MyMaine Birth, Katie’s coerced induction turned Cesarean Birth Experience, followed by a Super Empowering VBAC at a different Hospital
MyMaine Birth, Katie’s coerced induction turned Cesarean Birth Experience, followed by a super Empowering VBAC at a different Hospital
Welcome to MyMaine Birth, a space where we share the real life stories of families and their unique birth experience in the beautiful state of Maine. From our state’s biggest hospitals, to birth center births, and home births, every birth story deserves to be heard and celebrated. From the first feelings of pregnancy to the first cry of your newborn, we explore the journey of childbirth in all of its beauty, intensity, and emotion. Whether you are a soon to be mom, a seasoned mother, or simply interested in the world of birth, these episodes are for you!
If you are looking to capture your own birth story, I highly recommend considering my Maine Birth Photography services. I am a skilled professional Maine Birth Photographer and am very passionate about capturing the raw and emotional moments of the birthing process. I design a personalized and intimate photo album with every birth photography session, creating a lasting and beautiful memory of one of the most special moments of your life. For more information head over to https://www.mymainephoto.com/birthphotography
Today’s birth story guest is Katie, join me as she shares her two Maine Birth Stories with us. Her first birth was with care from a midwife group at hospital that will not be named, her experience was quite traumatic and she describes her experience as a coerced induction turned cesarean birth. Katie describes her second birth experience as a super empowering VBAC at a different hospital.
Join me and listen here for my conversation with Katie! Scroll down for the full transcript!
Angela: Hi Katie, welcome to MyMaine Birth
Katie: Hi
Angela: So to start will you tell me a little bit about you and your family?
Katie: Yeah, so its me My name is Katie and my husband Colin - Henry is our oldest son, he will be 4 in November and this little guy is George and he will be one on June 7th, so thats us. I work as a therapist, and I just got trained in perinatal mood and anxiety disorders, and I am working towards certification, so yeah that is my newest adventure and I am very excited about that.
Angela: Wow, very cool! So now can you share about when you found out you were pregnant with Henry.
Katie: Yeah, so my pregnancy with our first son Henry was not planned. I had gotten off Birth Control, just for the side effects, and lo and behold - two months later, I was pregnant. That actually was in February of 2019. I had just started my career as a therapist, I was working at an inpatient facility in Bangor - commuting from where we live now, so it was like an hour and fifteen minute commute - one way. So I was just like, oh my goodness, how is this going to work out - we weren’t planning to have babies anytime soon. But it worked out, obviously. And once that sunk in, I very much wanted to go for a natural, unmedicated birth.
I had one of my sisters talk about hypno birthing, she didn’t end up being able to take that class, but I did have that in the back of my mind. So with that in mind, I did choose to go with a midwife group practice, in a hospital setting. So that care that I received was really great, initially. My goal is not to tarnish their reputation or anything, but my experience ended up being quite traumatic. So yeah, the care was really great, I felt like it was holistic. It was difficult because there were so many midwives I was meeting with, and then the Obstetrician that was overseeing them. But in general, my pregnancy was uncomplicated. Because of where I worked, 5 days a week, commuting from Bangor - there were only so many appointment times and I would often have to have the last appointment of the day. So I did end up meeting all of them, but two of them I only ended up meeting once or twice. So my pregnancy was very uneventful in a very good way, I was GBS positive - which I, in the moment - I felt like, oh no - like that was where this desire to have a natural birth, this plan was kind of foiled. I should back track and say I did take a hypnotic birthing class after all - I took one with Evelyn Conrad in Brewer. So once a week I would not get home until almost 10pm to stay in Brewer to take this amazing hypnobirthing class. And my husband used to be a merchant Marine, he is an engineer, so he didn’t get to come to any of the classes, so it was just me.
