MyMaine Birth, Julie’s Journey with IVF and her Emergency Cesarean at 26 Weeks
Welcome to MyMaine Birth, a space where we share the real life stories of families and their unique birth experiences in the beautiful state of Maine. From our state’s biggest hospitals, to birth center births, and home births every birth story deserves to be heard and celebrated.
Julie's journey towards motherhood was anything but straightforward. After years of trying to conceive naturally, she and her husband Pete were confronted with a diagnosis that would change their lives forever: unexplained infertility. At an age where society deems pregnancy 'advanced,' they turned to in vitro fertilization (IVF) with hopeful hearts. This episode of the podcast delves deep into their story, laying bare the emotional and physical challenges they faced along the way.
Their path was fraught with the hurdles of IVF, a process marked by endless ultrasounds, injections, and the ever-looming uncertainty. Yet, their persistence paid off with a successful embryo transfer. As Julie's pregnancy progressed under careful medical supervision, everything seemed on track. That is until the 26th week when a lack of fetal movement sparked concern. What followed was a harrowing rush to the hospital, where a series of ultrasounds revealed an unthinkable reality: their baby might have suffered a stroke in utero or a neurological defect.
As the medical team worked against the clock, the situation escalated to an emergency birth. The decision to deliver their daughter at just over six months was made in a matter of minutes. This podcast episode doesn't shy away from the gritty details of this traumatic experience, from the NICU to the eventual joy of bringing their daughter Gracie home after 105 days. Julie's candid recount serves as a powerful reminder of the unpredictable nature of pregnancy and childbirth.
Moreover, the episode explores the aftermath of such a dramatic entry into parenthood. The postpartum period is often glossed over, but for Julie, it involved navigating the complexities of recovery from a classic C-section, adjusting to life with a baby in the NICU, and coming to terms with the fact that Gracie would be their only child. Through their ordeal, Julie emphasizes the importance of self-advocacy, seeking quality healthcare, and the healing power of counseling.
This episode also touches on the beauty of preserving birth stories through photography. The raw emotions and pivotal moments captured in these photos can be cherished for a lifetime. It's a conversation that highlights how such keepsakes can provide comfort and a sense of closure for parents who may not have had the birth experience they envisioned.
The episode ends with a message of hope and resilience. Julie and Pete's journey, though marked by fear and uncertainty, is ultimately a testament to the strength of the human spirit. Their story is a beacon for others facing similar struggles, offering insight into the world of IVF, premature birth, and the incredible power of parental love.
In sharing her narrative, Julie opens up about the societal pressures and personal expectations that come with motherhood. She advocates for a compassionate approach to the unique challenges each family may face and encourages listeners to share their stories as well. Her experience serves as an inspiration, reminding us all of the courage it takes to bring new life into this world and the profound impact these journeys have on our lives.
Today I want to take a moment to acknowledge that not all birth experiences go as planned. For the mamas that are currently pregnant, you may want to shield yourself from potentially triggering stories. I want to take this moment to honor your emotional well-being and provide a compassionate trigger warning.
For the rest of the week, we are going to hear powerful stories that shed light on the challenges, the unexpected turns, and the emotional aftermath of a birth story that does not go as you imagined it would. I believe it’s important to create a safe space for these narratives, to raise awareness, and to support those who have gone through a difficult birth experience.
To all the pregnant mothers listening, I encourage you to assess your emotional readiness for today’s episode. If hearing stories of birth trauma might not be what you need at the moment, I completely understand. Please skip the rest of the episodes for this week and join me again next week on Monday for a powerful birth story.
For those who have recently experienced birth trauma yourself, I want you to know that you are not alone. I see you, I hear you, and I am here to support you.
In addition to my weekly podcast and my adventures around Maine as a Birth Attendant and Birth Photographer, I offer a virtual service designed specifically for mothers who need to process their birth stories.
My Birth Debrief’s over zoom provide a safe and confidential space to explore your emotions, find healing, and work through any lingering feelings of disappointment, fear, or grief.
I’m an experienced birth professional and I am ready to listen with empathy, offer guidance, and help you navigate the complexities of your birth experience. Click HERE to learn more and schedule a Birth Debrief.
Remember, your story matters, and I’m here to support you every step of the way. Together, we can heal, grow, and find strength in our shared experiences.
