MyMaine Birth Devon’s Maine Home Birth and the Importance of Having Patience in Pregnancy
Today’s birth story guest is Devon, and she shares the story of her Maine home birth with loving care from Sacopee Midwives. She also discusses the importance of having patience, especially late in pregnancy.
The journey of childbirth is as unique as the individuals who experience it. In the latest podcast episode, we're given a glimpse into the profound experience of home birth through the story of Devin, a Maine resident who, with the support of her husband Travis and the Sokobie Midwives, brought her child into the world within the warmth and familiarity of her own home.
The narrative begins with the anticipation and efforts to conceive, a 16-month period of determination and lifestyle changes. When Devin discovered she was expecting, her dive into the world of birth options led her to choose a home birth. The decision wasn't just about comfort; it was a deeply personal choice fueled by her challenging path to pregnancy. The involvement of the Sacopee Midwives brought a holistic and compassionate approach to her care, allowing Devin and Travis to craft their birth narrative with trust and informed choice at the forefront.
As Devin recounts the day of her son's birth, we're invited into an intimate space filled with the intensity of labor. She describes the unpredictable nature of her contractions, the supportive embrace of her husband, and the unexpected shift from her desired water birth to delivering on her side in bed. Despite the physical exhaustion, the arrival of her son was met with immediate empowerment, an overwhelming sense of achievement that left Devin ready to face the experience again.
Postpartum life is seldom discussed in detail, yet it's a time of great transformation. The podcast episode delves into the delicate weeks following birth, the challenges of breastfeeding, and the importance of establishing boundaries with family. Devin's story is a testament to the strength and resilience required during this time, and the critical role of partner support and self-advocacy.
It’s important to note, that ultrasounds can sometimes provide inaccurate information. Similarly, predicting the precise due date of a baby is challenging, and it’s not unusual for the actual delivery date to vary from the estimated due date. If you are an expecting mother it is essential to understand that these estimates are just that - estimates - and should not be taken as definitive indicators.
Similarly predicting the due date of a baby is not an exact science. Traditionally, healthcare providers calculate the due date based on the first day of the mother’s last menstrual period and make adjustments as the pregnancy progresses. However, this method assumes a regular 28 day menstrual cycle and ovulation occurring on day 14. In reality women’s menstrual cycles can vary, and the timing of ovulation is not always predictable.
Moreover, factors such as the length of gestation, the baby’s growth rate, and the timing of implantation can influence the actual length of pregnancy. As a result, it is entirely normal for a woman to go into labor before or after her estimated due date.
If you are a pregnant mother, it is important to remember that labor typically begins when both the mother’s body and the baby are ready. The baby’s development, hormonal changes, and the mother’s body preparation all contribute to the onset of labor. While the due date provides a general timeframe for when to expect the baby, it’s crucial to be flexible and have patience in those final weeks, understanding that the actual delivery date may vary.
Ultimately maintaining open communication with your health provider, discussing any concerns or questions you may have, and staying informed about the variability of ultrasounds and due dates will help you manage your expectations and approach your pregnancy with confidence.
As part of my commitment to capturing these moments I am proud to offer my birth photography services to families throughout Maine. As an experienced birth photographer I’m dedicated to capturing the beauty and emotion of this special moment. Click HERE for all of the info!
Devon: 0:00
you know, it was just doing everything for about 10 minutes and seeing what works and letting the baby sort of move a little bit in each position into the right spot. So what really helped me make a lot of progress was like standing and holding onto my husband's shoulders and that was, I think, the hardest moment of labor for me. Is I just? I remember thinking like my legs are going to collapse. Nobody understands right now. I have nothing left in my body. I just was so, so tired and I felt like I couldn't stand. But nope, just kept going and I ended up laying on my left side in bed and within minutes he was crowning, crowning. So I ended up delivering him on the bed, which is totally not what I expected.
Devon: 0:47
I think sort of the home birth of my dreams I guess was in the pool, but it all worked out really well. So my husband was down sort of watching. I didn't want a mirror, but it was really cool to watch him see the baby come out. When his head came out, my husband started crying and that was just the moment that sort of got me through, like I saw his reaction and I was like okay, we can do this, we're almost done and that'll like be my favorite moment forever. So, yeah, his head came out and I heard them talking and knew he looked blue and he wasn't breathing. But I also knew that was normal. So I just kind of like laid there and waited for the next contraction and his body just torpedoed out. That was a crazy feeling as well. And, yeah, it was just. He was there and he cried right away.