I loved the class - I did miss one class, because it got rescheduled for some reason, and I will backtrack to that in a minute. So yeah, I was GBS positive, and the Glucose screen, just the initial one hour screen - I didn’t pass that, so I was very anxious about that - but the three hour test - I passed that with flying colors. So that thankfully was alright. So yeah, I ended up getting closer and closer to my due date. For the longest time I thought I was going to go early. I had what they called an “irritable uterus” and so I had a ton of Braxton hicks, I think it started at 19 weeks with Henry. And we did find out he was a boy around 15 weeks.
So yeah, I approached my due date and they started bringing up induction. And they had previously said that unless there are complications or some warning signs - they would “allow” women to go to 42 weeks. And I was shocked that they were bringing up induction so soon! And I started to get really anxious. So my blood pressure started creeping up when I was at my appointments, but at home - it was fine. My blood pressure was fine at home. So every week after that - which spoiler alert, I went to 42 weeks - they kept bringing up induction. And it was the last appointment that I had that was considered a “regular appointment” was 41 weeks, one of the midwives came in - and my husband was able to make it to that appointment.
It was around 39 weeks when they brought up induction in general - but they didn’t really go into detail about what that entailed, or what the indication for an induction would be - they just said that induction could potentially be something that came up for anyone. It was a very general conversation, and it was very brief, and I didn’t know what I didn’t know. I know a lot more know. So I didn’t ask too many questions.
At 41 weeks I went in, and my husband was able to make that appointment with me. And the midwife came in and she saw - after I had the initial blood pressure with the medical assistant - she said, so we are going to induce you Monday. And I was like - what? And she was like - ohh, you don’t want to be induced? And I was like - NO, everything is ok isn’t it? And she said - well your blood pressure is creeping up . And I was like - yeah, but I’m nervous. I said - You all have mentioned induction a lot in the last several appointments and that is something that makes me very anxious because I wanted to avoid that. And she was very confused. And I don’t know if thats because - many women in their practice, maybe don’t want to be pregnant after 40 weeks anymore - so they opt for that induction for any potential indication of that. So I was really anxious. And I remember I was like - can we wait? And she was like, ok well we will get you another bio-physical profile and another non-stress test - because I had already had one. And I came in, I think it was Saturday that I had the bio-physical profile and it was great, I was like - ok phew, I’m off the hook, everything’s fine. And I came back in on that Monday - so I was 41 weeks and 4 days, so whatever that timeline was. And it was a different midwife - and my blood pressure wasn’t high but it was elevated. It was still in the range of normal but it was more elevated than it had been in the middle of my pregnancy. And I had been monitoring my blood pressure at home, because I just wanted to make sure that I actually was healthy - and it wasn’t pre-eclampsia or hypertension of pregnancy - and it was fine at home. So in my mind, I was like - I’m fine.
So at that 41 weeks and 4 day appointment there was a little bit of - and when I say a little bit - I mean, there was a lot of coercion. I even heard them say - the risk of still birth increases, I can’t remember the exact statistic - it was still a really low risk. But still, in my mind - I was like, oh my gosh, I don’t want my baby to die. And I even heard them say - we know you don’t want your baby to die so it is probably best you get induced. And that was horrible. I remember I was just shocked. And my husband was with me at that appointment too. And I just - I asked for more time, I was like - can I wait to make a decision? And they were like sure - you can go home take some time and call us back - but we would really like for you to come in at 6pm tonight. So I went home and thought about it. We went to lunch at a nearby restaurant and I couldn’t even eat - because it just didn’t feel right. Everything seemed really healthy and I felt great in terms of being pregnant and I never even had any headaches. But my husband, who didn’t know any better - he was just so excited to meet our baby.
