drop as well. She started to show all the same symptoms within a couple of hours, and so they, kind of like, talked us through what we could do to treat Camille. So we didn't have to admit her Um, and so we wrapped her in extra blankets and we put a hat on her and we um got multiple layers of clothing, so they were in preemie clothes and then we put newborn clothes over top to try and help keep them warm. So we stayed with Callie um for well. This was four in the morning, so we stayed with Callie for well, this was four in the morning. So we stayed all day and then that night, so Wednesday the entire day, and then Wednesday night into Thursday morning and then Thursday morning we hadn't slept at all. Basically, for two nights we hadn't barely slept and Camille was really struggling in the NICU room just to sleep and get on a good schedule and because of all the beeping that happens from the other rooms. So we felt super guilty. Of course the mom guilt settled in, but we decided to leave, to go home for one more night.
Ellie: 38:25
They wanted to keep Callie until Friday and so we went home and we left Callie there and called the nurse multiple times to check in on her and they were so great. They were like here are her stats, here's how she's been doing. This was the one little moment where she kind of dipped a little bit, but not enough for us to have a level of concern, just something we're keeping a close eye on. And the cuddlers came in and she started positively responding to the cuddlers. So that was all like really great to hear. And Camille was able to come home and get acquainted with home a little bit and for us it was like wow, one baby like this is like a cakewalk. Like you know, I will never say that again, but that one moment it felt like it was like a cakewalk and it just also felt like something was missing. You know like where's the other half.
Ellie: 39:17
So we picked up Callie the next morning. They discharged her. We kept a really close eye on her temperature and pretty much ever since then temperature has been good. They gained body weight. They're now, you know, know, almost six months and around 14 pounds each. So it's really great to see that that kind of has has come full circle. Callie's actually bigger than Camille now, so that was a huge, huge thing as well. They've had a few like yeast infections since then and different struggles.
Ellie: 39:48
But so for Friday we had then been one week since the birth, because they were born on June 16th, which was a Friday, and we had spent at least some part of every day so far in the hospital for that week. So Saturday morning we woke up. We're like today we're going to be home, we're going to be hospital free, it's going to be great. My parents came over to help us out and we were not that lucky. Things ended up turning around again.
Ellie: 40:17
Saturday night I started to have like a lot of weird feelings. I just kind of was. I was super dizzy. I started getting super nauseous, my right side pain came back even more intense. I could barely move. I just felt like I was just shutting down, and so we didn't know what to do. So we called the OB and they were like well, if you have an issue, go to the ER then. And I was like seriously, are you going to talk to me about my issue? And they're like no, we only help when you're pregnant. Really, just go to the ER. If it's something that they need to call us for, they will.
Ellie: 40:52
And so I went to the ER. My dad took me, while Miguel stayed home with the babies and I was thinking I'm going to show up. They're going to tell me that everything is normal. This is normal recovery pain, like I've been told a hundred times before. And so I'm sitting there and I was already on oxycodone as a recovery from the C-section and that wasn't working. I could still feel all this pain. So when I got there, they added on some I believe it was a low dose of Vicodin. They put me on to try to help with the pain as well, and that made me loopy, but I could still feel the pain and they took me in for a CT scan.
Ellie: 41:34
And the doctor comes back and sits down in the chair, rolls it on over and she goes. So you have an appendicitis. And I was like what? Like are you kidding me? Where did this come from? Like what? And I'm just like sitting there staring at her Like it's like, are you serious? And then then it's like clicking. I was like OK, cool, what else you know? Like just sure. And she was like do you have pain on that right side? And I was like yep, and she goes. Well, we've prepped an OR. We're going to get ready to take you upstairs. Do you have any questions? And I was like out of nowhere. And I was like out of nowhere, now I'm having another major abdominal surgery.
Angela: 42:12
One week later.
Ellie: 42:13
One week later, yeah. So I'm sitting there and I'm like how long have I had this? Like I've got so many questions, and I was like, do you know? Like is there any way to tell how long this has been here? She goes well, have you had right side pain before? And I was like I've had this exact pain since April 10th, Like I can tell you the day. And she goes that's probably when it started.