Devon: 1:38
That was at 11 26, so it was like 13 hours total from the first contraction. So they, they put him right on my chest and he was crazy looking. He had a huge cone head, he had a bruise, sort of, on one side of his head, but I thought he was adorable, of course, and blowing spit bubbles and just laying on my chest and I think everything after that it just all is such a blur. I, I had him on my chest and we're trying to nurse for the first time. So I I remember I got a shot of pitocin um for the bleeding and they had me cough to deliver like of placenta and I remember it being uncomfortable, but in that moment I just didn't care anymore. He was here, he was okay, I felt okay. One of the first things I said was like I could do that again. It just immediately felt like as hard as that was, that wasn't so bad.
Angela: 2:44
I'm Angela and you're listening to my Maine Birth a space where we share the real life stories of families and their unique birth experiences in the beautiful state of Maine. From our state's biggest hospitals to birth center births and home births, every birth story deserves to be heard and celebrated, from the first feelings of pregnancy to the first cry of your newborn, we explore the journey of childbirth in all of its beauty, intensity and emotion. Whether you're a soon-to-be mom, a seasoned mother or simply interested in the world of birth, these episodes are for you. If you're currently expecting, I want to invite you to grab a new download I've created. It's completely free. It's called Conversations with your Care Provider. In this download, you'll get access to a comprehensive list of the questions you really should be asking your care provider. It provides a structured framework for having meaningful conversations with potential care providers or established care providers should be asking your care provider. It provides a structured framework for having meaningful conversations with potential care providers or established care providers, helping you to easily gather the essential information to make the most informed decisions.
Angela: 3:56
This free download I've put together is a valuable resource whether you're in the process of interviewing care providers or if you've already established care. It provides guidance on important topics to discuss and how to assess their answers, allowing you to take charge of your birth journey with confidence. Head over to MyMainPhotocom to grab your free copy of Conversations with your Care Provider today. Conversations with your care provider today. Now sit back, relax and join me as we dive into the world of childbirth in Maine and discover the joy, strength and love that is at the heart of every birth story. Today's birth story guest is Devin, and she shares all about her main home birth with love and care from Sokobay Midwives. Hi, devin. Welcome to my main birth. Hi. So to jump right into it, do you want to start by sharing a little bit about you and your family?
Devon: 4:58
Sure. So I live with my husband Travis and our son Anders, who's 10 weeks old, and we have two dogs, a bunch of chickens and rabbits, and we live in Alfred, which is like in Southern Maine.
Angela: 5:12
Awesome. So now tell me about when you first found out you were pregnant and a little bit about your thoughts in choosing your care.
Devon: 5:21
Sure. So we started trying to get pregnant right after we got married and just kind of thought it would be easy. Like you know, we're young and healthy and it didn't turn out to be super easy. After like a couple months, you know, I started changing my diet, changing like sort of cutting back on exercise, adding supplements, things like that, and started tracking like my temperature. All that and still, you know, wasn't having any luck, wasn't getting my period. And so after a year, ended up going getting blood work done which confirmed like I wasn't ovulating, which I kind of knew at that point from just tracking everything. And so I went to see my gynecologist for like a you know next steps type visit and she prescribed Clomid like a fertility medication and I told her like I think I actually ovulated this week and she's like no, we did the blood work, you didn't. And I was like no, I think I did, so I'm going to wait a little bit. And she's like okay, you know, you have the prescription. So I waited a week and I took a test that morning that I was going to start Clomid and it was positive.
Devon: 6:31
So it was just a crazy turn of events. So it ended up taking us like 16 months, which I think you know I know some people it takes a really long time, but that felt long and hard but made it really extra exciting, I think. So I just burst into our bedroom and told my husband and he thought all our chickens had been killed in the night because I was freaking out so much. But yeah, we were just both crying and really in shock and I think, combined with that, the weight of getting pregnant led me to choose maybe different care than I would have. I think, had I gotten pregnant right away, I probably would have opted for like a more traditional like OBGYN, hospital care and birth. But I sort of got into the birth world just by, by trying to get pregnant and like reading a lot and you know the Instagram algorithm, and so I kind of discovered home birth as like a safe option.
