61. My Maine Birth: Tess’s Two Birth Stories with care from NL Mercy Midwives in Portland, Maine
Tess: 0:00
I described it before as having an out of body experience, but someone said it better as an out of mind experience, because my body totally knew what it was doing but my mind was somewhere else, like I felt like I had a bunch of people around me helping, but I like have the hardest time remembering actually being in my body and in my mind, in my body and in my mind.
Angela: 0:25
I'm Angela and you're listening to my Maine Birth, a space where we share the real-life stories of families and their unique birth experiences in the beautiful state of Maine, From our state's biggest hospitals to birth center births and home births. Every birth story deserves to be heard and celebrated. Whether you're a soon-to-be mom, a seasoned mother or simply interested in the world of birth, these episodes are for you. Welcome to episode 61 of the my Main Birth podcast. For today's birth story guest, we're going to be hearing from Tess, as she shares all about her two main birth stories with care from Mercy Midwives in Portland Maine. Hi, Tess, Welcome to my Main Birth. Hello, Thanks for taking the time to chat with me today.
Tess: 1:26
Yes, I'm so excited. I love talking about birth, and so it's nice to talk to someone who likes it too.
Angela: 1:33
Oh my gosh, I totally get that. Yeah, my husband's like done hearing about birth Awesome. So, to get started, will you share a little bit about you and your family? Awesome.
Tess: 1:45
So, to get started, will you share a little bit about you and your family? Yes, so my husband and I are originally from Utah, actually, and we moved out here when he started dental school four years ago I guess almost four years in 2020, which was a really weird time to move because it took a long time to get snow people. But, yeah, we had other options. But when we visited Maine, when he interviewed, I knew that we needed to take the opportunity to live in Maine if we could, and since being here, we have just fallen in love with Maine and plan to stay. And so, yeah, prior to coming to Maine, I studied public health and minored in Latin American studies at the University of Utah and then worked my first year out here. But yeah, I guess that's us before babies.
Angela: 2:35
Oh my gosh, that's so exciting. So what region of Maine are you in?
Tess: 2:40
Yes, we are in Westbrook, so just south of Portland. Yes, we are in Westbrook, so just south of Portland.
Angela: 2:45
Awesome. So tell me now about when you found out you were pregnant for the first time and a little bit about your thoughts in choosing your care.
Tess: 2:53
Yeah, so we were trying to become pregnant and weren't sure during our move if we were pregnant yet, and actually found out only four days after we got here. So, yeah, it was really exciting. And it was weird, though, to not know anyone and not be able to tell anyone. And so we actually had neighbors that moved in upstairs who were also dental students, and they told us that they just found out that they were pregnant, and I was like really excited for them and they're like it's kind of weird how excited she is for us. And then a few weeks later I told them I was pregnant too. So like, oh, now we get it. But, um, yeah, so I actually just went with the same OB my friend had upstairs because she was about a month ahead of me and so I was new here, didn't really know anyone Our families are all in Utah and so we just went with what we learned as we were here.
Tess: 3:47
Um, so, yeah, I went to all about women at the Northern light mercy hospital up until about 34 weeks pregnant, and then another friend of ours had a baby at another hospital. Not that it was necessarily negative, but she had about like nine residents come in right when she was pushing and she's like that's just not really how I pictured my birth. And so she's like, if you can have a midwife at your birth, like try to do that. And so we both switched as fast as we could at the end of our pregnancies. Not that we had a problem with any of the providers. I actually loved them and felt like they listened to me and could have given me the same birth experience. But I loved the midwives, even though I only had a short time to get to know them. I switched to Mercy Midwives, which were formerly Batco midwives, and loved them and then had them for my first birth and my second.
Angela: 4:43
So how was your pregnancy for my?
Tess: 4:46
first birth and my second. So how was your pregnancy? Yeah, so I actually I had a really smooth pregnancy, loved being pregnant. My friends didn't have the same circumstances and so they. I feel like some people hate me a little bit when I say that I love being pregnant, but I, I was grateful it was a normal pregnancy. Everything went smoothly.