So after we got home he was like - why don’t we just go? I think everything will be fine, let’s meet our baby. So I agreed. I called them. It still didn’t feel right - but I didn’t know. Spoiler alert - the hypnobirthing class that I missed was on interventions and induction - I missed that class, ironically. So I won’t go into too many details about the actual induction - it was very slow. It started with Cytotec and Cervadil. I had some cramping, nothing really happened. On the third day -I had a full balloon - then I lost my mucous plug and was like ok finally, something is happening. I had some more uterine irritability. Then not too much was happening, I can’t remember in terms of dilation where I was at. And to backtrack a little bit - before the induction nobody talked to me about a Bishop Score - but I got my records and my Bishop Score was basically indicating that an induction wouldn’t work. But nobody told me that. I was maybe 50% effaced and maybe 1 1/2 cm dilated before the induction started. They broke my water at 11am on the third day. Things were going great, I was using hypnobirthing techniques - and I was like ok I got this. I was falling asleep in between contractions. But my IV lines kept blowing. They weren’t flushing my IV lines in between antibiotic doses. So when they would go to start another round of antibiotics - it would blow an IV line. It was just horrible! I think they ended up sticking me 5 or 6 lines with different lines - and they just kept blowing. And at one point - after they broke my water - the Pitocin and the antibiotics were in the same line because I didn’t have any more good veins. And they didn’t flush the line again! And by they - I mean the nurse, not to point any fingers - but the nurse didn’t flush the IV line and it had been several hours since my last round of antibiotics. And that IV blew as well. So they had to stop the Pitocin - which prior to stopping we were at almost max Pitocin - and I was doing ok. But then we had to stop the Pitocin because the IV line wasn’t working - and they had given me the option of restarting it once they got an OK line in.
They said we can either titrate you back up - but if we can get a line started within half an hour - then we can start back up where you left off. It took more than 30 minutes to get an IV back in - but they opted to start right back up at the full - I want to say it was 20 miliunits of Pitocin. And within 10-20 minutes, I think thats right around when Pitocin starts to kick in - I could not cope. I was grabbing onto the sheets, screaming in pain - asking please make it stop, please make it stop. And the nurse came in and was like - I will go check with the provider to see if we can stop. And I can’t remember how long it was - I was starting to dissociate at this point. And she came back and said - No, the provider wants to see you make more progress so we are not going to stop the Pitocin. Interestingly enough, in my medical record - it says that I demanded the Pitocin to be stopped and that they stopped it. And they did not, they did not. They did not turn it off.
I couldn’t cope anymore and finally I was like, I need something, I need something. I was panicking. And so I asked what my options for pain meds were - because I didn’t look into it before, because I was like - I won’t need that I have hypnobirthing. And they were like - oh we have Stadol - and I was like - ok what is Stadol and they were like, oh it’s a muscle relaxer. And in labor land - if you want to call that labor land - I didn’t put two and two together to think that Stadol could have opioids in it, and for me that is what I wanted to avoid. And so I was like - ok if it’s a muscle relaxer, then yeah, I’ll go for that. And so they gave that to me, and I felt so drunk. I couldn’t talk - I was slurring my words. I want to say it was only like 3 or 4 hours that had went by after they broke my water and all of this had happened.
They checked me and I hadn’t made any progress - or they told me I hadn’t made any progress - my notes say otherwise. I was in the bed, not moving, nobody offered me a peanut ball or to switch positions - they just left me alone suffering. And they came in and they were like - well you haven’t made any progress, and in my mind - I was like, maybe if it’s this intense maybe I am in transition - that was not the case, but they were like ok we will come back in two more hours and check you. They came back in two more hours and told me I had not made any progress - but again, in my notes it said that I had dilated another cm and was now at like 85% effaced and my baby was a little lower in station. And they were like - it’s time to call it. And I was like - what? Like, what do you even mean?
So this was the third day - so I was now 42 weeks. And so now it was 11am when they broke my water - on the third day of the induction. Then I want to say it was around 6pm where they were like - ok we will give you 2 more hours. I want to say around 9pm was when they were like - we are calling it. The Obstetrician was actually outside of my door and came in and spent a significant amount of time trying to convince me to consent to a cesarean. Which I don’t remember any of this. I remember her being in my room, but I don’t remember any words that I said or what anyone was talking about. But my husband said that they eventually were trying to convince him to get me to consent - they were like, we can’t do it without her consent - so you need to make her to consent. Like they didn’t use those words but - he was like, yeah they were telling me that I needed to get you to say yes I consent.