Devon: 7:31
Um, I it just hadn't, you know, I hadn't been exposed that much and so I hadn't, I hadn't talked to my husband at all about it until we got pregnant. I kind of threw it out there, expecting him to push back a bit, but he was really supportive and you know it's like it's you're going through it. So I trust you and I had already like kind of decided who I wanted to go with, which is Sokobie Midwives in Leamington, and so I didn't reach out to anyone else, I didn't interview multiple midwives, I did a consultation with them and felt like it was a really good fit. I know people you know recommend talking to a bunch and finding someone that fits, but I just had a really good feeling about them and it it all went really well, Very happy.
Angela: 8:15
Oh my gosh, amazing. So did you do your consultation with them, like when, after you found out you're pregnant, or was it before, while you were trying?
Devon: 8:23
No. So it wasn't until after I found out I had read about them and heard them on a couple podcasts. You know, acadia is like also a running coach, and so I listened to a running podcast. She was on and they just kind of kept coming up on my radar and so as soon as I found out I was pregnant, I reached out to them and did like a Zoom consultation and just felt like yep they're just as great as I thought and I don't need to talk to anyone else.
Angela: 8:50
So tell me about your pregnancy and the care how that kind of went with a home birth midwife team.
Devon: 8:56
It was incredible. I've never really received medical care that I enjoyed. I think I've typically, you know like I get medical care when I need to, but I've never looked forward to an appointment and this was just completely different. I remember coming home from my first appointment feeling like that was a therapy session. You know it didn't feel like a medical appointment. We just talked about, you know, my feelings and hopes and it was just very comforting to me and I didn't feel that sense of anxiety that I sometimes get in more like medicalized settings Sokobye has.
Devon: 9:30
You know you have your appointments at Brenda's house. She's one of the midwives and you're looking out at the river. She has baby goats and chickens outside. It's just a very different setting than going to a traditional office. So all the appointments were an hour long. We might get into this in a bit with finally going into labor, but I ended up not going into labor until fairly late and one of my last appointments we just went on a really long walk instead of sitting in the office trying to just get the baby out. So I think it really fit my approach to pregnancy and life in general and I loved that my husband was really involved in the appointments as well.
Angela: 10:12
Yeah, that's so special so now. So then, like medically kind of, throughout your pregnancy, did you do any testing, did you just? I know like they'll give you all of the choices usually and let you decide. So what kind of choices did you make throughout your pregnancy?
Devon: 10:29
Yeah, that's one thing I really loved about like the midwifery model was having like such an informed choice. They would really lay out like the pros, the cons and then it's completely up to you, sort of what you do. So I did a dating ultrasound in the beginning because my cycle had been so all over the place we weren't quite sure exactly how far long I was, so I had that around 10 weeks and then I did the 20 week anatomy scan. I did opt to do GBS testing and was like glad to be negative and just not have to worry about that. And then, because I went like significantly past 40 weeks, I had to get a couple ultrasounds at the very end just to check the fluid levels. But I didn't have to. I chose to and I felt more comfortable doing that. I think especially when you go past 42 weeks, people start to scare you. I was getting just so many questions and other people's fears and so I felt more comfortable getting a couple ultrasounds done to just make sure everything looked OK.
Devon: 11:38
And that was exciting too, because they did a 3D ultrasound which I hadn't gotten. I was like, oh, that was kind of a nice silver lining to get to see his face. But yeah, I think that's kind of think what else? There were some options at birth. We got the vitamin K shot, not the eye ointment, but I really enjoyed having all those choices.
Angela: 11:57
Yeah, it's really just such a great level of care to be able to just not have a lot of pressure. You know, just have all of that information there laid out.
Devon: 12:08
Yeah, it makes you really kind of forced to do your research. I think if someone had given me a strong opinion I would have, you know, been a pleaser maybe and just said okay, but I think, actually having to make the decision completely for yourself, I really looked into things a lot more than I might have in a more sort of traditional setting.
Angela: 12:28
Yeah, that's a really great point. Now walk me through the last few weeks of your pregnancy and how that all kind of unfolded leading up to your birth. That all kind of unfolded leading up to your birth.
Devon: 12:38
So it was crazy. So my due date came and went. I had, you know, people tell you. The midwives told me first time, moms especially you should anticipate at least a week late. That's super normal. But of course I somehow got it in my head that he was going to be early. He was a little big. My friends who had a boy also went early and I just was like, yeah, I'm not going to even hit my due date. I did, but I was like, ok, that's normal. So I like I hit 41 weeks, like OK, ready to have a baby, and then like I hit 42 weeks and that's typically the mark where you have to get induced in the hospital but with home birth in Maine you're allowed to go to 43 weeks.