Thank you for joining me today on MyMaine Birth and remember to take care of yourself and each other. And as always, let’s keep the conversation going! You can always message me over on social media, you can find me on Facebook and Instagram @mymainebirth
Angela: 0:01
Welcome to my Maine Birth, a space where we share the real-life stories of families and their unique birth experiences in the beautiful state of Maine, From our state's biggest hospitals to birth center births and home births. Every birth story deserves to be heard and celebrated. For those that don't know me yet, I'm Angela, your host, and today I want to take a moment to acknowledge that not all birth experiences are filled with joy and celebration. For the mamas that are currently pregnant, you may want to shield yourself from potentially triggering stories, so I want to take this moment to honor your emotional well-being and provide a compassionate trigger warning For the rest of the week. We're going to hear powerful stories that shed light on the challenges, the unexpected turns and the emotional aftermath of a birth story that does not go as you imagined it would. I believe it's important to create a safe space for these narratives, to raise awareness and to support those who have gone through difficult birth experiences. To all the pregnant mothers listening, I encourage you to assess your emotional readiness for today's episode. If hearing stories of birth trauma might not be what you need at the moment, I completely understand. Please feel free to skip the rest of the episodes for this week and join me again next week for an empowering birth story on Monday. Me again next week for an empowering birth story on Monday.
Angela: 1:28
For those who have recently experienced birth trauma yourself, I want you to know that you are not alone. I see you, I hear you and I'm here to support you. In addition to my weekly podcast and my adventures across Maine as a doula and birth photographer, I offer a virtual service designed specifically for mothers who need to process their birth stories. My birth trauma healing sessions over Zoom provide a safe and confidential space to explore your emotions, find healing and work through any lingering feelings of disappointment, fear or grief. I'm an experienced birth professional and I'm ready to listen with empathy, offer guidance and help you navigate the complexities of your birth experience. If you're interested in scheduling a birth trauma healing session, visit my website mymainphotocom to learn more and to book your session. Remember your story matters and I'm here to support you every step of the way. Together, we can heal, grow and find strength in our shared experiences.
Angela: 2:35
Thank you for joining me today on my Main Birth and remember to take care of yourself and each other and, as always, let's keep the conversation going. You can always message me over on social media. You can find me on Facebook or Instagram. At MyMainBirth, today's birth story guest is Julie, and she shares her journey with IVF and the story of her daughter's emergent birth at 26 weeks. Hi Julie, welcome to MyMainBirth. Thanks for taking the time to chat with me this afternoon. Yeah, yeah, I'm happy to do so. Awesome. Well, to jump right into it, do you want to start by sharing a little bit about you and your family?
Julie: 3:17
Sure, yeah. My husband, pete, and I live in Durham, where he was born and raised. We actually built a house just last year on the property that he grew up on. His parents are still next door, so we were able to split some land off and build a house and we welcomed our daughter last year. So that was an exciting year, to say the very least.
Julie: 3:38
We met about nine years ago while Pete was actually working in Pennsylvania, where I am originally from so, yes, I'm from away and he was transferred there for work, and so we met and then for the next five years dated, including the long distance, because he spent time then in Memphis, tennessee, for almost two years. He came back to Pennsylvania then and decided to get his MBA at Penn State, and that's where I was living for most of my 20s and early 30s. He finished his MBA, then we moved to Connecticut and then to Maine, so it was like a busy nine years. The last few years we decided after getting married in 2019 and then COVID. Covid hit actually the week we were supposed to be in Italy on our honeymoon, so you can imagine that did not happen around that time because he was working in Manhattan and I was already working remotely, we were like we really need to get out of here.
Julie: 4:38
So by the fall of 2020 is when we came back to Maine but then decided that we wanted to build a house and really put roots down. So that's sort of what led us to build here in Durham, where he was from. Shortly after we were married, we decided pretty quickly we wanted to start trying to have a child. I was, I guess, already 35 and he's a couple of years older, and we had been together five years at that point. So we knew that time wasn't exactly in our favor. Only because, as I'm sure other women have experienced, they like to tell you that you're advanced maternal age or geriatric pregnancy. It's like, oh my God, I'm not retired. Like, just wait a minute.