They wheeled me to the OR and I was sobbing, like sobbing uncontrollably. By the time I got to the OR I was not in my body in terms of my mental capacity. I don’t remember much. I do remember that they catheterized me without telling me what they were going to do and I could still feel them doing all of it - and it felt very invasive. And my husband came at my head after he was allowed in after I got the spinal anesthesia - and I thought he was a provider and he kissed my cheek and I was horrified. And I was very reactive to any sort of touch. And I think I just sort of shut down after that. I don’t remember my baby being born. I have a video - they didn’t lower the drape, I asked for immediate skin to sin - but they waited like 10ish minutes after he was born to clean him up and wrap him in a blanket - and they put him on my chest and he did nurse a little bit - I have pictures. But all in all it was just really horrible. I was a really horrible experience. I had heard of birth trauma before that - but I didn’t think it would happen to me.
So afterwards I remember feeling like - when we got home, and we didn’t go home until the 7th day. And at that point my husband was like - we are going home. He wasn’t waiting anymore. And I was a little bit scared - because I was like I don’t want to go home, I didn’t want to face reality. But by the time I got home, it had felt like my baby had died and I was handed someone else’s baby. I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that this baby was mine. I later read that can be a feature of birth trauma. It took a little while to realize it was birth trauma at first for me. I tried to minimize it at first, because no one in my world understood where I was coming from. I heard - oh you know, at least you have a healthy baby - and a lot of that. People trying to comfort me, but they didn’t know how. So I dealt with that for a long time, my husband shipped out two weeks after our son was born. So I had a newborn by myself. I ended up having nursing troubles because my son had an undiagnosed tongue and lip tie. We did end up getting the tie revised - and he did get a better latch but my milk supply was trashed after that. So it just didn’t work out. I ended up seeing a therapist at 6 months postpartum - I still see her today, not with the same frequency. She was amazing! And I feel fully recovered at this point from that experience. But it really impacted me for a really long time.
I remember at one of my postpartum follow ups - I remember one of the midwives - the one who was kind of puzzled that I didn’t want to be induced… she didn’t mean it maliciously - maybe she was trying to comfort me but she said something along the lines of - maybe there is something about your body thats not made to give birth. And that wrecked me for such a long time. I grew to feel confident in my ability, even before I had my VBAC. Yeah, so that was that birth story.
Then I had this strong desire to have another baby. And I think initially it was because I had wanted to have this redemptive birth that I had heard about. I listened to birth podcasts religiously with my first. But then I found the VBAC link when my month was one month old. I listened to them non stop! Covid happened when our son was 5 1/2 months old and my husband got stuck in Chile going to Antarctica for 4 months. He was supposed to be gone for 4-8 weeks and he was gone for 4 months. So that was a really big challenge in my postpartum experience. So I parented alone during that. He returned in September and we decide that once our son hit a year old we would try to have another baby. We had an early miscarriage at around 4 1/2 weeks - I practice fertility awareness method, and so I actually knew I was going to miscarry. My basil body temperature started dropping after I had gotten a positive test, and then my tests started to get really faint.