Devon: 13:25
I think physically I felt okay, like obviously very pregnant and it was summer and it was hot, but I didn't feel any worse really than I did at 40 weeks. I was getting a lot of like just uncomfortable aches and pains, but you know it was tolerable. I think emotionally it was really difficult, just the anticipation of thinking every day could be it and then it's not. And dealing with other people was, I think, the hardest, like really well-intentioned people just reaching out and wanting to know if the baby's here, wanting to know why I don't have an induction date, and I was really trying to stick to my guns and let the baby come when he was ready to come. So I ended up putting my phone on do not disturb and just saying I can't mentally sort of field all these questions anymore. And my mom was very kind and answered a lot of questions from other family members.
Devon: 14:25
But it was overwhelming at the time and I was trying to sort of do this balance of nudging labor. The midwives gave me this long list of things to nudge labor. So not going for castor oil, for castor oil, like they told me. You know, that's the big guns, don't do that unless we really really have to. But I tried nearly everything. I did like the car walking, I tried nursing my friend's baby.
Devon: 14:49
I was like doing anything I could but also wanting to like let it happen naturally, and it would change minute by minute. I'd be like, okay, I'm going to get this baby out and I'd say, no, I'm going to wait until he's ready. And then I just couldn't even decide what I wanted. So he was eventually born at 42 weeks and five days. So I was getting anxious about hitting that 43 week mark, because if labor hadn't started by then I would have to go and get induced, which I was trying to avoid. So it all worked out. It was just like a crazy time of trying to sort of protect my inner peace, I guess. And you know, just keep on going day by day.
Angela: 15:33
Yeah, yeah, it's super hard, especially when, like everybody, well intentionally just wants to know you know, like, what's going on.
Devon: 15:41
What are you gonna do about this?
Angela: 15:42
and it's like, well, I'm just waiting. My body knows what to do, my baby knows what to do. It's hard, that's super super hard.
Devon: 15:48
Yeah, and I know there are studies that you know talk about risks after 42 weeks, um, and I talked to the midwives about that and, you know, obviously didn't want to add additional risk but they weren't worried about me going past, so but it was hard to sort of defend that to other people and having to constantly do that was tricky. I was actually planning to start taking some herbs the morning that he was eventually born. I was like, okay, I'm going to do it. We have to avoid that 43 week mark. I'm going to do. I'd gotten a couple herbs that the midwives recommended, but he seemed to know he was about to get evicted and came on his own. So it was perfect.
Angela: 16:30
Yeah, so now tell me about how your labor started and about your birth.
Devon: 16:36
Yeah. So I went to bed I guess I was 42 and four and as soon as I laid down I felt something that I hadn't felt before and I had started to wonder, like will I even know that I'm in labor? Because I felt so many twinges and I felt one contraction Yep, that's a contraction. So I tried to sleep, but I really didn't have sort of that period I anticipated of like contractions really spaced out and they, as soon as they started, they were about five minutes apart. So I didn't, I wasn't really able to sleep at that point.
Devon: 17:16
I decided to let my husband sleep and just sort of do early labor on my own and see how it was progressing. My stomach was like feeling really upset and I hadn't had much of an appetite that day. So I was trying to just rest and prepare for sort of like a long couple of hours. But they were more intense than I expected. I'd heard you know they could feel like period cramps at first, and no, that's, that's definitely not a period. So that was around 1030 that they started, and then around midnight I texted the midwives to let them know and just say you know, I don't need anyone to come over yet.
Devon: 17:54
But I'm definitely like in early labor. And they called, I think, to sort of listen to how I sounded and the contractions were like yeah, about five minutes apart, and they said they would just be on standby to let them know when I was ready for them to come over. So I woke my husband up around two and he didn't even believe me at first. He was like we had both somehow convinced ourselves that I would just never have the baby. I think. Like, as silly as it sounds, of course it had to come out, but we had been excited for so long that it just didn't even feel real. So once he realized it was real, he kind of like jumped into action and, you know, called his work and started being there to support me and pretty quickly, once he was up, like my contractions started picking up. They were like three minutes apart and I started throwing up and so I started panicking. I had heard that you kind of throw up during transition and I thought, oh my gosh, what if I'm about to have this baby? The midwives aren't here. So we called them and said you know, I think we'd like you to come over. Now things seem to be picking up.
