MyMaine Birth- Nya’s Holistic Maine Homebirth Story

My Maine Birth - Nya’s Holistic Maine Home Birth Story

Giving birth is a major life event but also a raw and absolutely divine experience that deserves to be documented and remembered. Today I am presenting to you the story of a first time mom who decided to have a Maine homebirth - Welcome Nya!

Welcome to MyMaine Birth, a space where I share the real life stories of families and their unique birth experiences in the beautiful state of Maine. From our state’s biggest hospitals to birth center births, and home births, every birth story deserves to be heard and celebrated. From the first feelings of pregnancy to the first cry of your newborn, we explore the journey of child birth in all of its beauty, intensity and emotion. Whether you are a soon to be mom, a seasoned mother, or simply interested in the world of birth, these episodes are for you!

Today’s birth story guest is Nya and we are going to be hearing her share about her experience as a first time mom birthing at home. Nya’s passion is the radical Free Birth movement, and supporting women as they re-awaken their ancestral, intuitive wisdom in pregnancy, birth, and beyond. Through this work she has realized the deep importance of true, well-rounded health for women and babies, especially those choosing to birth outside of the system.

Her company is Woildlife Wellness you can find her online at https://www.woildlifewellness.com You can also find her on Instagram @woildlifewellness

If you or someone you know is expecting and would like to document the precious moments of meeting your baby for the first time, I highly recommend considering my Ellsworth Maine Birth Photography services. I am a professional Ellsworth Maine Birth Photographer specializing in capturing the beauty and emotion of birth. I also provide all families with a treasured keepsake to cherish for years to come. I create a personalized and intimate photo album with every birth photography session!

Join me and listen here to my hear my conversation with Nya. Scroll down for the full transcript!

Angela: Hi Nya, Welcome to MyMaine Birth, how are you today?

Nya: I’m good, how are you Angela?

Angela: I’m good, I’m excited to hear your birth story! So before we get into it, can you share a little bit about you and your family?

Nya: Yeah, absolutely. So it is me and my partner Isaac, we are engaged to be married this December. Our little one Aurelia is 2 years old, she just turned 2 on Valentines Day. And we are pregnant with our second kiddo who is going to be arriving probably this June, which is exciting. And we also have two big dogs and a cat.

Angela: Aww, alright - so lets talk about when you found out you were pregnant and a little bit about how your pregnancy with Aurelia went.

Nya: So as I said, Isaac and I aren’t married. We became pregnant with Aurelia about 6 months into our relationship. So it was definitely kind of a shock for us, but at the same time - we had known from truly like 2 weeks after dating - that we were meant to have a baby together. We just felt this really strong deep knowing. So there was a lot of mixed feeling when it actually happened, because of all the societal things about how you are supposed to do things and what not. It was definitely scary for me, I was 22 when I found out - I turned 23 a few weeks after. So I was still pretty young, and still dependent on my parents for a lot of things. Isaac and I had just moved in together for a few months so I found out and Isaac was at work and I called him - at work - and I was crying and scared, and he was very grounded and stable and was like - its ok, everything is going to be fine. And then he hung up and told everybody at his work - he was like, I didn’t know it was supposed to be a secret. But we were able to shift out of fear and anxiety and into excitement and connection and closeness over it really quickly, because for 6 months we had been dreaming of becoming a family together someday.

Angela: Alright, so what type of care did you receive when you were pregnant and what did that kind of look like for you at that time?

Nya: I waited a while before I actually started seeking out any care - because I was just so new to all of it - all I knew was you go to a hospital and get checked out by an Obstetrician, because that’s what everyone I knew ever did. So I waited for quite a few weeks, and then I did actually go in to a local hospital just to get my pregnancy confirmed for my workplace so that I could get some time off. So I went in and it was this male doctor, and first of all no one even explained to me who was the doctor and who was the nurses and what they were going to do and what I was even there for - it was really confusing. And this old man, sat down - and didn’t introduce himself or anything - he didn’t say yeah, your pregnant - he just looks at me and says - so are you going to keep it? And I was like whoa, Oh My God! What a disrespectful thing to say! Is he saying that because I don’t have a ring on my finger or because I look young, or does he just say that to everyone?

