MyMaine Birth - Megan’s peaceful accidental unassisted Maine home birth
MyMaine Birth - Megan’s peaceful accidental unassisted Maine home birth
Welcome to MyMaine Birth, a space where we share the real life stories of families and their unique birth experiences in the beautiful state of Maine. From our state’s biggest hospitals, to Birth Center Births and home births, every birth story deserves to be heard and celebrated. From the first feelings of pregnancy to the first cry of your newborn, we explore the journey of child birth in all of its beauty, intensity, and emotion. Whether you are a soon to be mom, a seasoned mother, or simply interested in the world of birth, these episodes are for you!
Today’s birth story guest is Megan, and we are going to be hearing her share about her accidental unassisted home birth in Maine last year. Megan also shares about her first birth experience which was with a midwife practice at a hospital in Pennsylvania. It was this experience that inspired her to do things differently with her second child.
This episode is sponsored by MyMaine Photo. MyMaine Photo is Maine’s go-to studio for Maine Birth Photography.
If you, or someone you know is expecting and would like to capture the precious moments of meeting your baby for the first time, I highly recommend considering my Maine Birth Photography services. I am a professional Maine Birth photographer specializing in documenting the beauty and emotion of birth. I also provide all families with a treasured keepsake to cherish for years to come. I create a personalized and intimate photo album with every Maine birth photography session!
Listen here! Or keep scrolling for a transcription of this week’s interview.
Angela: Hi Megan, welcome to MyMaine Birth
Megan: Hello
Angela: So to get started, can you share a little bit about you and your family?
Megan: Yeah, so I have two boys. My oldest son Forest is turning three in about a week. And I have a baby who just turned one on April 20th named Orion. My husband and I, and my oldest son moved to Maine in 2021.
Angela: Alright, so can you share when you found out you were pregnant with you oldest son?
Megan: Yeah, so we were living in Pennsylvania at the time. I had actually had a miscarriage first before I got pregnant with him. It was very early, but still a little disappointing. I ended up getting pregnant with him, not too long after - maybe about 6 months after that - I got pregnant with him. I really didn’t have the education that I felt like I had with my second in terms of birth. Being my first child, I didn’t really know much. So I had an OB and I got a midwife through an OB office, and I was very clear with my natural birth plans from the start. I was thankful that I had a midwife that did understand natural birth and somebody who wanted those desires. I didn’t get much push-back at all, anytime I came with all my questions. But my visits did always feel very rushed, and I always left feeling like I either had to argue through something or I just felt like I had questions not answered. But the pregnancy was pretty uncomplicated. I did get diagnosed with gestational diabetes following the glucose test. I was one point off of the test - for the three hour test. It was very, very borderline - but clinically they diagnosed me with it. So I had to prick my finger four times a day for the rest of my pregnancy, and go through a bunch of other testing that I really didn’t feel like I needed - and my test results also said that I didn’t need it. So that was my biggest complaint with the pregnancy, was this kind of feeling like that intuitively - that didn’t feel like what I needed to be doing - but I had to do it, because that is how my provider directed me.
So he was due May 21st, and that was the year that Covid was happening, so I think I was 34 weeks pregnant when everything shut down. And I remember thinking - oh no, I don’t want to go to the hospital! And I did look into home birth at that point and the only midwife that did home births in my area in Pennsylvania was fully booked - because it was last minute, so I ended up continuing with the hospital plan. So my pregnancy, other than the gestational diabetes was pretty uncomplicated. I didn’t have nausea, I didn’t really have many symptoms - other than, I felt like I was growing, and I got bigger. I always feel like I felt pretty good. Towards the end I ended up getting a little bit of swelling in my ankles, and I just remember feeling pretty swollen at the end.
I remember I went in, I got to my due date - I was my due date +1. I was already 4cm dilated, but not feeling anything. There were two midwives, one that I worked with a lot and one that I didn’t. So the one that I didn’t like working with that much was there and she was really pressuring me “just get induced”. And I was like, no - I don’t believe in that, and I don't think I need that. So she was kind of looking for a reason to push me into it, and I decided not to do that. I went back home. They wanted me to go in for some other testing, I think it was a non-stress test, so I went into the hospital to have that. My blood pressure was high - I think because I was stressed with the situation - so they kept me for monitoring, and I felt like they kept me there all day, doing so many tests. And I wasn’t feeling contractions, and I just wanted to go home.