Devon: 19:02
It was not transition, I was just throwing up, but it was really nice to have them to just be there and like, reassure me, everything was okay. They I had told them ahead of time that I wanted them to be hands-on. I wanted them to be in the room. I wanted them to be hands-on. I wanted them to be in the room, I wanted reassurance that everything happening was normal. And when I was really in the moment, I just went upstairs. They stayed downstairs and they would come up every hour or so maybe and take the baby's heart rate, but for the most part it was just my husband and I in our room, put the lights off, lit some candles and we just, you know, had some space to ourselves, which is not what I thought I wanted. They suggested sleeping between contractions, which I thought was crazy. Like I definitely can't do that and I tried it, like laid down and was able to sleep between every contraction, would like jump up out of bed, walk around during a contraction and lay back down and fall asleep. That was great. To like sneak in some sleep because I hadn't slept, you know, like 24 hours or something. I was sitting on the floor at one point and felt like a trickle, and it did turn out to be amniotic fluid. So I thought I put in a pad and was going to just lay on the bed for a while. About an hour later my water really popped, which was something that surprised me. I didn't know if it was trickling that it could also then pop. So that was cool. I really thought it was one of my favorite moments. It was just such an interesting feeling. It was just such an interesting feeling.
Devon: 20:37
I think throughout early labor and up until that point I had been really calm and just kind of looking back and shocked how calm I felt. I wasn't anxious at all, I was just like all right, we're doing this. And I think at that point I realized OK, things usually really pick up once your water breaks and this is already pretty intense. Like I started to get a little psyched out and I was throwing up a lot. It was hard to keep any liquids or foods down and as soon as my water broke I was vomiting again. So I think in that moment I was just starting to get a bit overwhelmed. Like things are getting more intense, I'm getting tired, I don't have any food in my body, and that was about nine hours after my first contraction that my water broke.
Devon: 21:26
So at that point the midwives asked if I wanted to get in the pool to kind of help me get a bit calmed down and deal with the more intense contractions after my water broke. So I said I said yeah, and they quickly filled the pool. I got in there and it did give me a lot of relief in terms of the contractions, just felt so good to be floating and just in a different, a different room, like it was morning now, and it felt like okay, kind of a clean slate in a way. And once I was in the tub I pretty quickly started to feel like the urge to push. So I got checked for the first time. I hadn't gotten any cervical checks until then and I just had a tiny lip, so that was really reassuring. I was glad I had waited and you know just got good news that I was almost ready to push. So I spent, you know, a couple more minutes in the tub just trying to kind of breathe through contractions and not push, which was really hard. And they checked one more time and I was good to go.
Devon: 22:27
So I started pushing in the pool and that had been my plan. I was hoping for sort of a water birth and I just could not get comfortable or I couldn't get sort of grounded and have something to hold on to. I felt like I was just flopping around in the pool a bit and it was getting really hot. It was like a warm summer day. It was getting into like late morning and we don't have air conditioning. I was like really sweaty and so we decided to get out of the pool and I started pushing just in lots of different positions. I tried the birth stool, tried the toilet, tried like hands and knees tried. You know, it was just doing everything for about 10 minutes and seeing what works and letting the baby sort of rest, move a little bit in each position into the right spot. So what really helped me make a lot of progress was like standing and holding onto my husband's shoulders, and that was, I think, the hardest moment of labor for me is I just I remember thinking like my legs are going to collapse, like nobody understands right now, like I have nothing left in my body, just was so, so tired and I felt like I couldn't stand, but nope, just kept going and I ended up laying on my left side in bed and within minutes like he was crowning. So I ended up delivering him on the bed, which is totally not what I expected.
Devon: 23:55
I think sort of the the home birth of my like dreams, I guess, was in the pool, but it all worked out really well. So my husband was down sort of watching I didn't want a mirror, but it was really cool to watch him see the baby come out. And when his head came out, my husband started crying and that was just the moment that sort of got me through. I saw his reaction and I was like, okay, we can do this, we're almost done and that'll like be my favorite moment forever. So, yeah, his head came out and I heard like them talking and knew he looked blue and he wasn't breathing, but I also knew that was normal. So I just kind of like laid there and waited for the next contraction and his body just torpedoed out. That was a crazy feeling as well and yeah, it was just he was there and he cried right away. That was at 11 26, so it was like 13 hours total from the first contraction.