So I was like - Yes, and I would like to talk about my options for care, that’s why I’m here. So that was really weird and then I told him that I wanted a home birth and he kind of laughed and was like - oh, we don’t do that. Because I guess I thought that you could seek care at a hospital and then they would just like show up at your house. And they used the term midwife for 3 or 4 completely different professions. Like a nurse midwife is a completely different profession than a certified professional midwife - so I had no idea what was going on. So when they told me they couldn’t do a home birth - I was like ok well then, screw you guys.

Then I started looking around for a home birth midwife and the first woman I spoke to on the phone was a CPM and she was super awesome and we got on the phone and she was like - listen, I only work with women who want to do like the deep, spiritual work of pregnancy. She said - I’m not here to just do your tests and stuff. And I was like - Awesome, that’s what I want. I want our prenatal sessions to be about the sacred portal and the right of passage of pregnancy and birth and I want to process through how intense that is with a wise woman - I don’t care about the medical tests and stuff. So she came over and did a super long meeting with us - just as a consultation, and I fell in love with her. Isaac and I had a conversation afterwards just to confirm if we wanted to do it - and he had never heard of free birth before - and he was like, well can’t we just do it by ourselves? He said if we aren’t going to do any of the tests anyways and you want you midwife to be super hands off - you could probably just do it yourself. But I was still very much in a semi-medicalized mindset of fear - I didn’t really know. I wasn’t sure if I trusted that my body could do it. So I liked having someone there - basically for emergencies - because I wanted someone to save me in case of an emergency.

I wasn’t ready to take that full radical responsibility of doing that myself - now I am - but I don’t feel any regret for the way that I did it. Especially because I went through this really incredible 10 module course with my midwife that she created - learning how to heal childhood wounds through the wisdom of the five elements - Earth, Water, Air, Fire and Ether. And really doing some deep psycho-spiritual work through that course work with her - along side with Isaac - he did the course work too. We did special rituals for every element every month - and journal writing. Just processing and getting ready to become parents, and it truly - I absolutely believe that was a core component to me leaving behind this fearful medicalized persona and stepping into my power. So that by the time I was ready to birth - I know for a fact that I could have done it without my midwife there.

And it was minutes after that I had that light bulb moment - like Isaac was right, I could have done this all by myself. That was so easeful! Obviously birth is hard, or it was hard for me. But I just remember feeling like - oh I didn’t need someone to save me! I didn’t need someone to mother me, or protect me from this dangerous thing that is birth. I am so glad I had my midwife there as I was going through that transition - but as soon as I birthed my baby I came out the other side. And I think it is because of the hard work - like spiritual work - that she did with me during pregnancy. I have yet to find another licensed midwife that is prioritizing that kind of work.

I didn't do any of the test - tests, she did check my blood pressure a couple times - but once she realized that my standards were pretty low - she was like, we’re fine - we don’t need to do this anymore. I did get some ultrasounds - and actually at 15 weeks - I had a freakout, about whether my baby was alive or not - and I demanded an extra ultrasound. Just because I was having a mental breakdown and wanted to see if my baby was alive - which I look back on as so ridiculous - because my baby literally could have died walking from the ultrasound back to my car in the parking lot - there’s no real reassurance for that, you know? I just had no coping mechanisms for my own fear at that point. So I did get a total of three ultra sounds, I think the last one was the anatomy scan at 20 some odd weeks.

I got a blood test for nutritional paneling, because I was vegan at the beginning of my pregnancy and my midwife was really trying to get me to eat animal fats. So we did a blood test to “show me” that I was severely malnourished as a vegan - and that helped, a lot, kind of give me something on paper to help change my diet. And I changed my diet - within a few months I was accelerating my Iron and all of those things really quickly. So yeah, very basic - I didn’t do the glucose screening for Gestational Diabetes, I didn’t do any other blood tests. I didn’t do the group B strep swab at the end - I didn’t do any internal exams during pregnancy once-so ever. Really nothing invasive at all - except the ultrasounds, and I didn’t realize how invasive they were at the time.

Angela: So can you tell me about your labor and birth story and how all that went?

Nya: Yeah, so my birth story kind of starts in the weeks leading up to it. Because I birthed at almost 42 weeks which of course, when you have a licensed midwife, starts to become a risky situation because you run the risk of them having to transfer you to a hospital even though nothing is medically wrong. So once we got past the 40 week mark, it was kind of like - this clock started ticking. It’s like ok - I have two weeks to give birth and if I don’t, then I don't get my home birth - even if I’m fine to give birth at home because of her regulations and the state laws for that and everything. Which I still didn’t fully understand. I had basically decided in my head that if I got to 42 weeks I would fire my midwife at the last minute and just do it at home - and then call her as a friend if I was having an emergency - but luckily we didn’t have to get to that point.