Then the midwife that I did prefer working with ended up coming to the hospital, and she checked me. I was 5 1/2 almost 6cm dilated. But still not really feeling anything. But when they put the monitors on me, I was having contractions I just wasn’t feeling them. What I have learned now, is that is just how my body is during labor - it’s really strange. Not during the whole time, but in the early labor. So I remember, they were concerned about my blood pressure. She told me I could go home - but I knew it was a Friday night, and the next two days - only the Obstetricians were on call - there would be no midwives available. So it was like, if I went home and came back the next day, I probably really wouldn’t have my birth plan. So honestly, that scared me more than staying at the hospital, even though I wanted to go home.
So she suggested breaking my waters to get things going since she thought my body seemed favorable to that and would go right away. I was uncertain about whether or not to do it - but I decided, ok fine. Because again, I didn’t want to be there with those Ob’s because there were two obstetricians in the practice and one couldn’t even take the time to meet me during pregnancy because they were too busy. I was like, I want to at least meet everyone in case they are there for my birth - and they didn’t even have time for that.
So she broke my water and this was 9:15 the day after my due date when I was in the hospital. And then immediately I went into these intense contractions. I remember immediately asking for the epidural to the nurse that was there. Because I felt like - this is my first this is going to be a long time - if this is what its like, I can’t do this. I just remember my husband got the nurse, the nurse went and got the midwife, the midwife came back - luckily it was the one I had been working with. And she reminded me - because I had been doing hypnobirthing since about 30 weeks - so she knew what I was working with, mentally. So she reminded me, go back to your breath and you can do this and that was really the encouragement I needed. Then she checked me and I was in transition. My body went right into that. And I didn’t know, so I was just like - I can’t do this. And at one point I got to that point that a lot of us get to where it’s like - I can’t do this. I was still in disbelief that it was going to be over soon. So I remember, it was really intense contractions. I remember being in the bathroom. They kept wanting to monitor me continuously and I think at one point I just stripped everything off of me, I was just like wanting all the things off. I got fully naked and laid on the bed. I forget where it was, they kept checking me, because it was a hospital and that was what the did there. And they were like - oh your 10 cm dilated, you can push now. And I didn’t feel anything, feeling like I was ready. So I ended up being on my back and doing the coached pushing, like where - it felt like there were 500 people in the room and they were all screaming at me, and of course it wasn’t going well. Because that’s not how people are meant to be, in my mind. I remember, she had me go on my hands and knees because she thought maybe that would help - a different position - and apparently at that point, my son’s heart decelerated. And I guess he didn’t like that position. So they got nervous, and - they did ask me, and at that point I was like - ok ya, sure whatever. But they decided to call the Obstetrician on call to come in and assist with a vacuum delivery. They felt like that was just what we needed. So this doctor that I never met, was the one who showed up and he helped with the vacuum while I was pushing - and my son was delivered.
I feel like in the moment I was just in shock. I remember my water was broken at 9:15 and he was born at 11:30pm. So 2 hours and and 15 minutes! So I was just in shock that he was here. But he came out and he was doing well, and I was shaking. I just remember trembling, and asking - is this normal? This is intense. He did have low blood sugar - so they immediately took him away and kept giving him blood glucose tests and pricking his foot every three hours. I feel like it was such a whirlwind postpartum with him. I just felt like everybody just kept coming in and out, it was a different nurse it felt like, every five minutes giving different advice on how to breastfeed. And we didn’t trust the results we were getting from their glucose monitors - we felt like he was getting better. Then the pediatrician staff shifted over to a different doctor who was very cautious about everything. So we ended up being there for four days. We ended up having to have an IV with Glucose water. And nursing was really hard, because I didn’t know what I was doing, and my baby had an IV. So it was kind of like - I didn’t want to hurt his little arm, so it was even more awkward than it normally would be.