Angela: 5:18
I'm only 35.
Julie: 5:19
Exactly.
Angela: 5:20
No, don't call me geriatric.
Julie: 5:23
But in any case we didn't get too stressed about it at first, especially because COVID hit, like you know, six months later after getting married. So like because we didn't get pregnant right away, it was kind of like, okay, this isn't really the best time to be, you know, like having a child and being in a hospital anyway. So. And then we moved to Maine and so I got reestablished with a different OBGYN, who I won't mention. But I then left that practice because I wasn't, it just was not a good fit. But in any case it was probably a total of like 18 months after trying that we still weren't pregnant. And at that point it's like, okay, I'm not getting any younger. So I remember very distinctly which kind of is what led me to go to a different practice. But I had met with a doctor who wasn't even the doctor who had done my exam previously. And she just came in and just sort of very matter of factly, was like, well, you have unexplained infertility, you need to go see Boston IVF. And that's where they referred me. And I am not usually an emotional person, I'm a lawyer by trade, so like, try to keep the emotions in check. And I just remember getting out to my car that day and kind of like breaking down in tears Cause I was like wait, wait a minute, like what? And there was like really no other explanation. I'm like, generally I was like a pretty healthy individual and same thing, like my husband's healthy, like he doesn't have any issues. So it was kind of like what? Like okay. So they did refer us to Boston IVF, the location right here in South Portland, and I can't say enough wonderful things about that practice. They were amazing from the very beginning.
Julie: 6:59
So we started, right after January 1st of 2022, the IVF process. We were very fortunate. The company that Pete works for has absolutely outstanding healthcare coverage, which includes a round of IVF, and so we were able to take advantage of that. And then, at the doctor's recommendation, we did not go through IUI. He recommended, based on age, the length that we had been trying and because we had the very comprehensive healthcare coverage for 2022, we started all of the IVF medications and process and it seems like endless ultrasounds and appointments, but we were very fortunate. They were able to retrieve a large number of eggs and I would say about a half dozen fertilized and then, after advanced genetic testing, we had two. I guess they grade the embryos kind of based on quality, and we had two really good quality embryos and then a third that came back inconclusive, which didn't necessarily mean that anything was wrong with it, but just the genetic testing kind of there was an error somewhere along the way. So we did not want to pick either boy or girl. So we just told the doctor transfer the best quality embryo. And so the doctor did, and we were very fortunate that on the first transfer it resulted in a pregnancy About the same time we were moving into our new house.
Julie: 8:39
So yeah, there was quite a bit going on. In April of last year, pretty early on, I then experienced a lot of morning sickness. I am not one of those that like looks back fondly on my pregnancy. I was pretty sick. So fortunately I work from home so I could take advantage of like taking a minute to compose myself and then get back to work. But yeah, for like I would say, the first like 18 weeks I was not feeling myself. But then, because of my age and because we did IVF, you know I had regular ultrasounds After we got pregnant I did get established with a different OB's office in Portland and had a wonderful experience with them and they monitored me very closely and otherwise, despite not feeling well, it was a pretty traditional pregnancy. At about 20 weeks they required us to have an advanced cardiac ultrasound because of doing IVF and my age and I think it was about 22 weeks till we actually had that, but everything checked out. So I remember like a big sigh of relief when you get to that point you're over halfway and so we felt like pretty confident at that point and I was also starting to feel better.
Julie: 9:56
So around 25 weeks we decided to go back to State College, pennsylvania, where we were living, where Penn State is for a football game, my husband had some meetings in State College and I wanted to visit friends and former coworkers and I remember that week leading up to it I was not feeling as much movement as I previously had, specifically at nighttime when I would lay down Leading up to that. It used to be like I called her, she was doing her evening gymnastics and I remember that week thinking like oh, she's just not moving as much. But you know the doctors say like up until 28 weeks they don't really have you like formally worry about like movement counts. So just try to like stay calm, you know, hydrated, stay active. You know like trying not to overthink it. But again, this was a first pregnancy, so it's hard not to, you know, even even though they tell you not to.