So my parents from Hawaii were in town, and they were not super stoked on the idea of a home birth. There was a lot of tension going on, like a lot of unspoken passive tension going on between us because of that. And the craziness of the situation, they had only met my partner one time - and barely knew him, and felt like I barely knew him at that point - so there was a lot of unspoken wounding going on - a lot of mother wound stuff that I had to work through in those last few weeks. It culminated in one really peak intense moment with my family - where I officially un-invited them to my birth. Because previously we had been planning to have my whole family in the house with me while I was birthing. Which now I look back on as a crazy idea - like why would I want that many people in my birth space. But at the time, I was like - oh I want my mom and my step-dad and my sister there, and whatever. But anyway, that actually created like a huge rift in us - and they actually flew home to Hawaii.

I could feel my body - holding out and kind of waiting - until they left. The day that they finally got on the plane to leave the state, my waters broke. So a few days prior I had tried using castor oil - which for anyone listening I absolutely do not recommend - its not even necessarily safe, but above all that - it’s just completely not enjoyable and its’ completely not ever, ever, ever, necessary so - don’t do it! It basically give you violent diarrhea until the elimination contractions start causing uterine contractions - as like an at home induction method - bad idea, don’t do it! So I did that, and it kind of started working and then it fully didn’t work. So I went like 5 days after that and then my parents left. Then I woke up at 4am on Valentines day. Isaac and I - we both woke up at around 4/4:30 am so he could get ready for work.

I just felt really jittery, and really awake, and excited for some reason. And I just kind of was like rolling on the yoga ball - just letting my hips open up. I had no idea I was entering into the birth portal - I was just like - ohh yoga ball feels nice. I just was kind of relaxing on my couch - just texting my friends - and fully feeling finally, very relaxed and at peace because my family was not there. Unfortunately I had to have that - to feel relaxed. I was totally home alone - no one was there - Isaac was at work. At around 9:20 I stood up from the couch because I felt like I had to go pee - and as I stood up - this huge gush came out, just like in the movies. I was wearing a big fluffy bathrobe and soaked right through it - there was so much fluid.

I walked all the way to the bathroom and leaked fluid the whole way there - sat on the toilet - leaked more fluid. Then I went back to the couch - and that happened three more times. So I went back to the bathroom like three more times because I kept leaking more fluid. I was like - oh I didn’t realize it doesn’t happen all at once. So eventually I just stood in the shower. I told Isaac, and I told my midwife. And then I called Isaacs mom and asked her to bring me some food because she lived right near us. She went and brought me some scones which were super yummy and came over and chatted a little bit. I pretty much - immediately - as soon as my water broke - I started having some cramps type contraction feelings. I wouldn’t even really call them contractions - they were very light surges of little tiny feelings of pain that kind of wrapped around my back. It was borderline pleasurable because it was so light - but I was also so happy that I was finally giving birth - that it actually felt good.

I was going about my day completely normally for quite a few hours like that. I chatted with Isaacs mom and grandma for a little bit when they came over. Then when they left, I listened to music and turned on the radio - I cooked myself some breakfast and just kind of dance around the house by myself. Even though it was the middle of February, we had just had a huge snowstorm so it was really bright and sunny - it felt so good! I was just having a blast - I was having so much fun. There was no time pressure on anything anymore - I felt completely free. That was my time to just be in the moment - with birth. The contractions started getting closer together and a little bit more intense, but never so much that I couldn’t enjoy myself and have a smile on my face. So I kind of cleaned up the space, and lit some of my candles, and things like that.