Devon: 24:58
So they, they put him right on my chest and you know he was crazy looking. He had huge cone head, he had a bruise sort of on one side of his head, but you know, I thought he was adorable, of course, and like blowing spit bubbles and just laying on my chest and I think everything after that, like I, it just all is such a blur. I had him on my chest and we're trying to nurse for the first time. So I remember I got a shot of Pitocin for the bleeding and they had me cough to deliver it, like birth of placenta, and I remember it being uncomfortable, but in that moment I just didn't care anymore.
Devon: 25:40
To deliver like birth of placenta, and I remember it being uncomfortable, but in that moment I just didn't care anymore. Like he was here, he was okay, I felt okay. I one of the first things I said was like I could do that again, just immediately felt like as hard as that was, that was, that wasn't so bad. So all these things I'm saying were like harder than expected. I think was totally doable, it was manageable. I think birth is just wild and you can't. You can read so much about it and listen to so many podcasts, but nothing quite prepared me for the intensity. So I think the biggest sort of wrinkle in the whole birth was.
Devon: 26:21
They checked me, you know, after the placenta came out and they did his exam. They looked and kind of told me that they would really recommend transferring to a hospital to get my hair repaired. They said, you know, they would be willing to do it at home, but if it were them, they would really choose to go to the hospital, which was convincing to me like it was. I really really did not want to go to the hospital. I felt like I just did this at home, with you know where we want to get in the shower and then cuddle up in bed. This is sort of the moment I've been waiting for. A home birth is getting to cuddle up under the covers in your own bed and fall asleep. And it almost felt extra frustrating that he was born at home. I'm very grateful, you know, that I didn't have to transfer earlier, but it's like, oh man.
Devon: 27:15
So we, you know, got our golden hour at home, had a little food, I took a shower and got dressed, got the baby dress, and we loaded him up in the car seat, which felt crazy, you know. He's like two hours old and trying to figure out the car seat. You know I'm all torn up and but so we drove to Maine Med in Portland and Grace one of the midwives came with us, which was incredibly helpful. I think I was not in a condition to be answering questions. They were asking me, you know, tell me about your pregnancy? And it was like I couldn't even think honestly. I was like I don't even know it was good. I couldn't even think honestly. I was like I don't even know it was good. And she was able to tell them like she's GBS negative and, you know, give them actually information that they needed.
Devon: 28:08
And Acadia, the other midwife that was here for the birth. She stayed at our house and cleaned everything up. She walked our dogs. So when we came home it was incredible. It was like cleaner than it had started. Our dogs were happy, felt very like cared for in that way by them. So, yeah, I ended up having a third degree tear and got that repaired, which I think was the worst part of the whole process. It's just something I hadn't planned for at all. I think I had done a lot of mental and physical preparation for labor and birth but just hadn't anticipated that level of care. But, yeah, we went home that night. It wasn't like I had to be admitted or anything. They checked out the bruise on his head as well, which was reassuring to just get another set of eyes on him and they thought he was totally fine and we got home and went to bed. So we eventually did get you know our moment of cuddling up in bed. It just had a little hiccup in there of a drive to the hospital.
Angela: 29:10
Yeah, oh, my gosh. So they just kind of stitched you up right in the emergency room like exam room they didn't have to go into like a surgery room.
Devon: 29:16
So I went to labor and delivery. The midwives had called ahead, which was really nice, so they were ready for me when I got there and I think it would have been extra hard to like wait in the ER to get stitched up. So, and something I hadn't known is like you really want to get it done as soon as possible and I hadn't wanted to rush out of the house because literally just had a baby and was starving and exhausted. But the doctors did say next time you should really get here sooner because it will make it a lot easier for you to get stitched up right away than to wait a couple hours and delivery. I don't know exactly what it was, maybe one of their full rooms, I don't totally know and they were amazing.
Devon: 30:05
I was a little bummed that we had to go to Maine Med. That's where the midwives recommended. They said we would want to go to Maine Med and so I said okay, even though we have a hospital like 10 minutes away and Maine Med was 40 minutes, I just don't want to sit in the car Like everything hurts. Why drive 40 minutes when you could drive 10, but they were incredible.
Devon: 30:25
I just felt like they really supported the fact that I'd had a home birth, I was worried that there might be some sort of judgment of like you know you could have avoided this if, if you'd given birth in the hospital or know you waited too long or they were, you know, nothing but supportive. And you know, I just squeezed the nurse's hand really, really hard and and tough through it. But I'm I'm really grateful that I went there. I think once I got there and they were able to really like numb me up a bit more and check things out, it was even more like a worse tear than the midwives thought. So they were glad that that we transferred.