Julie: 10:55
In any event, we, we flew into state college. I remember very distinctly the first night saying to my husband like she's still not moving a whole lot, and he was like, well, we just travel, like you're in a new place, like you know, just stay calm. So the weekend went on in the back of my head. I was still sort of just like what's going on, sort of thing. And so then we flew home Saturday evening. Sunday we celebrated my father-in-law's birthday and my mother-in-law made like a rich chocolate dessert that he loves for his birthday. And that night I laid down. Still, she like wasn't doing her normal evening gymnastics and I was. I finally said to Pete my husband I'm going to go, I think, to the doctor tomorrow Cause I just something, I feel like something's not right. And so I went ahead and I called first thing Monday morning.
Julie: 11:45
This doctor's office was great. I know some folks when they're going through pregnancy, feel like they're not being heard If they have a concern. I never once felt like that. I expressed my concerns, they got me in within a couple hours, hooked me up to a monitor and, sure enough, she was not moving around a whole lot. So the nurse said we're going to have you just kind of relax, gave me some juice, some crackers, trying to like get some sugar in me to see what would happen. And she still didn't perk up a whole lot. And so they and I think I was probably still blissfully unaware of of the situation at the time, because I was 26 weeks and three days when this was happening and so they're like we're going to send you over to Maine Medical Center to the labor and delivery triage and we're going to have you monitored. So I said, okay, like I'm glad they're taking this seriously hooked me up to a monitor and I spent the rest of the afternoon there, had my husband come in after work and they were like we're going to admit you because she's moving, but something isn't quite right and we don't know what. So I was like, oh, okay, so you know, we kind of alerted our families, but again I Didn't think it was anything too serious. And then over the next two days I had, I think, one or two ultrasounds and then I was being monitored around the clock.
Julie: 13:05
Of course, on Tuesday evening we were seen by the attending physician from my OB's practice and she came in and she delivered the news that they weren't exactly sure what was going on, but they thought that our daughter had either suffered a stroke in utero or was going to have some sort of neurological defect. And we just remember thinking like it was like a ton of bricks. We immediately got like incredibly emotional because it was like well, how is this even possible? A few short weeks ago we had the advanced ultrasound. Everything was normal, there were no concerns, and I've been otherwise pretty healthy at this point because leading up to it I had been so, so sick, with morning sickness, but I had no injuries, no other illnesses. So it was just like how is this even possible? And I remember thinking at the time like like what, how did we get this far? And then I remember saying to like well, what are our options? Like how do you deliver a baby that has had these things? And so it was a very emotional time.
Julie: 14:16
Very early on I couldn't even really talk about it, to be honest, but now that a year almost has gone by, I feel a little more empowered talking about it, and I probably should have prefaced all of this by saying I want to share it because I am not to scare other soon-to-be mothers, but just also know that sometimes things can happen that really don't have an explanation, and why it's so important to ask questions, be informed, get good care whatever fits for your lifestyle, make sure you're like pursuing the kind of care that you think is best for you. For us that was pretty traditional medical care, but in any event, later that evening in the hospital they even sent the chaplain in, which I think is when it like really hit home, that like, and sent the chaplain in, which I think is when it like really hit home, that like, okay, something's not right here. And so then they advised us that in the morning first thing, the head of maternal fetal medicine would be coming in to meet with us and then at some point I would be having another advanced cardiac ultrasound, and I do recall that happening. Because it was a mobile unit, they could actually do it in the room, so I didn't have to leave. And then first thing Wednesday morning, the head of maternal fetal medicine came in and he was. He was very good, but he was basically pretty blunt and saying there's something not right, but we don't know what. But he said you know his job is to evaluate is the baby safer inside or being delivered?
Julie: 15:41
And at the time, even though something wasn't right, the baby was still safer inside, which was like really hard news to hear, because it's like, well, when there's a problem like you want to solve that problem, and one of which I said you know, please don't take this in any way that I'm not receiving good quality care here but I said do I need to be at like a higher level hospital, like, do I need to be transferred to Boston? And I will always remember his response because he's like well, you're not stable enough to travel, and I like that also hit me like a ton of bricks because I was like well, what I feel? Ok, otherwise, you know, he's like no, you need to be. He's like I. Obviously, if you choose to sign yourself out, you can. He's like, but I can't recommend transferring you Cause he's like you're not stable enough to do so, and I just it was such an out of body experience Cause none of it was ever on our radar, and so we then were called down, I think shortly after he was there and he just said, like you're going to be here for the long haul, until it gets to a point when it's safer to have the baby delivered than to keep the baby inside.