And although it was really upsetting - I think I was prepared for it to happen so it wasn’t devastating. And I got pregnant again the next month, and I had some bleeding and cramping - around 5 weeks, and that was scary. And I had switched to MDI Hospital in Bar Harbor, Maine. And even my provider who is a midwife was not super hopeful at the time - but she was like, we will just see - we will test your levels and go from there. And to my surprise the levels were amazing, they were more than doubling. And things were looking pretty good - I got to a 9 week ultrasound, and baby was there and my husband got to attend all these ultrasounds because he didn’t before. But then I went in for my 18 week appointment and I remember I had told my husband, I didn’t feel pregnant anymore. My symptoms were gone, I no longer had tender breasts, I get this really weird taste in my mouth when I’m pregnant and that disappeared. And I was just like, oh maybe it’s just I’m reaching halfway and my body is sort of adjusting to these hormones. But I got to my appointment and my husband couldn’t go to that one because it wasn’t a formal ultrasound because of Covid - and there was no heartbeat. And I remember calling my husband and saying - you have to leave work, they said you can come to this confirmation ultrasound - our baby has died. And that was a really horrible experience, but thankfully my provider and then the doctor who came to double check to make sure - she was kind, everyone was very kind and trauma informed. I ended up opting for a D&E which is dilation and evacuation, it’s similar to a D&C but I was too far along to have that procedure. So I had that done at Eastern Maine Medical Center because they don’t perform the D&E at MDI Hospital. And I saw Dr. Claire Faggons and she was remarkable - she was just amazing - for the circumstances, I mean, she talked to me on the phone for hours. I was so afraid of the risks, you could get a Ashermans Syndrome which is scar tissue within your uterus which can cause miscarriage and infertility. So I was just really, really anxious. But it turned out, surprisingly enough, to be not as traumatic as my birth with my first son. Like it was horrible, and I’m still sad about it to this day - but because of the care that I received and the fact that people listened to me, it was so much more of a positive experience.
So I got pregnant again, it was like 3 cycles later. I had some bleeding again, and I was convinced that I was going to miscarry. But I didn’t - I felt kicks at around 13 weeks, which was crazy. I had amazing care through MDI Hospital, I continued to see them in their pregnancy. I was GBS negative this time, I hired a Doula - I hired Sarah Tewhey who is a licensed acupuncturist and herbalist and obviously a doula https://www.sarahtewhey.com I saw a Webster certified chiropractor, I saw Dr. Megan Pinkham at Life Source Family Chiropractic in Ellsworth, Maine. https://www.lifesourcefamilychiro.com I saw her every week, I think starting at 27 or 28 weeks. I saw Kacey Hutchins she is a pelvic floor physical therapist - she has her doctorate in physical therapy https://pelvicrehab.com/practitioner/kacey-hutchins-pt-dpt/ All in all I built this amazing team. I was feeling really good. I wasn’t afraid of uterine rupture going for a VBAC. I just felt really good. My husband was really supportive.
And around 41 weeks the talk about plan for induction came up - but it was very much like - what do you think you want to do. It was very much a conversation and joint decision making versus being told what you are going to do. And I was having on and off contractions for I don’t know how long. Long story short - I ended up having 5-6 days of prodromal labor. I opted for a membrane sweep - I want to say I was 41 weeks when they did that. I had some contractions that lasted for several hours but then they faded away. And at one point the hospital went on diversion - which this almost never happens at MDI Hospital but - they were full. They were full! And Dr. Gassman is the family medicine Osteopathic doctor - and she called me at like 8pm and was like - Hi, so.. don’t go into labor. And I was like - what? And she was very playful and was like I think it will go off but I just wanted to let you know that we are on diversion. So we came up with a tentative plan to go to Bangor if I went into labor. So my doula and acupuncturist was like - let’s stop these treatments - relax, spend a lot of time with your son Henry to try to ward off any labor. And it worked - well I don’t know if it worked or if my body just wasn’t ready. But I went back at 41 weeks and 5 days - I went and got another membrane sweep, because they were off diversion. And I was comfortable with the membrane sweep - I was familiar with the risks and benefits, and I felt ok with that intervention. And my husband was with me, and we went home after that. We made a tentative plan for me to go get induced at 42 weeks - I didn’t really want to do that, but they were very much like - you can cancel that at any time. And I forgot to mention that I had a bio-physical profile and I didn’t pass that - so I was freaking out. And it turned out my baby George was sleeping - they didn’t see limb movement or finger movement and he didn’t move his finger, he was moving and he heart was fine. So I went up to the Obstetrician unit and had another non-stress test which there wasn’t enough variability of his heart rate at first. Then right before we were allowed to leave - he woke up and was moving non stop. And they were like - ahh he was just sleeping. And I was like - oh my goodness! Turns out he was a very sleepy baby and he is still a sleepy guy to this day.