Tess: 5:03
I did have a kidney stone at 31 weeks, but it's common for pregnant women to have them. But that was miserable, especially because I've had them in the past and was able to receive like morphine and like stronger medication. But this time I just passed it with heat pads and Tylenol and I was still working when it passed. But I was like, hey, this has me so ready to have a baby. Like people compare the two, and so it's like now I'm going to know for real. Um, but yeah, everything besides the kidney stone was really smooth. Uh, the last few weeks I was just getting excited because it was my first and so my mind I was like I just really felt like he would come early, even though that's not necessarily typical, like just the mother instinct. I just like I want to be right, even though everyone keeps telling me that he'll be late or whatever. So let's see, it was around four days before his due date that we actually ended up being born, but yeah.
Angela: 6:01
So how did your labor start and how did that sort of unfold with your birth experience?
Tess: 6:08
Yeah, I yeah I was really excited started walking a lot toward the end to try to get things going, even though I wasn't anywhere near like To far along or anything like that. So I don't know why I was so anxious to have him. I guess it's just you want to meet your baby, and so it was a snowy day in April because it's Maine, and so I feel like that pressure change and stuff kind of got things going. And I woke up, it was 4 30 AM on a Friday and, um, I felt a gush of water breakage and I was like whoa, I did not just pee my pants, that was a very different feeling, but it was only a little bit Like, I'd probably guess, about a quarter cup.
Tess: 6:52
And so we went into my midwife office as soon as it opened and contractions hadn't started at that point and it was like three hours maybe, just like really minor ones off and on. I actually, the week before I had lots of contractions, but they weren't intense, and so I was like, time-wise, am I in labor? And so they like took me in and they're like these are not intense, You'll know. And so then then I knew later once they started picking up, so I went into the midwives to have them check. They checked my pH to see if the water had broken and they weren't sure. And then they did the Fern test and could see clearly that it had broken Like I knew it. So they had me go home and wait for contractions to start picking up and it was just a partial break in my um water and so it things move pretty slowly and I I thought that, like the movies don't make it seem that way, so I was just waiting. I tried to stay fueled and eat like a good lunch and a good breakfast and let my husband rest while we waited for things to get going. So it was probably 12 hours later 13 that I finally felt like, okay, since it's snowing today, I want to make sure we can get to the hospital in plenty of time. I really didn't know a lot of what to expect and so we went in and I was dilated to about a four.
Tess: 8:11
They tried to limit cervical checks since my water had already broken, just to not introduce bacteria and things. But it was really crazy for me to feel like I was really in control and like they didn't check me if I didn't want to be, and I honestly hate cervical checks. I think that was one of the parts of labor I hated the most. It's just like so uncomfortable, and so, yeah, I tried to put off as much as I can, but it was hard because my labor moved so slowly to not know what was going on at all, even though it doesn't tell you that much. So I got there, was dilated to about four and I thought things would go quickly, but like, oh, we'll have a baby tonight, Like this is so exciting.
Tess: 8:58
And then hours and hours passed and it was just like intense, but like not much more going on, and so they placed an IV in my arm that I didn't need. But they're like usually if we place one, you don't need it, but if we do place if we don't place one you will need it, and so like we'll do it just in case. But it's so uncomfortable and they put it right in my wrist and I was able to move a lot. That was something that I wanted throughout my labor, and every time I got in the shower I had to take this glove over my IV and I hated it and I couldn't straighten or like move my wrist very much. So that was one thing that I did not like, um, that I didn't feel like I had much control over. Other than that it was awesome being in the shower. My midwife encouraged that I let the water run over my breasts to encourage contractions and try to get things to continue, and then I'd lean over the chair in the shower and let the hot water hit my back, and that was seriously amazing. It took away a lot of the discomfort and my husband was awesome at keeping me hydrated. He'd make sure I took six big swallows every so often and he worked really hard in the labor too. Like my clouded perspective always has me like thinking that he worked harder than I did and I was like but wait, you didn't have a baby.
Tess: 10:15
So after about 24 hours from that initial water break, it was four 30 on Saturday morning hours. From that initial water break, it was 4.30 on Saturday morning. We're like this baby's never going to come and I and my husband both just started crying when our nurse came in. We had gone through two sets of nurses at this point. So this is the night shift one, and she was awesome. She was pregnant herself and I just felt like she really helped us to try different positions. She was pregnant herself and I just felt like she really helped us to try different positions and she knew the affirmations that I needed, Like telling me that my baby was okay and that I was safe. And it was really nice because I wanted to try going unmedicated that my baby wasn't affected by the intensity of the contractions, His heart rate stayed consistent, and so it brought me a lot of comfort.