I was just so grateful when we finally got to go home. Then he had some jaundice, he almost had to be re-admitted for. I remember that being another big deal. His pediatrician outside the hospital was saying that - his levels were getting too high - so let’s just wait over the weekend and see how they are on Monday. And I was like - is there some kind of treatment that we can do now? Because they were like, if it’s bad we are going to have to admit him on Monday. So this doctor didn’t even give us the option to get the Billi Lights, he said most people since the insurance doesn’t cover it, they wouldn’t want to do it, so I didn’t offer that. So we ended up getting the billi lights that day at home because I wanted to help with his jaundice, and luckily that did the job. That got him to a good level. But unfortunately, looking back, that is why our breastfeeding journey didn’t end up as I envisioned. I ended up exclusively pumping for him for a year, because I was dead set on wanting to provide breastmilk. But I think the little bits of trauma of his birth, not necessarily the birth itself but the postpartum in the hospital with him. It was so overwhelming for me, that it was just easier to pump and give him bottles. I just stuck with that for a year. I’m so grateful he is here, I can’t believe he is going to be three! But, ya - just looking back on that birth experience - there were definitely things that I would have changed, and I’m grateful of course that he is ok. But ya, it was just shocking to me the kind of care that we got.
Angela: So now shifting gears to now talk about your Maine home birth experience, can you tell me about when you got pregnant with your second son?
Megan: So this is where I get less tension in my body to talk about things. I feel like just sharing all that even, I feel like a little - ugh. But ya, so when we moved to Maine in April of 2021, and it was really soon after getting here that I started looking into Maine midwives and home birth Maine midwives and I wasn’t even pregnant yet. It was April. I started just looking into Maine midwives. We didn’t officially start trying until June of that year, but I just wanted to know who was in the area. I had a pre-conception visit with Soft Corner Midwifery. https://www.softcornermidwifery.com
I live in Woolwich, so I am pretty close to Bath, and that’s where I found Soft Corner. And, so I went for a pre-conception visit and I just love them so much! It was kind of just like, alright well I don’t need to interview anybody else, I just was like - I found my people! So ya, it was interesting because I just remember going to this pre-conception meeting and just kind of, trying to learn more about fertility and all that, and then the next month I got pregnant! I was like, well I’m glad I learned all that, but I guess my body was ready. So then I called them up right away, and I started my prenatal care with Soft Corner Midwifery.
So that pregnancy, I feel like things were SO different. As soon as I found out I was pregnant, it was weird because I remember I had a skin breakout, and it was just before I was getting my period, and I remember being really bitchy towards my husband and I am not normally that way. So I was like, oh - I’ll take a test. I think I was maybe a day late, so it was really close. And I was shocked to see that I was pregnant. Because I figured oh, this is just like period hormones - but no, it was pregnancy. So I look back to that, because I think that was interesting. I just had an inkling to check, and it was positive.
So once I knew I was pregnant I started researching things like crazy. I started listening to ton’s of home birth podcasts and all different podcasts that talk about natural birthing. I really felt a call towards instinctual - just natural birth. And not just natural like - I’m in a hospital I’m not taking an epidural. But really natural, like how people do it all the time, in other countries.
So I started getting really obsessed with birth. So with all of that information that I was getting from all the podcasts, I got a chiropractor that I started seeing - a Webster certified chiropractor. I started going to pelvic floor physical therapy. I started prenatal yoga, because around that time it was 2021, so things were starting to be in person again - kind of. So the yoga studio I went to in Brunswick, Maine - they were starting to do prenatal again, just like distanced in person. That was really nice, because I didn’t really have that in Pennsylvania as an option, maybe I did and I didn’t know about it. But that prenatal yoga was really great. I forget what time in pregnancy I started going, but it was pretty early on. That was my thing, that every Sunday was my ritual. I would go to prenatal yoga and my husband would watch our toddler. It was just so nice to have that connection, every week. It was also really nice to be around other women who were also pregnant. There was one girl who was due about a week ahead of me, so every week we would check in. It was really nice to have that community. That was definitely something I was missing with Covid. It’s hard moving to a new state, but it’s also hard to be pregnant and in another state trying to meet people. So that was a really awesome thing that I’m glad that I did.
My prenatal care at Soft Corner Midwifery was just night and day from the Obstetrician appointments through that other midwife. It was now like I felt like every time I would go and I had questions, it just felt like we were having a conversation. I never felt that tension that I would feel in the Obstetrician appointments of like - alright what are they going to try and get me to test today, and what am I going to have to say No to and explain why - and hope they don’t push me. It was never like that, I could make any decision - well maybe not any decision - but my midwives and I, we would talk about it. Ultimately it was that informed choice, like it’s my decision on what I choose to do for my pregnancy. Every visit I just felt so supported, and so grateful. for that!