Julie: 16:50
So I said, okay, I remember thinking how am I going to work from here? And I at this point I'm like this could be months, like cause I was 26 weeks. I remember thinking my dog's at home, like I wanted my dog to go to come in and be with me, but in any event they. He said, basically you would have like routine ultrasounds going forward and I'd be like 24, seven monitored, with the heart monitor on. So that morning, shortly after he left it was probably eight, 39 o'clock in the morning he had me go down for another ultrasound and I was allowed to walk. You know they had me on a wireless monitor.
Julie: 17:25
So again I think, blissfully unaware of the severity of the situation, we got down into the ultrasound room. Both Pete and myself were pretty just subdued, like from the night before to this, like it was sort of we were just like preparing for the worst and having to make like really, really heavy decisions that we just never even contemplated having to ever make. And so we were pretty quiet. I think I probably cried most of the time, understandably. The ultrasound tech was pretty quiet too and, I think, understood kind of the situation that we were facing. And I remember her completing the ultrasound and she's like, okay, I'm going to call the doctor. I didn't think anything of it. She came back in the room and said, okay, like you can go upstairs.
Julie: 18:09
We got back in the elevator and went up a few floors to the floor that I had spent the last two nights in, and we rounded the corner off of the elevator and I just remember it being like a scene from a movie. There were two, if not three, nurses there. They said, julie, things are going to happen very, very quickly, started taking my clothes off, putting me in a hospital gown and put me on a stretcher. They let me kiss Pete goodbye. And it was one of those moments where, like, I will remember his face kind of forever, but they said we have to deliver this baby right now. I will remember his face kind of forever, but they said we have to deliver this baby right now.
Julie: 18:41
And I was just speechless because I was like what on earth happened within the last couple of hours. So they wheeled me very fast downstairs to surgery where the attending OB from my practice, who was in surgery for that day she met me at the entrance of the surgery room. Of course Pete was not allowed in, and I just remember asking what happened and she said I guess and it was very quick something to the effect of that ultrasounds are graded on a scale of like zero to eight I think it's four criteria, and previously my ultrasounds had been like a four or a six. That morning it was a zero, and so they had to deliver the baby immediately. And so the next thing I know I was in the emergency or the surgery room. There were probably a dozen plus people in there. And then I remember looking off to my left and now recalling too, that was the NICU team waiting in the wing, which, like I wouldn't have even had a thought in my head to think that they would be in the surgery room with me. And of course then I was placed under general anesthesia and at 10.03 on that morning, gracie, our daughter, was born. She was pretty severely anemic, so she received two blood transfusions, one in the operating room as the NICU team was working on her, and then later that day, once they transferred her upstairs to the NICU, she received another one. She was born weighing one pound 15 ounces, so she was teeny, tiny.
Julie: 20:15
But I did not wake up until about eight hours later, six or eight and when I woke up, what I recall waking up to is them taking the breathing tubes out of me. I had been intubated. When I was waking up in the intensive care unit, fortunately my husband was at the foot of the bed, so I had a friendly face and the doctor who had operated on me. She came in and explained that I had suffered from basically severe blood loss, hemorrhagic shock, and went on to explain that instead of well, basically it was a placenta abruption, in that my placenta was no longer serving the fetus and making sure that the fetus was getting what the fetus needed. But she said, unlike a placenta abruption, because I had no illness or injury that would cause that, or like a fall can cause that or an accident, and mine didn't pull away from my uterus, mine was like stuck to it, so they had to like scrape that out, which then, based on the amount of time and the process that that took, I suffered severe blood loss, like 75% of my blood. I received five blood transfusions. So folks who are listening, please donate blood.
Julie: 21:27
But she then later explained, because of the prematurity they had to do a classic C-section. So I had the typical external incision for a C-section that goes horizontally, but then internally they have to cut vertically because your cervix hasn't expanded and dilated, and all that stuff over the course of the nine months. And so during the process they then also had to administer eight doses, which I guess is the maximum of a medication that they give patients during surgery to stop or slow bleeding, and I didn't respond to it. And so my husband recalls they came out and said to him if she doesn't stop like hemorrhaging, we need to take her uterus to save her life. So that was hit him like a ton of bricks, a pretty, pretty traumatic day for us, to say the very least. But they were able to get the bleeding under control with, I guess, some different procedures they do with surgical balloons and then, like I said, they moved me up to the intensive care unit where I spent the first two and a half three days upstairs.