Angela: 11:03
Were they just giving you fluids at this point in the IV, or had they started any Pitocin?
Tess: 11:08
I was not attached to anything, so it was just the placement of it and I was. I didn't need it the whole time, I didn't have fluids or anything, and so it was just irritating that it was there and I didn't. I didn't have any Pitocin, but yeah, so I just I didn't have any Pitocin, but yeah, so I just had it, with no function. It was just irritating, but anyway. So, yeah, they had me try different positions. He seemed like he was needed to move down more, and so it was just uncomfortable. It had been so long that at one point I was like falling asleep between contractions. I'm rocking in the rocking chair and I tried like side lying, with an intense, like leg raise, you know all the things. But it was uncomfortable for a while. And then, yeah, when we hit that 24 hour mark, I thought he was never going to come and we were losing hope. So I was like, please check me again so we can know, like, somehow, like how much longer I can go, like somehow, like how much longer I can go. And so they went ahead and did a cervical check. I was about an eight then and I really needed something to happen. So my midwife offered and let me choose if I wanted her to break the rest of my water, and that was it. To me, the most important thing about my birth story was that I could choose everything, because I don't think there's one right way to birth, because every mother and every baby and every pregnancy is so different. And so I went ahead and let her pop the rest of my water and things got really intense, and so at that point they let me climb into the warm bath and I hit transition and I really I described it before as having an out of body experience, but someone said it better as an out of mind experience, cause my body totally knew what it was doing, but my mind was somewhere else. Like I felt like I had a bunch of people around me helping, but I like have the hardest time remembering actually being in my body and in my mind.
Tess: 13:07
So I felt the intensity of contractions as they came and they were coupling, because my son just was still kind of like twisting to get down in the right position, and so I didn't really get a lot of relief. Between contractions my husband would spray hot water on my back. I just did not know how I was going to keep going. But I did and I let those like animal, like low moans, come out and some of them got like a little scary for me and my midwife would remind me, like try to bring your tones down, like try to avoid screaming, and like relax your shoulders, and helped a lot. And so then, when they got to the point I just felt some deeper and they're like I think I think you look like you're ready to push. So they, I decided to hop out, um to push, because I wasn't as comfortable in the tub as I expected.
Tess: 14:01
Um, my knees really hurt kneeling that long. I was in there for about two hours and I was so pruney and, yeah, they even put blankets in to try to help later and that helped my knees. So, yeah, I hopped onto the bed. They had the top of it raised so I could hold onto the top and I was kneeling and I pushed for about an hour and it was crazy, I was so exhausted at that point that really, by the time I got to the ring of fire, which I always expect to be the most intense part, I didn't feel it Like.
Tess: 14:30
I felt the strength of the contractions as his head would like slide forward and make progress and then the contraction would end and I felt like such discouragement, but like when he'd slide back and the contraction would end. I'm like, oh, we were so close and I just was sobbing at this point and saying over and over, like where's my baby? And I started to get worried. Like is something wrong? Is he not going to fit? Like am I gonna need an emergency c-section? Like all of a sudden I felt like everything was going wrong, even though I was so close, and so then I felt his head crowning and they had me turn to my side because it was a little bit better.
Tess: 15:11
My knees were shaking after kneeling so long and they asked my husband to come help. They're like, oh look, he has dark hair, like you have. And, um, they had him help catch our son, which he wasn't expecting, cause he's like I want to stay up by your head the whole time if possible. And they had me reach down even as well and then help guide him out. And he grabbed one of his arms and it was like we did it.
Tess: 15:35
We finally made it to that moment, cause I had pictured it over and over again. That's what got me through the whole birth. I knew we would reach that moment when he was on my chest and and we would have made it. It was funny because around that 24 hour mark like that was such a pivotal time for me. But I remember my midwife saying, if I had to make a guess, your baby will come at brunch time and I was like, oh, I sure hope she eats brunch at like 6amm but he was born exactly at 10 am and so it was 31 hours total, about like 17, in the hospital. But that was. That was the birth story with number one. That's our son Dean wow, oh my gosh.
Angela: 16:16
Now how was the placenta birth after that?