At a certain point it did start getting more intense to the point where I did want a little bit of pain relief on my back, so I got into the shower and just let the hot water run on my back. At this point it was probably around one in the afternoon or so. And I was texting Isaac the whole time, because he was set to work until 7pm that night - he was working an all day long, double shift. And I was telling him what was going on with me - and he was like - I think I should come home. And I was like - no, it could go on like this for days. I have no expectations that this is going to all of a sudden shift - many first time moms have multiple day labors - it’s completely normal - so don’t rush home expecting that I’m going to have a baby in a couple hours. And he was like - no, I’m going to come home. So he started heading home and I just had the phone on speaker and let him just talk to me about his day as a little bit of a distraction from the contractions while I was in the shower. I was on my hands and knees letting the water go on my back, and I was just kind of swaying - and he was talking to me - and I was starting feeling more conscious and specific about my preferences for everything. I started really tuning into what I wanted and what I needed in a very clear way - which looking back is actually really cool. So many women describe that point in labor as - oh I just got really bitchy and demanding - but what is really happening is you are getting in tune with your truth and your needs. So Isaac was asking me what I wanted for lunch because he was going to stop at the store. And I was like - oh I want something cold but not this and not a salad, I want something fresh and really nourishing but it has to be cold, it can’t be hot - it can’t be desert food, maybe some fruit and some cold meat. I don’t even remember what he brought me but I took one bite and was like - nope that wasn’t it.

So he got home and pretty instantly - I kicked into gear in terms of really getting the space ready. We already had a birth pool set up - we set our birth pool up at 38 weeks - so we literally had a birth pool in our house for a month - like in our living room. He started lighting sage and cleansing the space, and lighting candles and turned on my Christmas lights and stuff like that - I had little affirmations hung up on the wall - total first time mom home birth vibes. I just really wanted the space to feel beautiful. And he took care of our dogs. One of our dogs was really dying - like really at the end of his life at that time - which was kind of special for us both to be in these big portals together. So Isaac took care of the dogs, and cooked us some food - we just were kind of in it. I don’t remember a whole lot about this time - because my contractions at this time I think they were 3-4 minutes apart and they stayed that close for a long time. Like my body did a lot of hard work at the beginning and then kind of sat in this space for a long time. But again, I didn’t have vaginal exams so I didn’t know how many centimeters dilated I was. I didn’t really track my contractions either - at one point I was looking at the clock on my phone and realized they were close. So we did that for awhile, we were just laughing and talking and cracking jokes.

And then Isaac asked me if I wanted to play a video game with him - like on the Xbox - which we had played together a bunch, and it was super fun and silly, like light hearted child hood stuff for us. And I was like - I don’t know, now doesn’t really seem like the right time. He was like come on, your doing fine, let’s do something to distract us and pass the time. And I was like - ok. So he turned on the television and the Xbox - and as soon as the screen was on I felt like I could literally feel the radiation coming off the screen and into my body - and it actually like hit me - and I was like ugh, F that, turn that off. I was like - I can’t have that kind of technology in my space - and it threw me into a huge contraction, and I was leaning over the back of the couch and I got thrown into this big contraction that actually quite hurt. And I looked at Isaac and was like - turn it off - we’re not playing games right now.

So from that point on, things got a little more serious. I had Isaac call the midwife not long after that. I think she got there around 4:30 or 5 pm. And she was really insistent on the phone - like are you sure Nya wants me to come? And I was like - yes , come! So that was nice, she was not rushing to get over there by any means. And she got there - and at that point I was naked and rolling on the ground over a yoga ball. I was still in a pretty good mood, still kind of laughing and talking in-between contractions but my zone of consciousness was getting smaller and smaller and closer and closer to myself because I was having to focus more on the contractions. So I didn’t even notice when she got there - she just started setting up her essential oils and things like that. I was at this point moving around to different positions around the house - we had music playing. I think she used a Doppler to check the heartbeat but I really don’t remember because I was just so focused in on myself - and everything was obviously fine.

And then I started entering intro transition - which at the time I didn’t know it was transition - I just thought, wow this got really hard. So I was on the couch, and I was on my back on the couch - leaning back, because my back was hurting so bad I felt like I needed to rest it. But then as soon as the contraction would start it would force me to go forward - but I couldn’t get all the way forward up onto my hands and knees in time - so what I would do - was in-between contractions I would lay on my back and when I felt the contractions starting I would flip sideways off the couch onto my hands and knees and as soon as it ended I would flip back onto the couch onto my back. So I did a bunch of this flip flopping - like a fish out of water - like one arm off the couch one leg off the couch - just truly riving around like an animal. I was in the most pain and discomfort of my life during that moment. I asked them to get the birth pool ready for me and they got it ready. So I got in the birth pool and that was pretty instant relief - like truly liquid epidural - it felt really good.