Angela: 31:09
Wow, that's tough. So when you got home, you got into bed, and how was the next few days of postpartum then for you? After that, your midwives came back to visit you. How was the next few days of postpartum then for you?
Devon: 31:21
after that, your midwives came back to visit you, yeah, so they came back for a 24-hour visit and then they do a three-day visit a week visit, three-week, six-week and 12-week. I think that's right and so, yeah, they came back the next afternoon. I think that first night was really great. Like he slept really well. I know those early days you're supposed to keep waking them up, but he was just really tired from being born and I was really tired. We all slept well and I think it wasn't until like day two or three when it sort of started to set in how much pain I was in and how hard the first couple weeks would be. I think I had watched and listened to a lot of really positive birth stories, which is great and I would say I had a very positive birth story. But I had this idealistic image in my mind of like I was going to bake him a birthday cake the next day and really do all these things that I couldn't get out of bed. I couldn't. It was so, so painful, um, and I think I was not mentally prepared for that. Like I had the supplies, I was like physically prepared to like deal with being postpartum, but I think I I wasn't really ready mentally to be in so much pain and not be able to get the baby out of the bassinet or do really really basic things. And my husband, anders, was born on a Thursday and he had to go back to work Monday, so we really didn't have a lot of time like all three of us, and Travis was a ton of help when he was home, but then he had to go back for like 12 hour work days. So it it felt too soon to be alone with a baby in that state. But I think everything has just, you know, slowly got better.
Devon: 33:16
Um, there were days when I felt like I will never walk again. It felt really dramatic at the beginning. I think I just was not prepared and I felt like I'm not going to do anything this summer, I'm just going to lay in bed. And now I'm going to the beach and I've started running and it's really incredible how fast your body heals. I wish I had been able to go a little bit easier on it and be able to just lay in bed for a couple of weeks, but it just isn't how it worked out this time. So it was hard. But now I'm at 10 weeks postpartum and I think I feel like a totally different person in a really good way. Wow, yeah, that's incredible, yeah it's, it's crazy. You just really don't have a choice, which is the hard part, but I think what gets you through and it's like, well, I have to take care of my baby, I have to get up and get a drink of water so I can do it.
Devon: 34:14
And I think the other challenge is breastfeeding. I, you know, had heard it can be hard and didn't quite understand what that even meant. I think it just seems like it should be natural and come natural to mom and come natural to the baby. But it went okay for the first day or two and then I was having a lot of pain.
Devon: 34:36
I saw two different lactation specialists and they sort of determined he babies normally have this reflex where when you touch, like between their upper lip and their nose, they open their mouth really wide. And Anders just doesn't do that, like you can touch that area as much as you want and his little mouth just stays closed, and so it made his latch really shallow and painful. So I tried to push through and just think like it has to get better. It has to get better.
Devon: 35:07
You know, everybody's sore at the beginning and eventually the second lactation specialist I saw it's like you really need to give your body a break and so I pumping. So I've been mostly pumping and we nurse like once or twice a day and that's been a really good combination for us that my body can sort of recover from his latch issues and we can slowly work on that. But he's still getting fed and we actually love it because my husband gets to do feedings as well and we get to sort of share that experience, like the positives of the bonding and the sweet moments of feeding and also the hard parts of like middle of the night, and so that's worked out well in the end.
Angela: 35:54
Yeah, yeah, and just really giving yourself grace to just go with what's working for you in the moment. This is working for you today, but maybe tomorrow something else might work, you know, and just really just let it flow and just you know not be hard on yourself yeah, I think that that part was really hard.
Devon: 36:12
You just I wanted it so badly to work and felt like if you just keep trying and you just keep trying, it'll work at some point. And it took a long time to realize it's not working and I think even the baby was getting sort of stressed by it. I hated it so much, it was so painful that it wasn't enjoyable for him. And I think that's the point when I felt like we need to reevaluate this, like I'm sort of getting tunnel vision and not thinking about the big picture. I've been a lot happier and more comfortable since, like switching up that routine.
Angela: 36:53
Wow, that's great. So now, if you were to give advice to someone who's expecting, or even new parents, what would be the biggest thing you would?