Tess: 16:20
yeah, honestly I don't know if I'm a weirdo, but I liked birthing the placenta. I feel like, after the stretching, the intensity, like it's warm and gushy and easy, and so I was like, oh, that was kind of nice and so I didn't mind birthing the placenta and, yeah, kind of like that part of the earth.
Angela: 16:39
Nice, yeah, so did they do delayed cord clamping. Then was your cord still attached when you had birthed the placenta?
Tess: 16:46
yes, it was still attached. They did delayed clamping because I had looked into potential donation of cord blood and things like that. It's more limited here because we're further away from hospitals that take those donations and it has to be like certain days of the week, so we didn't end up donating but my baby was able to get everything he needed with the delay of the cord clamping and I loved that.
Angela: 17:11
So how was your postpartum time?
Tess: 17:13
Yeah, breastfeeding actually was so hard at first because my son had a tongue and lip tie and we didn't realize for like the first three days, and so he started dropping a lot of weight. He dropped about like 9%, and they get really concerned around 10%. And so, yeah, I had lactation specialists come in the last day that I was there and I realized that he hadn't been latching properly the whole time, and so I felt so bad because I didn't really know what it was like to breastfeed yet, and so I was like, my poor baby hasn't hardly been eating, and so, I think earlier than that, though, we realized that there was some issue with his latch and we did some spoon feeding and used a tiny syringe, and so we knew that he was getting his blood sugar up. Um, but, yeah, once she came in on that last day, they introduced a nickel shield so that he could latch deeper, and, um, yeah, that made a big difference and I could finally like hear him swallowing.
Tess: 18:11
And then at home, it was an adjustment, and I remember crying, cause I just wanted that experience that mothers have to just be able to nurse their baby right on their breasts, and I was like, are we ever going to get to that point.
Tess: 18:24
We went to so many appointments and weight checks and things, so that was hard. And then, because we live away from family, my little sister got married about a month after my baby was born and we had to travel back to Utah and so that just like throws another variable in um with recovery and everything. But things went smoothly and as soon as we got back he was able to get his tongue and lip tie lasered, which worked best for us, and then the latch. Since then we had a beautiful breastfeeding journey after that and oh, I did because I was using the nipple shield. Um, they weren't sure how I would produce and encouraged that I pump in between and I became so severely engorged I got mastitis the second week and it was just so hard at the beginning. But yeah, after working through everything after that first month it was beautiful and we were able to nurse for 14 months and I loved it.
Angela: 19:23
Wow. So will you share now about when you found out you were pregnant for the second time? Was that near the end of your breastfeeding journey?
Tess: 19:31
I had about a year off between breastfeeding and being pregnant again and that worked great for me. I know it's a different program, but I love just being able to feel like completely free and then be really ready for it again. And so we're hoping to have five kids and we're like we got to keep going, you know. And so we got excited actually last Christmas, um, about trying for baby again, and so we found out. It was actually so awesome.
Tess: 19:59
Almost a year ago it was January 7th last year that I found out that I was pregnant and the lights were off in the bathroom Like the second time. It's just like not as I don't know, it's just different, like you've done this before. And so I like took the pregnancy test and the lights were not on and the line was faint and I was like, am I not pregnant? And and the line was faint and I was like, am I not pregnant? And then we turned on the lights and I was like, oh, I am. So it was really then exciting and so it just sunk in more the few days after, yeah, and then we decided to go with the midwives because I loved that experience the first time and it was really nice to be able to get to know all of them better this time, since I had them for my care the entire time and they have a team of midwives and so on-call changes, and so it was nice to know all of them.
Angela: 20:48
So how did that look? Did you do any testing or ultrasounds, or did you feel good during your pregnancy?
Tess: 20:55
Yeah, so I actually felt more nauseous this time. Pregnancy yeah, so I actually felt more nauseous this time, and we did the ultrasound at about 12 weeks just for dating and to figure everything out. And then they did a blood test around that time where we could find out, um, the sex of the baby, and we were convinced we're having another boy, just because we couldn't imagine any different. But we were surprised that we were pregnant with a girl, and so that was something new and different and we started getting our son on board with this idea that there's going to be another baby in the house. And he really understood pretty well the whole time even though he's only two um that we were going to have another baby, and so we did that ultrasound as well as the 20 week ultrasound. And then there was one toward the end where I was just measuring different from week to week Might've even just been what I was wearing sometimes, but they just did one ultrasound at the end to make sure that my fluid wasn't low.