Ellie: 42:37
And I was like, well, it's funny, because that day they had talked about doing a scan to check my appendix and my gallbladder, but then they never ended up doing it because they assumed that I was in preterm labor and the surgeon said that when you have an appendicitis and you're pregnant, it can mimic contractions, Like it can make your body start to. Yeah, so she said it really kind of is irrelevant that they um, if they had found it then there's not a lot they could have done, because they either could have, there was no way to remove it without hurting me or the babies, so they would have had to birth the babies early, Um, or you know, if it had ruptured, all three of us would have died. So it was kind of like a scary thing to hear that. Then, thinking back to all those appointments where I was like, please do something, please take them, please. You know that was I guess my mom got saying that this is not healthy, this isn't good, there's really something wrong. So now it's taught me that I need to trust my mom got even more than normal.
Ellie: 43:43
So, anyways, they put me through the appendix surgery and that was the recovery from that. And that was the recovery from that. The following, I'd say six to eight hours was probably the most pain I've ever felt in my life. I was really, really struggling because I was nursing at the time but I didn't have my breast pump. I didn't have any way of relieving that because I didn't expect to be admitted to the hospital and to go through surgery. So I had now gone 10 to 12 hours without pumping and I'm also trying to build my milk supply. So that ruined my milk supply. I was in a ton of pain from the C-section already. My scar was very sensitive and it hurt really bad. And now I have three. They added three additional incisions on my stomach for the appendicitis. Since my uterus was still enlarged, they had to put the incisions in different spots than they normally would, because they had to find my appendix, since it wasn't where it was supposed to be.
Angela: 44:47
So if they had done the scan at least before even if there's nothing they could have done, if they at least knew about it, then maybe you could have only had one surgery instead.
Ellie: 44:55
Right, they could have taken it out with the C-section and it would have been a complicated C-section, but then at least it would have been, you know, everything done at once and the recovery could have been smoother, hopefully. But nope, that's not how it worked and so I was stuck alone in a hospital room. There was nobody in there with me when I was recovering. There was one nurse that ended up coming on her shift and she got assigned to me in my room my poor roommate. I felt bad, I was screaming all night long, but this nurse sat with me by my bedside from when I got up there around 1 am. My surgery was around midnight and then I got up there around 1. The nurse sat with me until her shift was over at 6 in the morning. She didn't leave my side of the bed unless she needed to grab something for me, which was amazing for her to do. I just needed somebody to help me get through it and she held my hand and she helped me try to use a hand pump to try to keep get some relief of some sort. I was pumping and dumping at this point because I was on so many different medications and it was just. It was a lot. It was a lot. So, yeah, then I was on.
Ellie: 46:09
I mean, after that I started to feel a little bit better. I still had some pain with my C-section scar. I kept reaching out to my doctor and they said, if you're having pain, you can go back to the ER. And I was like, okay, I'll bring the girls. And my appointment was for like 1245 that day and I go in. And they made me wait over an hour with two newborns in the room just sitting by myself and I was like what am I supposed to do? They're on a feeding schedule Like I again didn't have my pump stuff Like I'm struggling here.
Angela: 46:53
How long did your appointment end up being for that day when you finally made it in there?
Ellie: 46:56
So she actually came in and left within like 10 minutes so, but I had to wait over an hour for her to actually come into the room. And I called them from the room, like I called the front desk, and they were like, oh, women, northern white women's health. And I was like hi, I'm sitting back in your appointment room with two newborn babies and there's nobody here and I can't do this. Like is is, can I have any sort of update? Is Dr Rinaldi coming anytime soon? And then, sure enough, within like the next few minutes, dr Rinaldi appeared in the room. So I was like, interesting how that works. Not the first time, that wasn't the last time that I got left in those rooms. I'm waiting for the doctors to come in. It's like they can't. They're so much all over the place that they couldn't be there.
Angela: 47:47
This happened a lot, so that part was really frustrating um, this happened a lot, so that part was really frustrating. Did she address like your pain with your wound healing and stuff in that appointment, or was it sort of like what do you need for birth control?
Ellie: 48:00
um, it was very much. What do you want to do for birth control? That was pretty much the only question. She did a pap smear and asked me what I want to do for birth control and then moved on. I didn't score well on my postpartum depression scale. I actually got a really rough score and we didn't even talk about that, didn't even acknowledge it.
Ellie: 48:19
They she had a student with her, a med student, and the med student was holding one of the babies. That was fussy while she was doing like the pap smear and stuff and checking out. She did check out my scar very quickly and said that there was a yeast infection. So she said to just put some monostat cream on it and then say goodbye and I was like it feels deeper but okay. But I was really frustrated with her. She didn't know about my appendicitis. She didn't know that I had had that surgery eight days after giving, after the C-section. So I was like how do you not know this stuff? Like I feel like that's pretty important to know for my recovery. I was, I was, be, I.