I was a vegetarian from when I was 13 years old, up until I got pregnant this last time. So I started learning a lot more about nutrition and pregnancy nutrition, and so I started eating animal products again, just to up my protein. That was something new to me, I am still on this journey, because my whole life I have never really cooked meat and I’m still trying to figure it out. But I think that made me feel even better in pregnancy. I still have very few symptoms with this one. I just remember those visits with my Maine midwives, I looked forward to them. I felt like I was talking to a friend. And again, I didn’t have much of a community so it was something to look forward to. And I was excited to learn about welcoming my baby. So I had the 20 week ultrasound with this pregnancy. Looking back on my first pregnancy, I think I had way too many ultrasounds, but I was kind of put in this “high-risk” gestational diabetes category so they made me have all these ultrasounds. So this time I just had the 20 week and everything was fine.
The big thing was coming up on the glucose test for the gestational diabetes because of my first pregnancy and my feelings that I really didn’t think that I had this thing - but I was treated like it. So I obviously, told my Maine midwives all about that, and they had an option where you can take that glucose, that sugary artificial drink - or you can have a pancake breakfast or a smoothie with certain ingredients. So I went the smoothie route, and it was extremely sweet and kind of gross. But so much better than that artificial thing. It was like, this is sugar from actual food in my body, I felt like I could trust it more to say what my body was reacting to. I remember being very nervous about it. But even if I did test positive, I remember my midwives were like, it’s still ok to have a Maine home birth. They said, unless you become someone that needs insulin, then it is still ok to have a Maine home birth. So I just remember feeling supported through everything I was anxious about. I was so anxious about that test and then it came back negative. I didn’t have it, and it just kind of re-affirmed what we had thought. I always remember my husband in my first pregnancy was like, you don’t have this, you should stop poking your finger - and was just like - this is stupid. But I was like no the doctor said I have to do it, so I have to do it, you know.
So yeah, that was a weight off my shoulders. I also actually ended up eating much healthier in my second pregnancy, even though I didn’t have gestational diabetes. I think because my mindset shifted when I started getting healthier and making healthier choices, which again was more support from my midwives because they had a nutritionist on their staff that I met with as well during pregnancy, and it was just all around I felt super, super supported. And this time I did hire a doula to be there for me. I didn’t have a doula with my first. I had planned for her to be there for the labor and postpartum - we will get to that when we get to the birth story of what actually happened - but ya, she was great. She came for prenatal visits, I forget how many times we met but it was so nice to get to know her, and she really wanted to get to know me and what my comfort measures were, and how I birth and what I need and it was just another supporting person. My husband joked a lot this pregnancy about how I had a staff , because I had all these people working for me. I was like, I guess it is kind of true, I did hire a staff of people - but I think this is the modern version of having a village to help you through pregnancy. And something that I feel like, we shouldn’t have to pay for, but I’m happy to because it was an amazing experience.
And the other thing as well that I really wanted to be successful with was breastfeeding. So I did reach out to their lactation consultant that they had on staff at Soft Corner - ahead of time, while I was pregnant - to kind of share my experience with my first and to kind of feel prepared in that realm. We made sure to set up a plan. Usually the lactation consultant comes on day three but my Maine midwives- they said, if I wanted her there sooner then we could have her there right away - so that was pretty cool to feel that support as well. In all of the aspects of my pregnancy. So that was pretty much the pregnancy, I’m trying to think of anything else that came up.
Angela: So during your pregnancy your midwives set you up with a nutritionist and a lactation consultant?
Megan: Yeah, they are really amazing! They are not on their official staff, but they work with them. They help set up a zoom call with them, and help facilitate all of it. Part of it is included in the birth package, so it is amazing! You get that included and then if you need additional visits then you can just pay. Which was really, really amazing because I didn’t know there was all that either - until I started working with them.