So 41 weeks and 5 days I had the membrane sweep. I went home, then I went and got some acupuncture from my Doula. I felt some contractions as soon as I had the acupuncture treatment. I came home and ate, I was going to go for a walk to try and get things going. But I was like - I should take a nap. So I came home and I slept, and I had been having some contractions on and off - but because I had been having them for 5 days now, I was just like - it’s nothing. Well I woke up after 2 hours of sleep to some very big contractions. I started timing them - my husband was outside building a garden fence with my brother in law - and my son was with my mother in law because I had the appointment and my husband was working on the garden. And I was like ok - I started timing them and they were 3-5 minutes apart, sometimes a minute apart. And I was like surely these will fade away. I got in the shower, and they just kept picking up and I was like - huh. And I went and laid down on my bedroom floor as I was having these contractions. I got to the front door, and my son Henry had arrived home and he got home and slammed the door - and I was like, that can’t be my husband. And I opened the door and was like Colin, I need you to come get Henry - you should call your mom to come back. And so she came and got Henry and after a little while we called my Doula. I was like, I don’t know what this is but I thought you should know. And I sent her a screenshot of the contraction timer and she was like - oh this is great! And she came over around 5pm, I labored at home for an hour and a half and thats when my Doula Sarah said -I’m noticing your having trouble getting into the zone- Im certain this is real labor - what you think about going in? And I kind of wanted her to make that decision for me, I was afraid of getting to the hospital too early. I trusted her, I trusted Sarah. I had seen her through my miscarriages, and when she said that I was like - ok this is ok. So we got ready to go, and everyone says that car rides are terrible in labor - but I was just smiling! I was so happy! This was how I had envisioned my labor with my first son to be. We were only 17 minutes from the hospital and we saw some turkeys and I just think they are ridiculous creatures and I started laughing. Then we saw some deer and I was just so happy - uncomfortable, but I just felt like it was such a privilege to be doing this.
We got there and I had some contractions on the way into the hospital. And we got to registration and they were like - why are you here - then I bent over and started having another contraction. And they were like - oh! But one of our family friends is one of the labor and delivery nurses there and has been for many years, and she met us down there and was like - do you want a wheelchair? And I was like - no this is great, I want to walk! And she was like - ok, are you sure? It was great, I had contractions the whole way up. It’s a small hospital so it wasn’t really long. But I got upstairs and it felt like it took forever to get my vitals and the initial strip with my sons heartbeat and the contractions and everything. I think it was something like an hour and a half before they let me get in the tub. But I did, everything looked great - and I had to have continuous monitoring and an IV because I was a VBAC mom and I consented to that, and I knew ahead of time that was the case. And just to backup I had a VBAC birth plan and I had a cesarean birth plan, because I knew I needed to be prepared - and I wanted them to know what I wanted if I needed a cesarean. And they knew I wanted to labor in the tub - and I just labored in the tub for hours.
I remember looking at the clock at midnight and I started to feel a lot of pressure. I remember thinking its only this time, it seems like its going by so fast. And everyone was like - ok! And I want to say my water broke soon after that. Things started to get more intense. I arrived at the hospital at 6cm and 85% effaced which was further along than I got with my son with my induction - so I was so happy, I started crying. I know that can be a sticky point for a lot of VBAC moms, like where you were in dilation or effacement in your previous labor. And yeah, I started to get intense back labor after my water broke - and when my water broke I started to see some pink in the water - no meconium, and I remember seeing the little baby hairs floating around in the tub. I just thought - this is so cool! But I had two pretty big blood clots like the size of golf balls - so they asked me to get out of the tub. So the doctor who was on call was Dr. Gassman, she is the Obstetrician as opposed to the midwife who I had been seeing for most of my prenatal appointments. They just guessed that I dilated so rapidly after my water broke that there was some bleeding. She wasn’t worried - but after that - I was listening to hypnobirthing tracks the whole time, but I came out of that and into my head at that point. And I was like - what if its uterine rupture - I just started to get really nervous in my conscious mind at that point. And so I found it really hard to get back into that.