Julie: 22:31
The morning of my third day, I guess, I was finally then able to meet Gracie, our daughter, which we didn't have a name for just yet, and so that morning we named her, and then I spent a few more days discharged from the ICU, but in a general recovery room, and then I was able to come home from the hospital, and so it was certainly not the birth story that we envisioned. In fact, I think in my wildest dreams I never in a million years would have imagined something like this happening. I certainly am aware of maternal mortality rates and infant mortality rates in the United States, but I felt very lucky to have good medical care, so I never imagined that like a serious event like that would have happened with the birth of our daughter. And so I struggled, certainly at the beginning, during the postpartum period, because you know, you want those beautiful photos that you have on your website of those first moments. You want to be able to do skin to skin, you want your husband or your partner there with you, and we didn't have any of that because it was so early on and it was emergent, and so that was something that I really struggled with, because, as time has gone on, we discovered too that Gracie will be an only child, because it would just be far too risky for me to be pregnant again and so like those are moments that we'll just never get and so that was really hard to to sort of digest at the beginning.
Julie: 24:01
But now that like a year has gone on and kind of what motivated me to kind of share my story with you is just that I've learned that this is her story and it's beautiful regardless. And so we were just we're very blessed because then, after 105 days in the NICU, gracie was able to come home. She is doing remarkably well. We are not naive to think that every baby that comes out of the NICU is quite so fortunate. They sort of described Gracie as a feeder grower baby that she didn't really have like any critical illnesses or conditions that persisted. She was just tiny and just needed more time to grow and learn how to feed. So she spent about the first seven weeks in the traditional NICU at the Barbara Bush Center at Maine Med and then she spent like the second seven or so weeks in their continuing care nursery as she learned to feed before we could bring her home. But yeah, so I've learned to accept like this is her story and it's beautiful regardless, and I don't share like the gory details to scare future moms and future parents.
Julie: 25:10
But to know, like to trust your gut, like I knew something wasn't right and if you're not being heard, get a different practitioner. Make sure you're getting heard, ask questions, because if I wouldn't have done some of those things like I know, the outcome would have been could have been very, very different. So that's sort of our story as far as, like, postpartum, the recovery process was long, probably because I had a more invasive C-section than the average C-section, plus I was also yeah, I was trying to rest, but I also then needed to go into the NICU every day to see my daughter. So, you know, thankful for good family. My mom was here for multiple weeks so she could drive me into the hospital since my husband went back to work. So we kind of did like I did day shift NICU and he went in after work, and we did that for quite some time.
Julie: 26:03
I will say one of the things that helps me recover like. More recently, though, which I think is incredible, that maybe more doctors don't prescribe it, but I found a physical therapist here locally in Yarmouth. It's fantastic, and she focuses on postpartum recovery, pelvic floor health. She also does like massage therapy and she did cupping therapy, because I had pretty considerable scar tissue and so my doctor was able to like refer me to person physical therapy scar tissue and so my doctor was able to like refer me to person physical therapy. And I found that to be immensely helpful these past number of months because leading up to it, I just wasn't feeling quite like myself yet and of course, they're like, oh, get back out there and exercise and do all this so that you can be the best mom for your child. But it's hard to do when you're not feeling like yourself. And so she really gave me like great stretches and exercises to start to strengthen those muscles. So that's, that is a piece of advice that I wish more new moms whether you've had a C-section or not, like I think, my God, your body does incredible things. Find somebody who can help you, try to like heal that and then get back into strengthening those muscles so you can feel more like yourself again.