Ellie: 48:58
I don't think I ever go back to Dr Rinaldi, unfortunately. I've heard that she's a great doctor for many other people, but I did not have a good experience. I did not feel heard and I just felt like I was another box that she could check off as being done and it's. It's really unfortunate that that was. My first experience was that I just kind of got blown off a lot. So it got to the point where I wasn't being treated for my postpartum depression. So I went to my primary care um, who was brand new, like I, I didn't have one Um. My other doctors kept being being done, so I just kept getting thrown around. So I finally went to one in August and I said, hey, I just had a couple of babies. And she goes oh, okay, well, let's do a postpartum scale. And my score was like a 13. And the line is like 11, that they want you, that they have concern, and so she was like yep, you're a little too high, what are we going to do about this?
Ellie: 49:54
And I was like oh, that's a refreshing change of pace. We're going to do something. And so we talked about a plan and she said, okay, we'll try this, but I don't want to not be checking in on you. So you're coming back in two weeks, You're coming back in four weeks, You're coming back in six weeks. And she insisted that I come. And so I did. I followed up at all those appointments. She kept talking, she kept sending me messages on the portal. We just kept that communication really open, which was great. And then we're still actually communicating about it because I still feel like we're not quite where it should be.
Ellie: 50:39
But then things got worse again, as if I couldn't catch another break. At four months postpartum my incision reopened and it was about the size of, like, I would say, a little bit bigger than a nickel, and it was painful. It was scary. Like I had a hole in my incision four months after giving birth, so it should have completely healed by then. So I went to my PCP, because I already had those appointments, and I said, look, it reopened and she goes. I really recommend that you go back to your OB. And I said listen, here's my experience. I did not feel heard. I was told over and over that things were normal. When they weren't, I had a really rough experience and I don't feel comfortable going back. And she said well, look, your options are pretty limited, Unfortunately. She said I would help you but I don't have the area of expertise in this and you could get a new OB. But the issue is going to be that they are going to send you back to the surgeon that did it as long as they're still practicing, because they don't want the responsibility of somebody else's mistakes. For and I was like, seriously like. So I made an appointment with Dr Query and I was like you know what? It'll be okay, I had a good experience with Dr Query. So I went back and things were okay. She cauterized the opening. She had no idea why it had opened. She was just as baffled, but they did a cauterization which was pretty painful for a few days and we waited two weeks to see if it would start to close and in two weeks it got. Finally it got a little bit better.
Ellie: 52:07
But during that time my PCP had taken a swab of the incision to make sure there was no infection and they sent it away and they found a staph infection and so then I got put on antibiotics and I had to do that for two weeks and it was just like they. It was such a mess. They didn't send enough antibiotics in. They didn't send it in in a format that I could take it. I can't swallow pills. I've got a throat condition so I needed a liquid and they sent them both times in as pills. So I didn't get a good antibiotic rotation.
Ellie: 52:43
And when I went to go see Dr Query, she goes it doesn't look infected, I'll just do the cauterization and we'll just. I mean, if it ends up being infected based on what they find, then we'll just do some antibiotics. But it doesn't look infected and I was like it's oozing yellow pus, but okay, so it was just. I had a very frustrating experience over and over. So here I am, almost six months postpartum and I finally have the wound closed, which is good. It opened slightly in another spot, but we got ahead of that one and it's just been a whirlwind of a journey.
Ellie: 53:24
I do not plan to go back to Northern Light Women's Health. They saw some of the messages that I sent my PCP explaining my discomfort and my dissatisfaction with my care, and Dr Query apologized for it. When I saw her. She was like I saw those messages, which means that she read my file, and which means that she read my file. And she was like and I just want to say that I'm sorry that you didn't receive the care that you have wanted and that you deserved and I was like, yeah, me too, because you know that's not something you can take back, that's not.
Ellie: 53:54
And so, moving forward, if we do decide to have another child or if there's any more issues, we will definitely be finding a alternative practice practice to uh to go see, probably down east, or we'll travel further because this is, uh, not something we're willing to compromise on.
Angela: 54:15
Moving forward yeah, how you're treated in those like vulnerable times, like you're literally, you're like most vulnerable. You know moments is something you really don't forget.