So I labored in the pool for awhile and I got out a couple times. I got in and out of the pool and played around with that. But things were definitely calming down. At some point I got back in the pool - and just leaned up against the back of the pool and closed my eyes - and pretty much fully fell asleep for I think like an hour and a half or two hours. I could still feel that I was having contractions - like my body was having surges - but they weren’t painful at all. And I was like dreaming - like fully asleep - dreaming. That was really beautiful. My dreams were super psychedelic and weird and I don’t remember any of them - I just remember they were crazy and beautiful and psychedelic and super prophetic type dreams. And then I kind of just shot awake at one sensation after all of that deep meditative time - and felt like it was time to push. I didn’t feel like it was time to push, I just had a voice in my head say - it’s time to push. Which was interesting because I was like - I don’t know if my body is actually pushing. But at that point it must have been 8:30pm or so, and it was dark out - like when I opened my eyes it was dark - and I was like, oh ok.

So I felt like I wanted to get out of the pool. I got out of the pool and didn’t make it very far. My midwife asked if she could do a vaginal exam and I agreed, it’s probably the one thing I regret about my birth was agreeing to that. It was very uncomfortable - especially after having been in such an autonomous, peaceful, easy place for so long - like for my whole labor up until that moment - all of the sudden having someones fingers inside of me felt not great. But also I didn’t know because I had never had a vaginal exam before, so I didn’t know it was going to be like that. So that kind of zapped me out of that deep meditative zone a little bit. After that I started trying to bear down, it didn’t feel like it was working. I didn’t feel like anything was happening - but I’m sure things were happening. My midwife suggested that we go to the bathroom - and I was like - no I don’t want to go to the bathroom, I don’t want to give birth to my baby in the bathroom. And she was like well, some women really benefit from sitting on the toilet, because it’s what you're used to pushing things out on. I was like well, ok. So we walked - I walked with a lot of assistance. I had a couple contractions that I had to stop halfway there. And then I got to the toilet and someone sat me down on the toilet and they both left me completely alone. I was like - where did you guys go - like where did you guys go? But looking back I’m glad they did that because I had two really big contractions on that toilet that completely brought my baby down. I put my own hand just barely on the outside of my yoni and felt my baby’s head. I was like - oh shit, she’s literally crowning right now - I had no idea. So I just called for Isaac and I was like Isaac she’s coming! And he gracefully slid a fluffy blanket on the floor as I guess Rachael pulled me up off the toilet and I kind of just plopped down onto my hands and knees and that’s where I stayed.

So I was in a modified Childs pose, with my butt like up in the air and my head down on my hands, so it wasn’t fully hands and knees. And I pushed for maybe 20 minutes. It was that time on the floor when I really felt the fetal ejection reflex - I was not in control of that. There were some moments when I really added to it with my own pushing because I felt like that was what I wanted and needed to do. But there was no stopping those pushing contractions. I really remember myself roaring and I looked over and my midwife was on one side and Isaac was on the other and they were both a few feet away giving me some space and just being quiet and gently encouraging me. Then when the head came out I heard my midwife give Isaac a few instructions how to catch the baby. So Isaac put his hands under, ready to catch and she really slid out super easily. Obviously I felt the ring of fire when her head came out, but the ring of fire wasn’t really that painful or uncomfortable for me at all because I could feel my body releasing her. So she slid out into Isaac’s hands and I, instead of waiting for him to pass her under my legs to me - I like, lifted one leg up and flipped over the umbilical cord backwards and leaned up against the bathtub. Because I instantly, as soon as she was out of my body - I was like she needs to be on me. I just felt this strong sense of - she needs to be on my body. So he handed her to me - and I just held her and she didn’t cry, and I didn’t cry. I just held her and looked at her and brought her close to me and just looked down at her little eyes opening up. And we just kind of gazed at each other, she was fine and totally happy but she didn’t give that big new baby cry. Yeah, it was beautiful.

I looked up at Isaac and he kind of had almost tears in his eyes. And my midwife was saying - you did it! So that was really nice. And my placenta was basically already sitting right there in my yoni. So my midwife was like, your placenta is right there and ready - so I just coughed and my midwife used her hands to guide the placenta into a bowl. It was super easy, I barely felt that at all. I know a lot of women, even in home births receive Pitocin after birth to help get the placenta out and prevent hemorrhaging. I didn’t have any of that, it was completely unnecessary. I had my baby on me, I was at peace, I was undisturbed and my placenta truly just slid out with a couple coughs.