They also had another visit with a postpartum doula - that was just a free postpartum prep video call - and that was really cool. And actually, now that I said that, I remember the girl that I met with that did the postpartum education also was taking a training for a spinning babies class and she offered to come teach me for free because she had to teach so many people for her certification. So she actually came over and I did a spinning baby class this time, and that was really cool, to kind of learn the different positions and learn more about the baby and the body - which I was obsessed with, so that was really cool too. And I did practice hypno-birthing again with this pregnancy. I did try a different hypno-birthing class but I ended up going back to the one I liked better - because I liked it better.
Angela: Yeah, the hypnobirthing can be really helpful. So how was your labor and birth?
Megan: So yeah, the final conclusion! I remember I was nervous because my first son came so fast - he was 2 hours. I had a lot of anxiety about - what if this one comes faster? In terms of having support and I was just worried. My husband works an hour away, so the last two weeks before my due date I ended up coordinating with my job to work 100% remotely until I delivered. My husband was able to do the same with his job. So we were able to make sure we were both here instead of - somewhere else.
Giving birth is really just so crazy, I really think it is such a spiritual thing too. My last day of work, I remember - I just had this inkling like - I feel like I need to just check in with the people who are going to take care of my work while I’m gone. And it was the very end of the day. So I didn’t realize it at the time - but a few days before that - I started emptying my bowels consistently. I thought I was getting a stomach bug - I was like, this is weird. But ugh, it’s nothing.
So this day, I had this inkling like I just need to touch base with these people. So it was the last meeting of my day, I felt like I wrapped everything up, and I closed my computer. And later - I didn’t notice it at the time, but I remember my husband went to pick up my son at day care because he didn’t want me driving at that point - and I was on the phone with my mom and looking back she said I kept saying “I feel different” and “I don’t know, I just feel different”. I wasn’t saying that to myself though, it was just like another day. So my toddler got home, we had dinner. It was just a regular day. I gave him a bath.
It is just so interesting, because my husband had started putting my son to bed because I was having trouble reaching over the crib with my belly. But that night he was on a phone call with somebody because we were having so much work done on our house, so he couldn't put him to bed that night. So I put him to bed, and it was just sweet. Looking back, I never did that, and that one night I put him to bed. So this is where things started getting weird. Because I sat down with my husband - we were watching some crappy reality TV - some trash, and we were always drinking seltzer water - that was our tradition. Our toddler is asleep - let’s watch some stupid show and decompress. And I just remember, I was sitting down on the couch and I stood up and I felt something shift, physically - and I wasn’t sure what it was. And I was like - that felt different. But I didn’t think it was a contraction it was just something, like maybe the baby dropped a little - I don’t know. But it triggered anxiety in me, and I don’t know why I was feeling anxious, but I think this was the start of my labor, but in the moment I was in denial.
I called my doula, because I was like - I need to talk to somebody about this. I think I actually posted on one of the homebirth podcast Facebook groups - like asking if anybody else was feeling anxiety where they just can’t stop - I don't even know what I wrote, but I wrote a crazy post and I called my doula. I remember taking to her, and I remember the next day I was 38 +3 and the first time I went a day past my due date, so I figured it wasn’t time. So I think that’s why I was having anxiety, because I was like - it can’t be time. I didn’t think I would be having the baby so soon. I had just had my home visit from my midwife and my doula a week before at 37 weeks. I just remember talking to her and I was like - I feel like when I go to the appointment tomorrow I might have them check me because I just feel like I don’t know. I think I had anxiety because with my first things were progressing and I didn’t know. So I had this anxiety of like, things are going to progress and I’m not going to know. So I think I’m going to want to be checked tomorrow. Even though I don’t want checks, but for me, I think I really want it. But we both weren’t thinking anything was really happening. So we had a conversation, she helped me relax and she did what she needed to do for me to feel comfortable. And I had a plan, I’m just going to relax and listen to my hypno-birthing meditation and just try to go to bed and stay calm, and tomorrow I’m going to go see the Maine midwives. I remember getting off the phone, and I remember I was in my kitchen listening to my hypno-birthing. And I remember I was rhythmically swaying - but not feeling contractions - looking back. I was just like, I remember I ate a bowl of broccoli soup that I had made, because I made a bunch of postpartum meals. And I was just sitting there eating the broccoli soup, listening to this thing. And it was like, things were progressing but I didn’t know. I didn’t know that that’s what was happening. I didn’t feel anything. Then I went in the other room with my husband and that stupid show was on, I don’t know what it was, but I was so not interested in it. But my mood shifted at that point. I had tried to take a sip of my seltzer, and I was like - no, I can’t. But still I didn’t think anything was happening. But things were starting to change in my body. I remember I went in the room and I sat next to him, and I was crying and I was like - I don’t know if this is just an anxiety attack or if something is happening. I don’t feel well. I kept saying - I feel like I’m on drugs , I just feel like I’m on drugs - there was just no other way I could put it. And that’s how I felt - but it was the hormones. And I didn’t know, it was just like somethings not right. I was feeling all whacky. I remember telling him, this is the Maine midwives phone number - but I don't think anythings happening - but this is the phone number, this is who you need to call if I can’t talk. Like, I had given it to him already but I was just making sure he had it.