Angela: 21:50
So now, how were like those last few weeks of that pregnancy leading up to your labor and birth?
Tess: 22:01
of that pregnancy leading up to your labor and birth. Yeah, so this time, for some reason, like random guests, I thought that this baby would be like late, like just not on the guest due date, you know, and so I threw out a bunch of random information that didn't have any, I don't know, like actual valid support for it, but my husband's family, my mother-in-law, was planning to come take care of our son around the time that I was due and I said if I had to guess a day just off the top of my head, I would guess September 19th, which was four days after my due date. And then the closer it came, I was like why did I do this to myself? Like she went over a few days and I was like I I did this, like I guessed that I manifested that this would happen. It was funny too, because she was due close to labor day. In my mind, all of a sudden I was like I need to have her on labor day, even though like that had no validity either. But I just like making myself crazy that like she needed to come sooner. But yeah, so I was just trying to be patient those last days I had a lot of pedromal labor this time, and so I felt like a lot of progression at some points and then it would just stop. I felt really discouraged. And then I, each day that I got closer, I felt like I was getting further from meeting my baby and it was the craziest experience, and so I just really wanted to trust my body and my baby and I felt like we were close and I opted to not do any cervical checks this time because I hated them so much the first time and so I really had no idea where I was at. And then I hit the 40 weeks and I was like this is crazy, because I had my son before then. Even though it's not that wild, it's typical and yeah.
Tess: 23:46
So then, four days after the due date around midnight, I had gone to bed early with my son and just snuggled him and I just, I don't know, I was like having those last moments with him without realizing before having two babies, and we both fell asleep early. And then I woke up around midnight and was having contractions and I was always like trying to do things like the mile circuit to keep things going, and so I just would breathe through contractions and I, um, um, really, um, convinced that birth is such a divine experience, and like I have a strong relationship with God in my life, and so I said a little prayer and I was like I want this labor to keep going, so like, help me know what to do. So it will. And so, like, the first thoughts that came to me were one to like go eat some toast. And then the other one was to take a shower, and so I did that and I was like this will get me toast. And then the other one was to take a shower, and so I did that and I was like this will get me fueled. And then shower can typically like help contractions keep going, but I did feel them get more intense. I was trying to time them and they didn't really go away. So I did that for about two and a half hours and then, finally, like let my husband know, I let him sleep with his whole time, cause I know it's exhausting.
Tess: 25:01
And I had a few wishes for this labor. Like I didn't want cervical checks, I just hoped, because the first one was so long that somehow this one would be less than seven hours. Like I just hoped that. And then, yeah, I just wanted to trust, trust the baby and not have to be induced if I didn't need to. And oh, one more thing is that I hoped that I'd get to the hospital and I was dilated to a seven without any checks. I just wanted to feel that and know that.
Tess: 25:29
And so I kept breathing through contractions and my husband's friend was going to come stay with our son when we first went in Cause my mother-in-law was flying out that evening and so, like we were just hours apart from her arriving and it was September 19th, so that day that I randomly guessed and I was like this is crazy. So we ended up. I was like you guys don't usually go into school until like seven, so I'm like maybe I can breathe through these for a few more hours. And then the next one hit and I was like, okay, call him right now. It was a rainy day and so he drove up. They live there, but they have a few kids as well, and so they know our son. Well, it's about a 40 minute drive. So he started driving up.
Tess: 26:14
I kept breathing through contractions and they were getting more and more intense. I had to lean forward and slow down. I called my midwife and she's like okay, I'll head toward the hospital. And when we got to the hospital I was like okay, let's sit through one more contraction in the car and then I'll walk in Cause at this point walking was encouraging the contractions and so I had to stop and breathe through them twice, just from the parking lot into the lobby. And when we got there it was 2 AM. Let's see, maybe it wasn't, it was 4 AM and so the front doors were locked and they're like you have to walk around the hospital and go in the emergency room entrance. And I was like I cannot do that. And so, luckily, my midwife showed up right at the same time and she had access to get in that door, and so I had to stop at that first counter and breathe through a contraction.