At that point it was 9pm, so my labor was exactly from 9am to 9pm, 12 hours - it just took a whole day and it was perfect. I absolutely loved that timeline, I wouldn’t have wanted it to be any quicker really, and I wouldn’t have wanted it to be any longer. And it was beautiful. We eventually got up and made it over to one of the couches where we kind of cozied up for a while and tried to breast feed. She actually didn’t latch right away. I struggled to figure that out - so we got upstairs. I can’t believe I walked upstairs - we should have set up a bed downstairs. But I walked upstairs and got into bed and went to sleep with her. She was right on Isaacs chest at that point because I needed some space to just rest. And she woke up and we had our first really successful breast feeding session in the middle of the night when she woke up after. But we basically got a whole nights sleep - we woke up the next morning and was like - oh we’ve got a baby here! But we did figure out the breastfeeding literally over night so we were able to wake up the next morning, have it be a new day - have her breastfeed, and everything felt completely normal. Like she had always been there. And I just lay in bed all day and just looked at her - like all day! It was a pretty beautiful experience.

The knowledge and the feeling of serious power that I felt after that Maine home birth - because I really did it all on my own. That lead me to so many other major life decisions afterwards that allowed me to step into my power - in other areas of life - that completely , completely transformed my life. That birth was the reason I was able to quit my job and start my own business and become a birth worker. And everything I have done since then has been initially inspired by the total freedom and empowerment that birth ignited within me that I really don’t think would have been possible if I had been in an environment - even in my home, with a more hands on midwife who had “managed me” or “made sure I was safe”. Because that whole notion of being managed or being “watched over” and ensured your safety by somebody else - it takes the responsibility and the power away from you and thus some of the pride when it is all said and done. Like really being able to say - I did that, and I didn’t need anybody there. In fact, I really didn’t even need the people there that were there.

Looking forward to this next birth - I told Isaac - if you don’t want to be right there at the birth, you don’t have to be. Like, if you want to be outside working on the yard with Aurelia, and I just give birth by myself in the house - that’s fine. I just don’t feel this need or pressure to - make it anything. It just feels really normal and natural and very integrated. Birth is really simple and it is just going to happen - I feel very confident in that this time around because of that first birth.

Angela: It sounds like Isaac had a lot of good instincts

Nya: He really does, with everything - he is so connected to his intuition. It is a huge reason why we have been a successful couple and a successful parenting unit. Both of us have worked really hard to listen to our intuition and to listen to our faith, above anything else really. And that has lead us to so many big, important decisions - like giving birth autonomously, and empowered. And this time choosing an unassisted pregnancy and unassisted birth. And it just feel yeah, like everything we do is guided by intuition.

Angela: So how did your postpartum time go?

Nya: Postpartum was a completely different experience. Very challenging. Mostly because I put truly zero effort into understanding or learning anything about postpartum at all during that pregnancy - because I was so focused on the birth - kind of from a place of fear, of like - I need to make sure that the birth goes ok. I had no space or energy to think about postpartum. I had absolutely no idea what it would be like. I was in a lot of pain in my perineum and in my yoni. I think probably because I was trying too hard to push. Breastfeeding, we had some challenges - I’m pretty sure Aurelia has an undiagnosed lip tie, that is resolving itself with time - but early postpartum that makes things hard. So I had really painful breastfeeding stuff - like cracked bloody nipples - like huge blisters on my nipples. Crying, like really crying - every time she latched on for over a month, because it hurt so bad. And my body was in pain for many weeks - like my muscles. And I bled post birth for at least 3 weeks, some women bleed for only 3-10 days - I bled for at least three weeks. So everything took a lot of time to heal. I was in a lot of pain and discomfort. Our dog was dying - he required a lot, a lot of hands on care - he couldn’t walk and was having accidents all the time. So there were all these circumstantial things that were going on. Plus I was still navigating this huge, huge emotional separation from my parents - now they were in Hawaii - so now over text we are trying to mend this huge argument that we had. And there was a lot of stress and tension in the air.