I remember I went upstairs, I think it was something about going up the stairs, because I got into my bathroom and I was sitting there and I called the midwife on call number. I was like, let me just check in with them, and again - my conversation started with - I’m just feeling really anxious, I feel like I don’t know what’s going on. I didn’t think I was in labor, so I didn’t talk about that at all. I was just like I feel really anxious, and I know I have an appointment tomorrow, and I don’t think anything is happening. And as I was saying that - that’s when I felt my first contraction. And from the first one, I had to stop talking and breathe through it. It just stopped me in my tracks. Then I had two more contractions on the phone with the midwife assistant and all three of them, I had to stop and breath and then I could keep talking. So she recommended that I just try to relax and get in the shower and call her back if anything changes. And for some reason I just felt like - I am not getting in that shower. For some reason, I just didn’t have it in my and I was just like yeah, I’m not getting in the shower. I couldn’t get in the shower.
When I was on the phone with the midwife, my husband was getting the bed prepped, because we still didn't put the plastic sheet down and everything. So he was making the bed while I was on the phone with him. At the same time, I had anxiety because I didn’t want my son to be home during the labor, so my in-laws were actually on their way to take my son to their house. So my husband was getting the bed ready, he mentioned to me that my in-laws were on the way. Then I called my doula and I told her - please come, I think you need to come. And she trusted me and got in the car, but she told me that she told her husband - ya she only had three contractions but she needs me there. And he was like what are you talking about. But she trusted me and she was on her way. So after the call with the doula to tell her to come was kind of when - I couldn’t talk to anybody anymore. At that point, I was having consistent contraction and I kept wanting to go to the toilet. I was having contractions and I was tolerating them ok - and my husband left to put my toddler in my in-laws car and so I had a few by myself. But it was ok. But I remember as soon as he came back, I went into the bathroom because I felt like I had to go to the bathroom and my water broke on the toilet. After that I don’t remember if the midwives called back or if my husband called them - but they were on the phone. They confirmed that it was my water and that they were on their way. And immediately after that, I had my first pushing contraction, where I was not doing anything. I have heard on these stories - your body just does it! And I was shocked by it - so I was screaming. And I remember my Maine midwives being on the phone - like, is she ok? And I was just like - I’m ok. Just hearing them say that, it just reminded me - I’m ok. And I just remember breathing into and and instinctually I was like I don’t want to have this baby on the toilet. So I remember standing up on my own and walking over to my bed - which looking back - this is super hero stuff. Just the feeling of that contraction, then just being able to get up and walk was crazy. So then I got into my bed and I just remember holding on to my husband, I was laying on my left side which is how I was pushing with my first before they put me on my back. So I feel like that’s my spot, laying on my left side.
I had planned to have a water birth and we didn’t even talk about getting this pool set up because things were happening. It never got set up. So I think I had one or two contractions on the toilet, then I went back to the bed and from then on it was pushing contractions. Like, something is changing. The ring of fire. I remember asking my husband - is there a head? Can you see something? Then he looks - then I pushed out his head, his body followed shortly after - my husband caught him! It was weird because his head was starting to come out and I was on my side, and for some reason my husband said - get on your hands and knees - and I did - I was able to move. Then my husband caught him and he was screaming right away, and he put him on my chest and I just remember I was like - go get blankets.