Julie: 27:12
So that was like by far one of the most helpful things for me once I was cleared to like start doing that, and some other resources I found like incredibly helpful were just online, like Instagram, blogs, those kinds of things, too, that stick out to me. One is Project NICU and one is Dear NICU Mama. They came recommended to me from actually girls that I went to high school with, so 20 years ago, plus that happened to have children that ended up in the NICU, and they said it like being a new mom can feel really isolating anyway, just because you're your hormones, like you're in this constant cycle of of feeding and diapers and just not feeling like yourself, and so they're like it can be isolating anyway, but then it's it adds an added layer when you're going through all of that and your child isn't in your home because they're still in the NICU. And so I I checked out both of those, those blogs and those websites, like I said, project NICU and dear NICU mama, and both of those, those blogs and those websites, like I said, project NICU and Dear NICU Mama, and both of those just it's just other parents, other moms who share their stories and there's there's always like a sliver of something that you can relate to, no matter the message, and for me that was just very helpful so you don't feel like you're going through it alone.
Julie: 28:27
And I also, as time went on and sort of at the guidance of my OB, she also recommended that I seek out a counselor for myself too, just because I had gone through a traumatic birth. So she said any postpartum depression symptoms. I felt like I had a very good, strong family and friends support around us, but still speaking with a therapist on a regular basis at the beginning was immensely helpful because it was it was a traumatic event, and so that's something that I would certainly encourage mothers, parents who are going through or have gone through a similar traumatic birth, or even if it's a birth that goes in a manner incredibly different than what you envision, to talk to somebody about that and to know again that it's still a beautiful story and someone who can help you work through. That, I think, is invaluable and you owe it to yourself, you owe it to your spouse or your partner, you owe it to your child. So I know those are recommendations that I have for folks who may be going through something similar, because it helped me tremendously.
Angela: 29:45
Yeah, yeah, I completely agree, really finding someone. It can be so hard to ask for help a lot of times, but it is so important in that postpartum period for sure. Yeah, absolutely, if your plan doesn't go the way that you imagined, for sure.
Julie: 30:01
Yeah, I know, I mean, and I think it's very easy to get wrapped up in, like what your friends do or if you have siblings who have had children ahead of you, or what we see online. You know, see online these picture-perfect images of what you think it's going to be, and I think it's wonderful to have a birth plan that you aspire to have happen. But if I learned anything, you also need to be flexible and make sure you have resources around you who are skilled to help you in case things go very differently. Thinking back now, we had friends who were also advanced maternal age and they had two children a couple of years ago, pretty close in age, and she really wanted to do it at home. She ended up just doing it in the local hospital, but with a doula, and she wanted to do it on natural and she was really empowering.
Julie: 30:54
About a month before Gracie actually was born and she was like you know you can do it. She shared with me different books and I think like an audio book and she's like you should. She's like you're strong, you're amazing, like it's amazing what the human body can do. So I wasating it and I was just starting to look at engaging a doula, perhaps to use down the road when Gracie would be born. So, yeah again, make your birth plan what you aspire. But we very quickly learned that sometimes these things are out of your control. And so having good care for us that was medical care we kind of chose to go the very traditional route. But whatever works for you, that's great. But then also just be flexible, knowing that sometimes it's very much out of our control and no matter what happens, it's still the birth of your child and it's a beautiful story.
Angela: 31:47
Yeah, I'm really letting go of those expectations can just really help you get through the whole process, no matter what happens, right?
Julie: 31:55
Absolutely.
Angela: 31:57
Well, thank you so much, Julie, for sharing your story today.
Julie: 32:01
Yeah, no, I'm, I'm happy to. I certainly I don't wish it upon anybody, but I'm also thankful for our story, like I'm thankful we've gone through what we've gone through. It was certainly some of the hardest days of our life, but I think it certainly made my husband and I stronger, our relationship stronger, and I'm sure we'll share that story with our daughter someday. But we also know that I think she's going to be a pretty determined little girl, because she had to be a fighter from day one.
Angela: 32:29
And that's the end of another episode of the my Main Birth podcast. Thank you for joining me and listening. I hope that the stories shared here have been inspiring and informative to all of my listeners. If you're looking to capture your own birth story, I highly recommend considering my birth photography services. I'm a professional photographer and I'm very passionate about capturing the raw and emotional moments of the birthing process, and I design a personalized and intimate photo album, creating a beautiful and lasting memory of one of the most special moments of your life. For more information, head over to myainPhotocom and schedule a call with me. Thanks again for tuning in and I look forward to bringing you more amazing birth stories. Don't forget to subscribe and leave me a review, and I'll see you back here again next week.