And on top of that because I didn’t know anything about postpartum - because I didn’t educate myself at all on the reality of what postpartum would be like - Isaac and I never really had a clear conversation about him staying home from work. So day one postpartum - like that first day after me giving birth - happened to be his day off. So he was there for that day but after that he just went back to work like normal. So he didn’t actually take a single sick day or anything like that - because we just didn’t know that I would need that. So very basic things like day 2 postpartum - I was completely home alone. Just getting up 3 times a day for my own meals, and cooking a meal - or even just heating up a meal that someone had prepared for me. Or like, getting up multiple times to use the bathroom - and getting up to change the baby’s diaper every time, because I didn’t have any diaper changing stuff where I was resting - so I had to get up and cary the baby to the changing table. And all that stuff. Then getting the dogs outside to take care of the dogs - and it was winter. So just everything was hard - I did nothing right in terms of setting myself up for success in postpartum. I went a long time in victimhood just saying postpartum in general is just so hard and so awful and like people should have showed up for me more and whatever - all of this victim mentality.

And looking back - I realize I created that - like I didn’t do any research, I didn’t learn anything about what my body would be going through, or pelvic floor physiology, or breastfeeding, or any of that. I just completely set myself up for failure. And a couple weeks after that when I realized how hard it was - I didn’t ask for help. I felt super weird and blocked about asking people for help. So I really - that postpartum was a huge confronting time for me to learn what it really means to be in motherhood - which is, we have to be educated about our own bodies. We have to be educated about what is optimal for our babies and our bodies and getting up and walking around the house and preparing food for yourself on day 2 postpartum is not optimal - and can set you up for a lot of pelvic floor problems down the line. I do believe that I had some undiagnosed pelvic floor problems because of how I treated myself in postpartum that lasted for at least a year. Just things like incontinence and really challenging issues during sex for a long time - just pain and weird discomfort in my yoni for at least a year after birth. Which is common, actually a lot of women experience that - but it’s not normal. We are not supposed to feel broken and battered after birth, especially after an undisturbed birth - where no one was messing with me. I really did that to myself in postpartum. So I think I a little bit limited myself - like maybe I upper limited myself - like I couldn’t handle how incredible and expansive the powerful feeling of the birth were so I a little bit self sabotaged my own postpartum after that to bring myself back down to where I was comfortable. But that all started fading and shifting at month three or four and things started feeling a little more normal - like for many women it does just pass with time. But that is one thing I am doing very differently this time around. I have set not just planning for postpartum - but I have set my whole life up - like day to day life in a way that I can transition in and out of pregnancy, birth and postpartum and these phases of the childbearing years with ease because of the way my life is set up now. Like I don’t have to apply for maternity leave or paternity leave for Isaac or anything like that - we can just flow with our life and he will be here to take care of me.

Angela: Wow, so you are also a radical birth keeper - your company is Woildlife Wellness, can you tell me more about your work and the services that you offer?

Nya: Yeah, so after I gave birth - I felt a really strong calling to create my own business and share this feeling of empowerment with other people. I got involved with Emilee Saldaya from https://www.freebirthsociety.com I took her radical birth keeper school which is an authentic unlicensed midwifery program to teach women how to truly attend births in integrity - completely non-medically as unlicensed, non medical professionals. So I took that program. I did attend a couple hospital births in the area when Aurelia was maybe six months old or so and I was just like - nope, not doing that again. The stark difference between what I got to experience as a healthy mother versus what other mothers had to go through in the hospital, supposedly for their safety - was absolutely appalling to me. And honestly, quite traumatizing for me - even in these “natural” hospital births.

So I quickly got out of that environment and took the radical birth keeper school - and within a few weeks of me really opening my heart up to doing this kind of underground birth work I was contacted by someone. I was leading these village prenatals which are women’s circles for supporting pregnant women and empowering pregnant women as they move closer towards their birth ceremony. And I was reached out to by a woman in that circle who was, I think like 40 years old, and she had tested positive for Group B strep - and she had checked all these boxes that the hospital doesn’t like for “high-risk” people or whatever and she was just so sick of the way they were treating her. So she fired her Obstetrician at 38 weeks and called me and was like - will you be at my birth? So 10 days later I showed up at her home and witnessed her give birth completely unassisted at home with no medical providers or midwives or anything there and it was incredible and that is what started me on a path of creating this business which at the time was called Shakitirise Healing which has shifted now into Woildlife Wellness because I have realized now I want to work not only with people in the motherhood continuum but with people of all phases of life in terms of supporting people in getting to radical responsibility for their own health and wellness. Like radical responsibility in pregnancy and birth and postpartum but also in parenthood in general in pre parenthood in menopausal times of life and all of it. I have been a yoga teacher for 7 or 8 years now and that has folded beautifully into this business where I am doing a lot of deeply healing yoga for people and then I am taking care of women in this authentic non-medical way throughout their whole pregnancy - women who are truly having wild unassisted pregnancies, and witnessing births completely outside of the system, and providing really loving, nourishing postpartum care for people in their home - which is a huge heart service for me because I know how hard postpartum can be. And I started folding in a lot of online coaching because I realized I wanted to reach more people outside of Maine.