Tess: 27:07
We got up to the labor and delivery floor and they're like we just need you to sign a few consent forms. And my midwife's like no, let's just get her in, we can do it in the room. And they're like it's so fast, it's two signatures. But I had two more contractions and like those two signatures. And so so they're like listen to her. So we get in the room. And she was like okay, are you finally okay with the cervical check and I was, and I was dilated to a seven. So I was so excited Cause, like I was like this is another one of my wishes, like I just felt so connected to my baby and they're like you said, you didn't like the IV very much last time, so we won't place one unless you need one. So I had no IV, just beautiful. It was really nice that I didn't have group B strap by their time, so I didn't have to worry about antibiotics or anything.
Tess: 27:52
And then I went ahead and hopped in the shower because that was my favorite form of pain management, and I just let the hot water run on me. But then all of a sudden, like the moans started coming quickly and I was like, is this possible, that I could be having a baby so soon? And so I would breathe through them and count to seven. It was just like kind of the thing that worked for me the first time too and I just felt it like really progressing and I asked if, like, my contractions would start coupling. I didn't realize that didn't happen every time and my midwife was like yeah. I was like how am I supposed to know if I'm in transition? And she's like I think you are, and I was like this is amazing, though.
Tess: 28:33
Like I was talking between contractions, this time I had also done everything I could. I was eating dates starting at 35 weeks and drinking red raspberry leaf tea. I'm like I want this to go smoothly, I want to dilate quickly, I will do anything. And so it did. It was happening that way, and we talked about a water worth. This time I just still wasn't sure about it. It was just whatever worked best for the baby, and so after a little bit, we decided to fill up the tub and I had more breathing through contractions in there, but it stayed so calm.
Tess: 29:07
This time I was just chatting with my midwife, like asking her questions like how long is the birth canal? And like tell me about your kids, like all these things that I was like am I pretending that it's this intense? Like I could not believe I was in labor and that it was that far along, because they started prepping the little baby bed as I was in the tub and I was like no way is this baby going to come out soon. So at this point I'd been in the tub and at the hospital for a little over an hour is about 530. And they started getting really intense. My husband would put the warm water over my back, like last time, and he knew to put blankets in the bottom of the tub so I could kneel on something nice. It was just nice to know those little things this time.
Tess: 29:53
And then, yeah, so he, he is like such a strength to me when I'm in labor, when I felt close to him like I didn't feel any fear, and so the way I was positioned, I was leaning forward and so my it's like a triangular bath in the corner of the room, and so my butt was facing toward the back wall and my midwife was short and she's like I may not be able to catch super well from this position, so let's try to move you so that you're facing me a little bit more. So I went to the back corner to face out, and then all of a sudden I felt like this fear rushing because I couldn't be close to my husband, and so I just said like I feel scared, and then she's like it's okay, like come back close. So we turned into another corner. My husband was sitting on the yoga ball at the corner and holding underneath my arms, and then I breathe you through a few more contractions. And then she was like it sounds like you're really close. Do you care if I check you one more time? So I said it was okay and she's like she is right there, your baby's right there, and your water feels like it's like so close if I just pop it for you then like you'll have a baby within minutes. And I like I don't think I'm ready for the intensity of that water breaking yet.
Tess: 31:04
And then I had one more contraction and it popped on its own. It was like a balloon like in the water. It was a crazy sensation, but I was like oh yeah. So it got really intense at that point and I just was kind of it felt like I was floating a little bit. My husband was under my arms and I just like pushed my foot up against this like handle that was in the side of the bath and my body started pushing and it was crazy. So within six minutes of my water breaking, I pushed three times and the baby was out and I was like how, how did I just have a baby that fast? And so then I decided to hop out of the bath holding my baby at that point and they helped me over to the bed to deliver the placenta which was crazy to literally minutes after the baby came out to walk around a little bit.
Tess: 31:57
But yeah, so that happened and it was so fast and I tore the first time with my son. It was just like a superficial tear, they said, about as much as an episiotomy is, so not not severe, but not awesome. Doesn't feel good to tear. But I tore about the same amount this time just because she came so quickly. Um, but it wasn't bad. The healing has gone really well and she's nursed incredibly, and so it was really beautiful, perfect, everything I wished for, because my contractions like really picked up around midnight and then she was born at 6 14 AM. It was a six hour labor and so I just hoped it would be less than seven. I like don't know how all my wishes came true, but they did this time.