I took my earbuds out and was like - I’m not going to breath my baby down, this is BS. But I was still really excited to be laboring. But then the back labor got really intense, at one point I made a joke like is it too late to get an epidural. And they were like yeah, it kind of it. And then I was like, no I’m joking. But then after 45 minutes I was like, I’m not joking anymore. And they were really good about trying to phrase it while being trauma informed but not coercive - they were like, by the time they get here your baby will be here. And my doula was like - let’s just take it one contraction at a time. And so however she phrased that - it really got me back into the groove of things - I was focused again. I started to feel some pain, it didn’t feel like it was coming from my cesarean scar - I was nervous. It was a tricky mental hurdle to get over. I was checked and I was mostly 10cm and I had a cervical lip that was starting to swell. And I had heard so many stories about how this is where the VBAC labor stops, and I was scared. I had been pushing for some time now - I now know it was because I had been feeling so much pressure - it wasn’t the fetal ejection reflex yet. So I was pushing - and Dr. Gassman was like - I need you to stop pushing, if you can. She was very gentle in her wording which I so appreciated. And I guess I did, which I don’t really remember. And she asked if she could push the cervical lip out of the way, and I was like - yeah sure whatever! And my doula later said that she actually didn’t even need to do that, and my son came barreling down.
We didn’t know he was a boy - we opted to wait to find out. And after two hours of pushing - not all of which was actually pushing - it was more like trying to breathe my baby down. Which I know can happen, for me it just didn’t. But then my baby was born, I think I tried a million different positions - I kept going from the toilet to leaning over. I remember just feeling like a hamster in a cage just kind of running around trying to find any of these positions that worked. And I didn’t really want to push on my back but that ended up being what worked for me. I had the squat bar and I was doing tug of war with a sheet - and my husband had one leg and my doula had the other because the squat bar was too wide - I’m very short, so they were holding onto my feet. And I pushed him out - and I remember - I kind of gave an F U statement to the midwife that told me that maybe I wasn’t meant to give birth. And I just remember crying and there was this wet baby on my chest and uhhh it was just SO amazing! And I was like, I’m not broken, I’m not broken. And I’ve actually never told this story out loud - so I’m not surprised I’m sort of tearing up right now. It was just this magnificent moment! The placenta came out and I started to bleed a little bit more than they would have liked. They asked for my consent and they gave me a shot of Pitocin. That was ok.
So yeah, I pushed my baby out! He was 9 1/2 pounds with a 15inch head - and he was 21 1/2 inches long - and like I said I’m not even 5’2” so nobody knew he was going to be that big of a baby. And I held him up and was like - its a boy! And it was just this wonderful, wonderful redemptive VBAC. I do remember I used the squat bar to stand up - even though nobody gave me permission to do that - but afterwards my Doula said that Dr. Gassman was just like - Awesome! Like she just was all about me doing whatever I felt comfortable doing and everyone I guess was just amazed I was following my body and squatting when I needed to squat. My Doula, I just got in contact with her a couple days ago and she was like - your VBAC story is one of my favorite stories. And so yeah, that was my VBAC.
After my name I didn’t go to sleep until probably 24 hours later because I was just on such a high! It was amazing! So postpartum with baby - George - I did have some pelvic organ prolapse. I worked with Kacey Hutchins. It was a very mild prolapse. And I actually found out last year that I actually had a cervical laceration that never healed together and that was likely where my blood clots came from and the bleeding that I had immediately postpartum. Dr. Gassman has consulted with several other doctors in the area, but the consensus is that it doesn’t need to be repaired unless it gets worse - and that there shouldn’t be any complications with any future pregnancies or births.