Ellie: 54:33
Yeah, and I think it's like one of those things where, in the moment, you want to just pretend like this is okay and you don't want to cause any conflict and you assume that the medical professionals know what they're doing and know what's best. And I think it's a good reminder that in the end, there's a lot of times where you know yourself more than they know you and even if they know the medical pieces, they might not always know every unique case. So it's always good to advocate for what you need and what feels right in that moment.
Angela: 55:01
Advocate for what you need and what feels right in that moment you have to really trust your gut and advocate and sometimes seek that second opinion, which is so hard when there's literally no providers. Where are you supposed to go for a second opinion An hour away is your choice, and that's a hard choice to make. That's not easy.
Ellie: 55:22
It is. We chose to live in a town that's close to a major hospital in Maine for the reason that we would have care, we would have, you know, help immediately. I think it takes us like 11 minutes to get to the hospital, so that was really important to us. And then to know that the care that we received there wasn't necessarily the best, and I mean the nursing staff was amazing and I think that the providers did what they could. I think they had an overwhelming amount of caseload.
Ellie: 55:49
This is me. I tend to go in the support of everybody and understand why they make the decisions that they make, but in the end, I almost lost my life and my girls almost lost their life because of something that wasn't followed through and there was a ton of malpractice that happened, and I just wish that they I my hope is that they change and have a different approach and take the time to sit and listen to what their patients are saying, moving forward, because in the end, like that's what you're there for. You're there for your patients and be in that moment with your patients, I just it's frustrating.
Angela: 56:31
Yeah, it is. It's just it's so hard. Oh my goodness, that was quite the story, you didn't? You warned me.
Ellie: 56:39
Yes, a very unique situation and I hope it doesn't happen to anybody else. But, like I said, we are in a very good spot now. We have two beautiful, healthy babies and they are thriving and we're just soaking up every second we can with them, and I'm on a good path to recovery, still struggling with a lot of the postpartum depression pieces, but getting through that one step at a time and doing what I need to do, setting doctors aside.
Angela: 57:08
I'm sure, I mean just I'm sure. Having two babies at the same time, it is a huge thing to adjust to. But on top of, you know, a second surgery a week after your. That's just so much to to mentally deal with. And then the wound opening is like, oh my gosh, like stop like, yeah, can we just call it good, can we just?
Ellie: 57:31
you know, I almost, I almost asked them when they did my appendix surgery. I said, can you just take the gallbladder out too, so we don't have that issue moving forward like any non-essential items, like let's just get them out, but at least I know, moving forward, that you know this is what I need to do, this is what I need to look out for and if I decide to have another kid, at least I or kids, however it happens, at least I know that I, a I'm going to find a new OB and B, that the gut is right, that when you feel like something's wrong, that usually means something is wrong. But I mean, like I say everyone's like, oh, two babies, that seems like a lot. Luckily I don't know any different. So if I'm going to have twins, I'm glad I had them first. So that's my norm is, you know, double of everything.
Ellie: 58:25
It's interesting when people see me like carrying one baby and like three bags of groceries. They're like oh, do you need a hand? And I'm like no, this is a light load compared to normal. You know, like usually I got both babies and three bags of groceries, so at least it makes me more resilient in that way, and you know, I'm grateful for every second that I get with them.
Angela: 58:40
So yeah, absolutely, it's amazing. Definitely enjoy all of those little snuggles because they get things so fast, right? Yes?
Ellie: 58:49
they do, yes, they do.
Angela: 58:52
Well, thank you so much, Ellie, for sharing your story today. It was a pleasure talking with you.
Ellie: 58:57
Yes, thank you. I'm glad that you're doing this to help spread that awareness and create that network. It's awesome.
Angela: 59:11
And that's the end of another episode of the my Main Birth podcast. Thank you for joining me and listening. I hope that the stories shared here have been inspiring and informative to all of my listeners. If you're looking to capture your own birth story, I highly recommend considering my birth photography services. I'm a professional photographer and I'm very passionate about capturing the raw and emotional moments of the birthing process, and I design a personalized and intimate photo album, creating a beautiful and lasting memory of one of the most special moments of your life. For more information, head over to mymainphotocom and schedule a call with me. Thanks again for tuning in and I look forward to bringing you more amazing birth stories. Don't forget to subscribe and leave me a review, and I'll see you back here again next week.