So I also offer a few different coaching packages, specifically around pregnancy and birth education outside of the system - so women who are curious about what diy prenatal care can look like - women who are curious about optimal nourishment during pregnancy, whether you are in the medical system or not but how to take care of yourself optimally during pregnancy without the guidance of a doctor, so that you are truly setting yourself up for an uncomplicated birth. And I also lead one on one courses and coaching through radical birth education - which is teaching the physiological teaching about birth, and all of the research and all of the history and all of the biology about how birth really works. and what is required for a truly physiological uncomplicated, easeful birth - which as many of you know - the primary requirements is being undisturbed, being left alone, being at peace in a comfortable, familiar environment like your home and not being touched or talked to or poked or prodded or any of that stuff. So through that course I have helped women really uncover and understand not just that empowered birth at home is actually biologically optimal for safety - but that it’s most women’s deep desire, and that desire is often covered up with a lot of fear and a lot of programming from our society and a lot of mis-information about the reality of birth and the risks of birth and a lot of media programing about what birth is like to the point where some women don’t even believe they can do it without an epidural, because they just don’t believe that their body was meant to handle birth which is wild because it is the one thing that every single person was born to be able to handle - it is truly our biological evolutionary necessity that we handle it. So my coaching tends to be a combination of the more research, science based education about birth and also the psycho emotional spiritual work of supporting people through their fears and back home to what their dream birth really is.

We offer a lot of different things in Woildlife Wellness, Isaac is also in the process of being folded into the business as a nutritional therapist, which is really exciting because nutrition and how we nourish ourselves is a huge part of having a successful pregnancy, birth, postpartum, breastfeeding, fertility, anything to do with motherhood in general - so having him and his knowledge as a budding nutritional therapist is really incredible. But really at the core we are all about people truly taking sovereign radical responsibility for their lives and living in this more ancestral way of eating right for your body, moving your body right, keeping your body healthy, birthing your babies healthily and living in power with what your destined path - what your biology is meant to do, including career and business paths and wellness as well. Your work is your life and being able to truly be empowered and radical responsible in your work is just as important as in your fitness, your diet, your pregnancy, your birth, you know all of this stuff. So that really is the core of all of our offerings.

Angela: Great, so what is the best way for people to get ahold of you?

Nya: Primarily on instagram @woildlifewellness or on our website https://www.woildlifewellness.com Both Isaac and I are on those platforms so you can DM us, you can email us or contact us through the website and see all of the different offerings there for all of the different radical phases of life. Reach out to us, we have offerings for people truly around the world as well as in person offerings for people right here in Maine. For the in person offerings we serve really only downcast Maine, in and around the Ellsworth area. But we are always open to working with people virtually for just about anything.

Angela: Alright, well I will link all of your information in the show notes so everyone can find you. Thank you so much Nya for sharing your birth story today.

Nya: Aww, thank you so much Angela. And thank you again for the lovely family photo shoot of all of us - we happened to get engaged the next day after that photoshoot so those have become our engagement photos, and yeah we love those photos so much, we treasure them and sent them to everybody for Christmas. I am really happy you are doing birth photography as well, that is such a hugely important part of processing birth for people - so thank you.

Angela: Aww, I love that! Congratulations on your engagement, and I hope you enjoy a happy healthy rest of your pregnancy!

Nya: Bye!

And that’s the end of another MyMaine Birth Podcast! Thank you for joining me. I hope the stories shared here have been inspiring and informative for all of my listeners.

If you are looking to document your own birth story I highly recommend considering my Ellsworth Maine Birth Photography services. I am a skilled professional Ellsworth Maine Birth photographer and am very passionate about capturing the raw and emotional moments of the birthing process. I also design a personalized and intimate photo album, creating a beautiful and lasting memory of one of the most special moments of your life. For more information on Birth Photography in Ellsworth Maine head over to https://www.mymainephoto.com/birthphotography and schedule a complimentary zoom consultation with me.

Thank you again for tuning in and I look forward to bringing you more amazing birth stories. Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a review! And I will see you back here again, next week!