I still feel so amazing how everything unfolded and the care that I received. The midwife that I worked with was Tiana Larson, she is a CNM and Dr. Gassman and Tianna both are just amazing providers. The nurses at MDI Hospital are just wonderful, they were rooting for me the whole time! And I remember right after George was born they got me a coffee chocolate milkshake - and I was like oh my gosh! I didn’t even get a postpartum meal for my first birth experience - for I don’t even remember how long. It was such a crazy experience with my first, I didn’t eat for a really long time. But yeah, such a redemptive experience. And I don’t know if we will have any more kids - but part of me is like I would just love to have a VBAC every day - even though the back labor was pretty gnarly. But yeah, I got my unmedicated, intervention free VBAC and it was just amazing!
It was kind of amazing too, because one of the only things I remember from my son being born in the OR was like - Baby has red hair. And this time around, it wasn’t even a conscious thing - but he was born and put on my chest and I was like - baby has red hair! And it was just like this full circle moment. And I was the one that got to say that he was a boy. And it was just wonderful. I will never stop talking about my VBAC! So yeah, those were my births. And I am in the process of getting certified to be a perinatal mood and anxiety disorder therapist. And then I also have plans to become a Doula eventually, after I get some things situated - probably a few years down the line.
Angela: So what advice would you give to new parents after your experience?
Katie: Trust your intuition! I later learned through therapy, that the feelings that I had leading up to my induction - were intuition based, I just knew it was wrong. But I trusted my gut during my most recent pregnancy. And to tap into that and to try and figure out what is anxiety and what is intuition. And it can be hard, but your intuition can tell you a lot - it tells you a lot. So to do that, and to research. After my first son Henry was born, I researched so much - partly because I am a self proclaimed Birth nerd and I am obsessed with Birth to this day. But do your research. And figure things out for yourself. And have conversations with your provider about what might be safe, what might not be safe - and to make your own decisions. Shared decision making with your provider will go a long way. And in terms of resources - birth podcasts, a whole list - but the ones I mainly listen to are The Birth Hour, The VBAC link podcast, that was gold for me. And then Birth Queens, I don’t think they put out any new episodes anymore, but they were just so funny and amazing. And evidence Based Birth - so much yes for evidence based birth podcast and the website https://www.evidencebasedbirth.com Spinning babies - I did spinning babies exercises every day from 14 weeks on. I have so much to say but I will leave it at that.
Angela: Yeah and it is sometimes so hard to recognize when you need to switch your care providers.
Katie: Yeah I remember at my first postpartum visit I felt shame - and I don’t know why. I do want to say I think the providers at the first hospital, I don’t think they meant any harm - I think they have insurance and other policies in place to avoid litigation - I don’t think any of them are bad providers, I think some of them could have used a little more trauma informed training - but I think they are good people. And there was definitely one midwife I connected with the most. But I felt shamed, and embarrassment when I went for my postpartum visit. I went for a few more appointments for birth control and things like that, but I could never shake that anxiety of going there, and I was like - I can’t go back. My goal is not to tarnish their reputation or anything like that, but this was just my experience. So yeah, finding a new provider and a fresh start, especially if it was care related trauma can be really healing and empowering - like I made this decision to go somewhere else.
Angela: Well thank you so much Katie for sharing your birth story today
Katie: Yeah, thanks for having me!
And that’s the end of another episode of the MyMaine Birth Podcast! Thank you for joining me and listening! I hope that the stories shared here have been inspiring and informative to all of my listeners.
If you’re looking to capture your own birth story, I highly recommend considering my Maine birth photography services. I am a skilled professional Maine Birth Photographer, and am very passionate about capturing the raw and emotional moments of the birthing process, annnnd I also design a personalized and intimate photo album, creating a beautiful and lasting memory of one of the most special moments of your life. For more information about Maine Birth Photography head over to https://www.mymainephoto.com and schedule a complementary zoom consultation with me!
Thank you again for tuning in and I look forward to bringing you more amazing birth stories. Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a review! And I’ll See you back here again, next week.