Angela: 32:45
Oh my gosh, I love that you. You manifested all of that, like the date, the seven centimeters and all of the things. That's. That's amazing. So how did your placenta come out then? So you kind of got out of the tub and your placenta had not emerged yet and the cord was not clamped, and you kind of went over to the bed and then that's where your placenta came out, or?
Tess: 33:05
yeah and again the delayed clamping yeah, again the delayed clamping, and just yeah, a few minutes later. I didn't love it as much this time as the first time, but I think it's. I was just a lot more present this time, it felt like. So I was like whoa, that's a little bit tingly, you know so, but it went, it went well it's.
Tess: 33:26
It's so special to just manifest it and then have it all like happen yeah, the water birth and everything too, because I was like not sure, but it was just like really just perfect circumstances for that and I hoped that I'd be able to experience that and it was nice.
Angela: 33:42
Now, as a final question if you were to give advice to expecting parents, or even new parents, what would be the biggest thing you'd want to share with them?
Tess: 34:00
I'd say choose your team with birth, like your, your spouse, like it's important to be really close to them. So take the time while you're pregnant, if you're not as close as you want to be, to get really close, because going through labor and becoming a parent is it's a big experience, and so make sure that you feel really close and that you're ready for that together. And if it's a surprise pregnancy, like, take that time to get ready. Also, like, if you don't feel comfortable or you don't feel like all of your wishes are being listened to, like you can choose your birth team, and so it's. It may be different than something your friend liked, but it's your choice, and so I just think if your birth ends up being your choices, then it can be the right birth for you. Yeah, I did want to share one more thing.
Tess: 34:41
I worked with two nonprofits during my, like, postpartum phases. I was able to donate all the breast milk I pumped with my first. During that time that I was trying to, like, keep my supply up, just that first month of pumping I had enough to donate to the northeast milk bank, and so that was a beautiful experience that I was able to have, even though it was such a hard time for me. It was nice that it went forward in some way. And then also I had a lot of postpartum hair loss, which happens to like 40% of women, and so it was hard I had really long hair to see it all fall out and be vacuumed up. And so this time when I was pregnant, I cut off 13 inches of my hair to donate, and so I sent that to a nonprofit called Children With Hair Loss, and that was a better way to not see my hair just completely lost.
Angela: 35:32
Yeah, oh my gosh, that is really beautiful, both of those things.
Tess: 35:36
Yeah. So then I knew like I didn't just have to lose my hair, like I could give it. It's helped me, even though it's sad. It's sad to see your hair fall out yeah, not easy yeah, but just so grateful for babies and that we, as women, get to experience this, this awesome experience yeah, so more babies are in your future. You said right, you're hoping like we'll read out the situations and listen, but you manifested this one.
Angela: 36:05
Would you have any sort of like, have you thought about it, if you were to do it again? Like what your your manifestations?
Tess: 36:11
are. Yeah, I mean I still. I loved the care and like I don't know if I'll ever quite get to the point of feeling completely comfortable birthing within my own home, even though that sounds amazing. But I think honestly that second birth was as perfect as it could get for me. So if I can do three more of those, I will take it. We actually because I've had such beautiful experiences with birth here. That's been one thing that's helped us decide we're going to stay in Maine after my husband graduates, and so this is our place now and we love it.
Angela: 36:44
That is incredible. Well, maine is a great place to be a vacation land, right?
Tess: 36:49
Yes, absolutely.
Angela: 36:51
Thank you so much, Tess, for taking the time to chat with me and for sharing your stories with us today. It's been a pleasure talking with you. Thank you, and that's the end of another episode of the my Main Birth podcast. Thank you for joining me and listening. I hope that the stories shared here have been inspiring or informative to all of my listeners. If you would like to document your birth story or if you're looking for doula support for your upcoming birth, head over to my website, mymainbirthcom, and check out my packages.
Angela: 37:27
I'm a certified professional birth photographer and an experienced doula, and I offer in-person services to families throughout the state of Maine, as well as virtual birth coaching worldwide. If you're newly pregnant, I want to invite you to grab my top free resource it's called 37 questions to ask your care provider Whether you've already established care or if you're in the process of interviewing new providers. This is for you. Not only are you going to get the questions to ask, but I also share how to assess their answers and the major red flags you should be looking for. So go grab that. It's at mymainbirthcom slash download. Thank you again for tuning in and I look forward to bringing you more amazing birth stories. Don't forget to subscribe and leave me a review, and I'll see you back here again next week.