Devon: 37:03
you would want to say I think, like advocating for what you know is best for yourself. I feel like in that last couple of weeks that we talked about, I had to learn that and things like just shutting off my phone and you don't owe somebody an answer about some intimate part of your birth experience or my grandmother wanted me to let her know when I was going into labor, because she lives three hours away and she wanted to be here and I had to tell her, which was so hard, like I want her to. You know, I want to please her, I guess, and it was really hard for me to say no, I'm not going to tell you. Know, I want to please her, I guess, and it was really hard for me to say no, I'm not going to tell you when I'm going into labor, I'm not going to look at my phone, I don't want people worrying, I'm just going to do my own thing. And it was actually really great because I got to surprise her with a baby.
Devon: 37:54
I think it took me a long time in pregnancy to get to that point where I was able to do that, but I'm glad I did and I think it's going to be helpful going forward like as a parent and I think the other thing would be trusting the timing of your body and your baby with going into labor. I the weight felt excruciating to me in the moment but I just wanted to get the baby out and like I just wanted to get the baby out and do anything I could at points but hindsight being 2020, I feel like my body was really ready for labor when it finally happened. I know people do go into labor spontaneously and have super long labors, but I was expecting, sort of as a first-time mom, maybe 24-hour labor and I felt like my body was just totally ready and it was on the shorter side of what I expected and I didn't have sort of a long drawn out early labor. It just started off with like fast, intense contractions. So I think that that patience like paid off eventually and I think it's really hard to do you hit like 39 weeks and you just want a baby in your arms but to just trust that your body is is working and doing things and that your baby will come when they're ready.
Angela: 39:11
Yeah, those are some super good points. And also to like remember that maybe the due date isn't exact, like maybe it is off a week and you're actually going in to labor at 42 weeks when you think it might be 43 weeks, you know, like to just not stay super focused like on those dates and numbers.
Devon: 39:33
Yeah, I think that is exactly what happened, because I was pretty sure when I ovulated, like that's why I didn't take the Clomid, and when they gave me the date at the first ultrasound, because I was pretty sure when I ovulated, like that's why I didn't take the Clomid, and I, when they gave me the date at the first ultrasound, I was like, okay, I was excited because it was further along than I thought. I was like, oh, yay, I'm actually further pregnant. But you know, once I was at the end, I was remembering that and I was like, yeah, I think they were just wrong. And that's another thing I think that midwifery care actually really helped me with was trusting my body. In the beginning, you know, the main med told me this is your due date and I said, okay, now I think I would say no, I actually know when I ovulated, I don't think that's my due date. I don't know if that matters, I don't know if they change it, but I think they helped me to like learn my body better and be confident that I might actually be right.
Devon: 40:31
So that's one thing I would do differently next time. Probably wouldn't do a dating ultrasound in the first place. But yeah, this is also like. This is a very small piece of advice but one I wish I had heard. I looked at a lot of lists of like postpartum supplies to have on hand and you know I had all of like the peri bottles and witch hazel and all that, but my mouth was like my throat was so sore from, like you know, yelling and throwing up and then I had all these stitches and it was so painful to cough and I had such a sore throat in the first couple days but I was terrified to cough. I would stock up on like cough drops and throat spray and things like that, because that was not fun to deal with with a lot of stitches. So anyone who's pregnant get some.
Devon: 41:26
That's a great, a great suggestion yeah, I wouldn't have anticipated my throat hurting so much after having a baby, but it didn't.
Angela: 41:36
Oh well, thank you so much, devin, for sharing your story today.
Devon: 41:44
Yeah, thank you. It was really nice to be able to share it, and I listened to so many birth stories while pregnant and found them really helpful, so it's cool to share my own.
Angela: 41:50
Yeah, oh, my gosh, I love that. Like story medicine is just yeah, exactly. And that's the end of another episode of the my Main Birth podcast. Thank you for joining me and listening. I hope that the stories shared here have been inspiring and informative to all of my listeners. If you're looking to capture your own birth story, I highly recommend considering my birth photography services. I'm a professional photographer and I'm very passionate about capturing the raw and emotional moments of the birthing process, and I designed a personalized and intimate photo album, creating a beautiful and lasting memory of one of the most special moments of your life. For more information, head over to mymainphotocom and schedule a call with me. Thanks again for tuning in and I look forward to bringing you more amazing birth stories. Don't forget to subscribe and leave me a review, and I'll see you back here again next week.