I asked the midwives - what do I do if he comes before you get here? Because that was something we kind of know - it is a spiritual thing - I felt like that was going to happen and I wanted to be prepared. We were super calm. I remember the midwives calling back and my husband was like - oh yeah, the baby is here! And the midwives were like - oh really, the baby is there?! They came in maybe 5 or 10 minutes later, I forget the timing. But he was screaming, he was well, and I knew he was well. I was just in shock. And I was shaking again, which is just my body’s way of dealing with the hormones. So it was like a familiar feeling of ok - I’m ok, I’m just shaking. It was amazing! So amazing to have that experience of an undisturbed natural birth - just trusting my instincts! I did a lot of positive affirmations around my house the week before that. But it was so much trust in body, and my baby, and knowing what to do - and he did. He wanted to come early, and that was his time and ya - he’s a rockstar. It was just so crazy to know that I went through that whole labor and nobody checked me, nobody took any hear tones - not to say that those things aren’t needed, sometimes it is - but that was not my plan for my birth, how it went - but it was actually really cool.
So my midwives got there so soon after - I started feeling the anxiety around 9pm and he was born at 10:43, so I think the active labor started around 10:15, so from feeling anything it was I think, like 37 minutes from first contraction to when he was born. So it was like a freight train. And that was the thing I hadn’t really heard enough about on birth story podcasts, was precipitous labor, because it’s not that common. I had heard a few. So it was like, having it happen again it was just like - ok this is just my body’s way of giving birth and if I have a third, we are going to need a plan - but we’ve got it, we’ve done it before! So yeah, that was the birth.
Angela: Oh my gosh, wow! So how was your postpartum period this time around?
Megan: So postpartum was like night and day - again - from the first time. When the Maine midwives got there they checked to see and my placenta was just sitting there, so I delivered that naturally. I had a minor scrape but I didn’t need any stitches. I had a second degree tear with my first. So postpartum immediately it was actually really a lot easier than I thought. I don’t know if it was just because I had done it before. And I had gone through the deprevation of sleep and everything. I think the first few days, I had a bit of anxiety about is he latching correctly and is he getting enough - just because of the trauma I had with my first and him not getting enough nutrition through me right away, and having health issues - I was on it, I think I was over feeding him because I was paranoid. He was constantly on. So I think I had the lactation consultant come out on day 2 and she helped me confirm that the latch seemed good. Things were going fine and she gave me confirmation that he is doing great, and that helped me relax. But I think getting past the first few days of enough dirty diapers and getting past that after wondering if he is ok - but then the midwives came and kept weighing him, I think that is the difference of home birth care with postpartum support versus hospital where I had one appointment at 6 weeks. Whereas these Maine midwives were there checking me and weighing baby, and that was the confirmation that I needed to see that he is gaining, because I had however many day visits, so that was great.
My doula also missed the birth, and she ended up arriving just after the midwives. And she had an hour commute, so she came a little bit after them and ended up just caring for me immediately postpartum. She made me some tea. The midwives were great, I was RH negative so I had to get the Rogam shot, which I also had with my first.
It was very uneventful, my bleeding was ok, I was doing ok. I think I was feeling a little too good at one point. I remember one of the midwives was like - you should walk a little bit slower - because I got up to go to the bathroom at my normal speed I guess. But it was honestly, I felt great, truly like how birth is supposed to feel - in terms of that hormone rush - and I just wish that more people knew that it was a possibility. I feel like our culture is stigmatized to thinking that birth is this painful thing that we need drugs to save us from - but I truly just don’t believe it is. So postpartum - I do work full time - so I only had a 3 1/2 month maternity leave, luckily it was paid - I have a great employer. So I just remember soaking in my maternity leave, nursing was going well. He was gaining really fast and doing well. It was very different from my first when I was pumping all the time and now it was like I had freedom - because if I wanted to go somewhere with the baby I just took him with me and I didn’t have to pack bottles or freezer bags or anything. It was like, I just bring him, and if he is hungry - I feed him. So that was new, and amazing because I felt like I got to enjoy postpartum a little bit more because I didn’t feel so chained to the pump at the house - even if I had a wearable one - so that was really great. And I had a little bit of an oversupply so I was able to pump an extra bottle each morning and put it in the freezer - so that gave me some assurance, like I’ve got backup - and I didn’t really struggle with supply at all. So he just turned a year on April 20th and I am still nursing him, and it had been so amazing to kind of get to this point where I made it past where I stopped with my first, so that’s been feeling really cool. One other thing - La Leche League is amazing! https://www.lllofmenh.org I don’t know if you know that La Leche League of Maine and New Hampshire are merged together and they host a virtual zoom call meeting and it is two days a week Tuesday and Friday, and I went during pregnancy as well to learn about breastfeeding and trying to set myself up for success. And I’ve actually made a few friends and I was just over at one of their houses for brunch the other day. And it’s just so amazing to have community and support and it’s really nice because now I’m able to go and share advice to mom’s who just had babies and I’m like - how is that me now?! I’m here with a one year old now and I was just there was a one week old thinking - am I doing this right? But I really believe in that peer to peer support, I really feel like that is the best way to learn and feel supported with others in the same boat. So that’s been pretty cool.
I remember when I went back to work I did have a little bit of postpartum depression that sort of hit me later, and I think it was just around the struggles of being a full time working parent and having to leave your children and if it were possible I would stay home with them, but I need to work right now, and I’m just coming to terms right now with that. I remember reaching out to - I forget who recommended them - but I started seeing a really great therapist that specializes in postpartum perinatal issues, so I have been in therapy since and that has been really, really helpful. To just have that person to check in with and make sure that I am ok.
It’s not easy going back to work, and I think it just kind of caught me by surprise, because my postpartum - like I said - it was amazing! And I think it was just that period that was coming to an end and it was just like ok - now back to work. So ya, but I feel like since I started therapy, I have been dealing with my thought around that a lot better and in a lot more healthy way.
Angela: Yeah. So would you like to share some of the resources that were helpful for you?
Megan: Yeah, so I am trying to think - because like I said - I got really into it this last pregnancy. I could probably list a really long list. The biggest ones that stand out would probably be the Birthing Instincts Podcast from Dr. Stu who specializes in twins and breech. I just find his podcast so education and amazing! And the Down to Birth podcast, I really love that one - just really good information, great women. I think the Doing it At Home Podcast was one home birth specific one, and then My Happy Home Birth Podcast was another one that I really loved. So Podcasts! Those were my podcasts. And my biggest plug for breastfeeding is La Leche League! I am just always amazed that this group is just for Maine and New Hampshire and there is only ever like 10 women at the most. I think it’s a resource that maybe women just don’t know is there because it’s not broadcast out to communities enough. So I would say, if you are interested in breast feeding try to attend a La Leche League meeting. They are virtual in Maine and New Hampshire. I would say try to attend while you are pregnant and get that foundation of support so that when you need help you don’t feel awkward to start making a relationship with people. I feel like I am very outgoing so it was very easy for me to just join a virtual call and be like - hey, this is what’s going on - but for some people that might be harder. So I think that may be why there is not that much attendance, it does take a lot to be able to speak up when you are having a struggle. I am an open book.
Also books I read were Ina May Gaskin Natural Guide to Child Birth. I feel like those were the biggest things. The hypno birthing - I can’t remember the name of the course I took - but hypo birthing was really, really helpful for me. As a practice, every night I would lay down to go to bed and put on my meditation, and sometimes I would fall asleep to it. But I found that it was really, spiritually, helping me a lot. To learn to trust my body, and positive affirmations. I did a lot of that the end of pregnancy - just YouTube searching - positive affirmation video for pregnancy. And just listening to positivity, and staying away from negativity. I think that is something that I did with my first that was really helpful. So any new parents, I would say just stay away from people who want to give you negative birth information. You can really have an amazing experience if that is what you want. So it is always ok to tell somebody - thank you, but I would appreciate if you don’t share any more about that. Because I feel like people love to just jump into the negative band wagon of - if I had a home birth I wold be dead. Stuff like that. Just stay with your tribe of people who are trying to do the same thing as you. That’s my advice.
Angela: Yeah, that’s good advice! So if anyone wanted to reach out, do you want to leave your contact information?
Megan: Sure, you can find me on Instagram if you want to. My account is private but I am happy to connect with to anybody who is listening here who wants to. My account is @simplemegan
Angela: Ok, I will link it in the show notes so people can find you. Thank you so much Megan for sharing your story today!
Megan: Yes, thank you so much for having me, it’s just been such a blessing and excitement tonight just knowing I get to have a cup of tea and talk about birth!
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